Sons or Daughters

Yesterday I went to the mall and then out to eat with a friend and her 6 year old son. We had a good day, we went to the mall to look for school clothes for the boy, we went to a candle shop for me to do secret shopping, and then we went to Chuck E Cheeses for the boy to explore and for me to get some pizza. The one draw back is the boy doesn't speak English, only Chinese, so I couldn't really help take care of him. But, every child speaks Chuck E Cheeses language.

When my wife was pregnant with our third child I lived in Korea. I was bombarded with questions by people I knew in whether I wanted a son or a daughter. I really thought the question was rude since I didn't really have a choice. Whatever sex the baby is can't be changed so why worry about it. Why even think of it since what will happen will happen. All I wanted was for the mother to be safe and the child to grow up happy and healthy. I am very glad that everything turned out fine.

There is a big difference between having a son or a daughter. My first daughter was very pushy and wanted things her way. I decided not to treat her in a gender specific way and I got her trucks and toy guns and took her jogging with me and treated her like a son sometimes. She decorated the trucks, used the guns as flower vases, and adored the little puppies during the runs. I found out you can't take the "girl" our of girls. As my daughters grew up they did all the stuff most girls do and seemed to enjoy their childhood.

Being with a little boy for one day made me realize that they are just different. My daughters would play quietly in a room and seemed docile and domesticated. William could sit still for about 20 seconds and then had to run or get up and explore or start cutting paper with scissors. It was really one of those things where you had to watch him every second or he was into something! I can't imagine having three of them. I can't imagine being a single mother having a son!

I would never say I regret not having a son because then I would have to choose one of my kids I wouldn't want and that would be impossible. I do enjoy being around little boys because I understand the way they think and what motivates them, which I wasn't and isn't always true with my daughters. I am not sure I have or ever had the energy for a son and I'm not sure any one person does. It is fun to be around little boys, but I'm more in the uncle or grandparent mode where it is always nice to give them back after a while. When I was in my 20s and not married I often borrowed kids for a day to give me something to do and help take the kids out of the parents hair for a while. Now I realize how nice that way for the parents when at the time I was being a little selfish and wanted to have someone to do things with.