Who wants to live here!!

For the past 6 years I have lived in the Silicon Valley getting paid less than anyone I know. I live in one of the most expensive places in the USA. I work for a national company and they don't understand how low my pay is. If I get a 25% pay raise I would make about what my contemporaries make. I never thought about how much I make. I never thought about how much further my paycheck could go if I lived in other parts of the country. I live here because it is where my ex-wife chose to live after we got divorced and I want to live near my children. I don't like big cities and crowds of people.

The last 2 companies I worked for were national companies and paid me well for other parts of the country. That has been my biggest problem, people that don't live here don't understand how expensive it is here. The average price of a home here is $500,000 and that is for a small 3 bedroom 2 bath house. I live in a mobile home and that costs between $50,000 and $150,000 and then you have to pay for space rental. I pay about $1,700 for a mobile home. I am looking at moving to a small town in Pennsylvania. In fact, they don't call them towns they call them boroughs.

I have been looking at homes to buy in that area and I can buy a home for less than I paid for my mobile home. I can buy a duplex for about the same price as I paid for this home. I was looking and found a beautiful home on the river and I would pay about twice as much as I did for my mobile home and that would be monthly payments for less than half of what I pay monthly here. Now I realize that the amount of pay I have made in the past few years is great for other parts of the country. If I lived in another area I would pay $1000 less for housing and that would mean I would be making $1000 more to put in my pocket.

I don't know if I will get this job in Pennsylvania, but if I do I will be getting about twice as much as the average salary in the area. I can imagine that people in the new location would ask me why I would leave one of the most popular and beautiful areas of the country to go to an area that everyone wants to leave. I guess some people want to live in large cities and some people want to live in a small town. I have always thought I wanted to live in a small town except I have never lived in one so I'm worried that I have a corrupted view of life there. I am just excited to move to a new area and have new experiences!!

I can't breathe!!

Have you seen the video of Eric Garner in New York City getting attacked by the police? This HUGE guy is talking to a policeman and another sneaks up behind him and starts choking him. Eric goes down on the sidewalk and the policeman holds his arm around him then another sits on his chest. Eric Garner yells GET OFF, GET OFF. He continues to yell then says GET OFF, I CAN'T BREATHE. Eric Garner eventually dies. The police killed him because they sat on his chest and he couldn't breathe. Seeing this video made me very angry. I can't believe how the police just ignored the man when he was yelling that he couldn't breathe. Cops are in service to assist us, not to kill us. Then I thought, if this big guy is being confrontational with police what are they supposed to do? If they tell him to kneel on the ground and he says no, are they supposed to shoot him or tase him? If there are 4 policemen around him are they supposed to walk away and call the firemen to come spray water on him? When the police tell you to do something, DO IT!! If the police are following your car with blinking lights should you ignore them and just drive home like OJ Simpson did?

So, the guy jumps on his back and takes him down. Does him give up and do what they tell him? NO, I continues fighting with them! They SIT on him, no SHOOT him. He says, "I can't breathe". How many times when I was a kid did I wrestle with my friends and when they were on top of me did I say the same thing and then they got off and I got up and started fighting with them? I hate people getting killed, KILLED!! There is no justification for someone dying. We shouldn't fear that the police will kill us if they stop us or question us. But, how many times have we been told by parents or teachers to obey the police when they tell us to do something? Do we want to fear everyone we pass on the street when the police are not doing their job. People in "black neighborhoods" are upset that the police protect themselves with deadly force, but would they rather the police don't go into their neighborhoods? They are trying to make this a race thing, but then black police officers get criticized that they are members of the police force :(.
These days when a black person gets killed by the police it makes the news. It is always a white police officer killing a black person. Why don't we hear about black people killing black people, because it is common? We get mad at police that kill unruly bad people that don't obey the law and attack the police. Why don't we get mad at people that don't obey the police? Why is it acceptable in our society for people to ignore the laws and ignore the people trying to enforce those laws? NO ONE SHOULD DIE! But, that is why we got tazers and then people get upset that the police use those. Do other countries have these problems?

Do the French police ever kill anyone? Do the Chinese police ever kill anyone? Remember when the biggest fear in Korea was the police visiting your house at night and no one ever seeing you again? Why is our society so self-destructive? Why do we condone lawlessness?
People have advised me not to go to Thailand because it is not safe. I would rather go to a place where the government doesn't allow lawlessness and keeps the people under control rather than live in an area where I am not safe walking down the street because the police are not enforcing the law. I would rather go live in a small town of 5500 people where everyone knows each other and people obey the law rather than continue living in a big city where the police are afraid to do their job because people will question everything they do.

Updated Musicals

I went to a movie yesterday that had a title I knew, and a story I knew, but the movie I didn't know. I saw Annie with Jamie Foxx and Cameron Diaz. I have been watching the Trailer for this movie for the past 6 months and I have been anticipating the movie since I saw it. The one thing I noticed was the trailer didn't show the songs which I thought was strange for a musical. After seeing the movies I understood why the songs weren't included in the trailers ... they were not a reason to go to this movie.

This movie was based in New York City and that is pretty much the only thing this had to do with the play. The songs were "updated" and the story was about a guy that used an orphan girl to make him popular. I really like the actors, but just because they can act doesn't mean they can sing. They can't! I see a lot of movies and don't often write about the ones I see, but this one made me so discouraged I had to write about it. I think the $15 I paid for the play in Carmel of Annie was better spent than the free pass I got for the movie.

The same day I saw Annie I also saw the third installment of Night in the Museum. When I was going to these two movies I thought one was a comedy and the other was a "feel good movie". Night at the Museum was okay, a decent comedy. Annie was not a "feel good movie", it was a disappointing, easy to forget, movie that I wanted it to be good, but wasn't. This week I will see two more movies and I hope they are not disappointing.

We Need to Talk ...

Every time I hear the words, "We need to talk", or "Come talk to me in my office" I cringe. Nothing good can come from that. If the news is good then it will be done in public or in my office. This has happened to me often and I always expect it when it is time for me to move to another job. I have previously written about how I am an "angel" used by God and put into situations he needs me. If I don't want to move to a situation he wants me to then he will force it to happen.

I got an email yesterday from the Headhunter that is wooing me to the job in Pennsylvania. The email said, "I spoke with Jess and Samantha from LCI today.  Do you have time tomorrow for a quick conversation with me?  Just want to share some of their feedback.".  When I got that email I thought their feedback would be they weren't interested in talking to me. I had myself convinced that this was a dead end. I started looking at the job in Thailand more and more. When the man called me at 11:30 this morning he started the conversation with the company liked my resume and wanted a Skype interview as soon as possible. I told them I need 3 or 4 weeks to give my company notice of me leaving and to drive across the country. I contacted my friend in Thailand and told him that I was contemplating the job in Pennsylvania and he agreed that I should take the job offered to me. I don't even know if there will ever be a job in Thailand. I would rather go overseas, but I would rather go somewhere rather than stay in my present situation.

One interesting thing about this is it isn't a roller coaster ride as I expected. This is all going at a steady rate in a specific direction. Another thing that is going along with this direct path is a person I met a few weeks ago has asked for my help in establishing a website. He is making a website for teaching ESL in a classroom environment on line. A teacher and 5 or 6 students, the teacher presents a lesson then the students practice what was taught and then the teacher summarizes the mistakes that were observed. This is how an ESL class is run and if it can be done on line then many more people can benefit. This new friend has asked me to write some lesson plans the on line teachers can use and I will do that over the next couple of weeks. If this works out then I can make some extra money working on his website and helping him improve it. I look forward to my future! It should be fun and exciting :).

Candy Crush Saga of Life

I'm on level 295 in Candy Crush Saga. I think most the people I know have played this addictive game and many still do. I was at a bar with a group of friends a few days ago and a friend of mine was sitting with us, but was playing Candy Crush instead of joking with the rest of us. On the cruise my family went on in the beginning of the year my mom (80s) was playing. She was getting very frustrated so my oldest sister just said to me, "Help mom out." Even though we hadn't talked about whether I played it or not. Why do people at lower levels think people at upper levels can just crack the code?

Many people get caught up on one level and play it and play it until finally things match up and they can advance. I was on one level for over 3 months and I thought I would never pass that level. I kept playing periodically and one day I was just going through the motions and I surprised myself that things just randomly lined up and I passed the level. Some levels have been easy and some seemed impossible ... but eventually, even after 3 months, things worked out. While I was struggling in one level I started to realize how there was a correlation between playing this game and life in general.

Sometimes life gets frustrating and it seems like it will never get better. Sometimes no matter what you do things don't work out. You have to be persistent, you can't give up, you can't lie down and just decide to die. You have to keep trying and time will cure all. Keep trying, don't give up, keep your eye open for ways to overcome the difficulties and the problems will be overcome. Sometimes in Candy Crush you know how to complete the level and you need to wait for the right candies to line up and when they do you can combine them and complete the level.

When you know what you need to do sometimes you get sidetracked and forget what the real goal is. Instead of getting the acorn to the bottom of the screen you see a way to get many points and pursue that. By the time your number of turns runs out you remember what the real goal of the level was and you have to start over. Life is like that. Sometimes you want to provide the best things for your kids so you spend all of your hours making money and don't have time to be with your kids. I really don't believe that it is quality of time with kids rather than quantity of time. Kids need Mom and Dad!

Candy Crush goes on forever. You don't play until level 100 and then you get a little golden coin that says you win. Life is the same way. There isn't an end, you doing win if you live to be 100 and then you climb the stairs to go to heaven. There was a movie called Soylent Green that when you lived to 32 years you walked into a "pleasure chamber" and you never came out. We don't know when our lives will be over. If your life ended on a certain date you would spend the last year before that date saying good bye to everyone and preparing for it. Life goes on until it doesn't so you have to play the LIFE GAME until the end.

In Candy Crush there is a small red button at the bottom left of the screen that you can use to reset the level. In life you can go back to school to reset your skills so you can learn how to overcome your problems. Maybe that "school" is talking to family or friends, maybe that "school" is reading or figuring out how previous life lessons can help you with this dilemma. You can't turn your back to your problems, you can walk away for a while and then come back, but you have to figure a way around or through them. When you go back to the game of life they will be there until you go to the next level.

Past Christmas Tears

Anyone that knows me is aware that I cry easily. I cry at movies, happy or sad, I cry at when I talk about family, I cry at solemn occasions sad occasions and happy occasions. Tearing up is not unusual for me. The earliest Christmases I remember were ones where my dad was stationed overseas and my mom and my brothers and sisters would have Christmas without him. After college I joined the Army and my first Christmas was in Germany. The first Friday in December we had the annual Christmas tree lighting. There were families and single soldiers and I was a single officer standing around the tree singing Christmas carols. I can remember warm tears rolling down my face as I we sang Silent Night. At that time I really started thinking that Christmas was a time of depression rather than a time of cheer. Everyone wants me to be cheerful, but there is so much stress and pressure that when The Season is over I am more cheerful.

Christmases in Germany after that weren't so bad. I just avoided community festivities. When I got back to the States I was married and that was a different kind of stress. The next Christmas I was overseas was when I was in Korea. I was a commander so I had to sponsor the festivities for the soldiers that were without their families and I kept it low key and uneventful. I spent a lot of time alone when I was commander. One night I was walking past a Korean church when it was dark and freezing. There was about a foot of snow on the ground and snow was falling, settling on my face and clothes.

I walked by a Korean church where they were practicing for Christmas Eve service. I stopped and listened for a while. I found out that Korean Christmas songs were the same as American except in a different language. I stayed a little longer and started singing the songs in English outside in the snow. My jacket and hat were covered with snow after the hour I stood outside that church. Silent Night had the tears running down my face again. Depression set in deeply that year and didn't go away when The Season melted away. 5 years later I was in Korea for Christmas with my wife and 2 kids.

I came home late on Christmas Eve and had the kids presents. We lived on the fifth floor with no elevator and I walked up the stairs and we put the gifts under the tree. The two girls were sleeping in the living room waiting for Santa Claus to come. After putting the gifts under the tree we opened the door and yelled, "Bye Santa!". It woke the kids up and one of them went running down the stairs to catch up with Santa. We all stayed up late that evening and played with the toys. From then on we gave presents on Christmas Eve rather than Christmas Day. I can remember the last Christmas I spent with my family before my divorce. It was a stressful Christmas and 2 days later I got thrown out of the house for the third time that week and I never went back. From then on my kids would spend Christmas Eve with me and Christmas Day with their mom. The kids and I go to a restaurant and then they go to Christmas Eve Service with their mom and church friends. Every year I go home and am in tears.

Two years ago it was only me and two daughters, last year and this year it is only Sarah and I. If I move I have a feeling Christmas will only be me again, with memories of my first Christmases after I finished college. We will see what happens, I'm just glad The Season is only really 3 weeks and then life gets back to normal. People always ask why I don't decorate my house and I always tell them I'm busy and I don't see a reason to decorate just for myself.

My Way!

I've lived a life that's full.
I've traveled each and ev'ry highway;
And more, much more than this,
I did it my way.

 Tonight I met with some friends and went to a Norae Bang. One of my friends is a Korean and instead of Karaoke where you sing in a big room with a bunch of strangers they have small rooms where you pay by the hour and sing with just your friends. Singing rooms (Norae-Singing Bang-Room) are a fun way to kill time and embarrass yourself with friends. When I was there I was reminded of the many years I lived in Korea. When we first got there my family, two daughters (at that time) and my wife and I would have dinner at a chicken restaurant every Sunday and then go to a Norea Bang. We did it every Sunday for the first 3 years we were there. I don't think Sarah ever went with us since it is hard to take an infant to a singing room. Every time we went my kids would sing Korean children songs, their mom would sing a

few Korean songs and after they insisted I sing also. I always struggled with what I would sing and always settled on My Way. No real reason I chose that except I could sing it with emotion. As I sang it tonight I had a tear in my eye remembering that time! As I was singing I was thinking about my kids and I knew my daughters would remember going when they were kids so I texted the one daughter that is in the States and sent the picture. Then I remembered that the daughter I texted was the only one that wasn't with us.

My oldest 2 daughter are in Korea and I usually text them using Kakao, but I lost them on my phone recently so I sent a message to my youngest daughter. After I sent it to her I felt silly since she wouldn't know the significance of that song. Sarah is taking a karaoke class in college and she had that class tonight. In the class tonight they talked about the song My Way and the teacher was talking about the controversy behind the song. She texted back to me thinking of the coincidence that I was singing that song.

Don't make decisions before you have to make decisions

I'm going to change jobs soon. I don't know what job I will have in the future, but I know there will be choices I have to make. My present job is going ok. I was out of work for 62 days and then I started back to work doing the same thing I have been doing for the past 6 years. I enjoy my job, but I don't get paid enough and don't have any respect. I have a feeling that the contract won't be renewed and I would like to move on while it is my decision rather than having to take a job because I don't have one.

A few weeks ago I got a call from an old student who is now in Thailand and got a lead on a job working for the government there. They need someone to head up the English language teaching in their province. They want someone to manage the English teachers that work in the variety of schools. The job sounds wonderful, but I don't have any specifics yet and don't know the pay scale they are thinking about. The money is being allocated and plans are being made. Would I want a job designed to build a teacher center from the ground up?

Yesterday I got an email:

Hi Scott,

I saw your resume on Monster.  I am working on a full-time Center Director / Education Director position for a client in rural Pennsylvania.

 Would you consider a dual Center Director & Education Director role for a small liberal arts college?  The position is a blend of operation leadership and education.

 Sincerely,

 John Meurer 

 It made me think of my "dream job". For the past few years when people asked me what my dream job was I said I wanted to set up an ESL school in a rural area where the students would go to class for a few hours each day and then do jobs or activities dealing with normal Americans. This job seems like it is sort of like that. In addition they want me to teach TESL (Teaching ESL) to native speakers to go overseas. 

I don't need a job. I have a job that gives me satisfaction and I enjoy doing. I have a job that I am very good at and keeps me busy. I would like to get a better job, but I don't need to. I would like to get a job that pays me what I'm worth and helps develop my skills and is challenging, But I don't need to. If I'm offered both of these jobs which would I take? If I'm offered only one of these jobs, would I take it? I'm not sure. In addition to these job offers I have someone that has shown interest in buying my home and I will be selling that in mid-January. That way I don't have an anchor to keep me here. My youngest daughter is away to college and my other two are in Asia teaching so I don't have a reason not to go do what I want to do. I won't make any decision before I have to make a decision, but I am open to making changes in my life!!

I lost my job today!!

A week ago I started my job again. I got rehired to the job I was released from 64 days before. While I was jobless I got hired for another company. The other company was a part time job that would pay me when they needed me to visit schools and train the teachers on how to use new material. I was getting trained and went to Chicago to get practical experience in the reading series I was to teach. When I came back from Chicago I got my new job back and didn't have time to finish my training. The other job was interesting to me and would be useful.

If I kept that other job I could do that during the summer when my full time job gets slow. It also gives me more credibility when I work with schools. Last week I got called by my supervisor of the part time job and I didn't answer it because I thought she would be angry at me for not completing the training. Before I could get back to her she called me today. She very apologetically told me there was no more job for me to work and I would be laid off. She was very sad and thought I would be upset. She didn't know my other job had started. She told me I wouldn't be needed any more for this year's work and I will be one of the first hired in the spring to work next summer. I was so happy to hear her say this since I saved me from having to quit. This also gives me the two benefits I was looking at the part time job for, gives me a job in the summer and gives me the credibility when I talk with schools. The lady that called me this morning was happy I took the bad news so well and I was happy she wasn't going to make me finish the training!! Win - Win loss of job!!

Get out of your comfort level

Taking risks

Why do children learn faster than adults? Many people say it is because they don't have so many obstacles to get in the way of learning. It is hard for anyone to learn a new thing if they don't change what they have been doing. If you keep doing what you have done in the past then how can you learn something new? In other countries they have children start to learn English at a young age and starting at 6th grade they have they students learn how to write in English and learn the grammar. They give grammar tests.
They give spelling tests.

Jousting

 They test students and grade them on the mechanics of English. The children spend 6 years studying English and taking English tests, but never learn English ... just learn how to take tests. They come to the USA and still want to do the same here as they do in their country. They spend five hours a day in a classroom studying how to pass a test in their class. After class they go home where they live with someone that speaks their native language and watch tv in their native language and go to stores with people that speak their native language.

Broadsword fighting

When I ask how I can help them they tell me I can teach them grammar. I ask how that will help and they say that is what is needed to learn English. I ask if they want to go to the Renaissance Faire with me and they say no because they much study and they have never been to a Renaissance Faire before. I tell they they need to do something they haven't done before and they say it isn't comfortable for them. I ask them how that comfort thing is working for them. They acknowledge that they haven't been successful yet, but they need to know more grammar!

Thai maiden

If you keep doing the same thing then how will you improve? If you want to improve your chess game you should play with someone more difficult. If you want to improve your English you need to take a risk and try something new. If you want to learn to drive then quit driving in a circle around the parking lot and drive on the freeway. Do something that makes you uncomfortable and do it until you feel comfortable doing it. Then change it up and find something that is not easy and do it until it is easy. Life is always changing. If it doesn't change then it gets boring and you quit growing. LIFE IS AN ADVENTURE, live it!!

Swords on horseback!

Life CAN'T be put on hold

Sarah at 8

It's 5am on a Saturday morning and I can't sleep. In four hours my youngest daughter moves into the dorms to start her Freshman year of college! She should be the one awake at 5am, not me. I guess sometimes I get too emotional for my own good. As I write this tears are forming in my eyes, aaahhhhhhhhh!! You know they say you shouldn't love one child more than the others and I really believe that. You don't love them more, you just love them differently and it keeps changing depending on the situation and which one needs you at the moment.

Youngest daughter

Sarah is my third daughter and she has been different than the other two. When the first two were in elementary school we lived in Korea and I worked 12 hours a day. My oldest two daughters didn't speak English when they were young and I didn't speak Korean so we couldn't communicate well. We came back to the USA when Sarah was 3 so English was easy for her to pick up. I got divorced when Sarah was 5 so she can't even remember when I lived in the house. Me living 10 minutes away is all she ever knew. When she was young her mom would shield her from me. I was never invited to her school events and I never knew when she had sporting events. It was like her mom allowed me to be involved her her sister's lives, but didn't allow me to see Sarah often. I still have stories about Sarah in the younger years, but not as many as her sisters.

Sarah at 7

When Sarah started 4th grade her mom was in Korea so I got to be in her life more. I can remember the first parent-teacher conference I went to, Sarah sleeping at my house for a month and other little things like that most father's experience. After that I was as involved in her life as I was the other two. I took her to softball games, picked her up from school, helped her do homework, and celebrated special events with her. It was very interesting when the middle daughter, Jayne, came to me and said, "Dad, if you think I'm smart then you should see how smart Sarah is!" I hadn't known Jayne was smart, but it surprised me that one sibling would brag about another to their father.

Sarah (15) and Lindsey (22)

The oldest went off to college when Sarah was 11 and the middle when off to college when Sarah was still in middle school so Sarah was with me one on one since then. I stayed very involved in her life even though she didn't live with me. She and I went on many trips around California together. She spent many nights at my house. She stayed very close to her mom and sisters, but she and I had a special bond. Everyone that knows me knows I talk about Sarah a lot. They know about the other two daughters, but they hear more about Sarah and I doing things together. (here are the tears again) We even share tears together!

16th birthday

I once took all three girls to a movie and Sarah sat next to me. Sarah knows how much I cry in movies, even kid's movies, and during the movie she whispered to me, "Dad, quit crying." I wiped the tears from my eyes and whispered back, "How did you know I was crying in this dark theater?" She giggled and said, "Because I was crying too!" I guess that is when I knew Sarah and I had a special bond. During high school Sarah played volleyball and softball. She was very involved in the school leadership and was always a school elected official. She headed some important positions and even represented her school in Girl's State.

I tried to be there whenever I could. Most of the time she knew I was there, but sometimes she didn't. I wanted to know if she was the same when she didn't know I was around as she was when she knew I was around. She always makes me proud to say she is my daughter. She has been the center of my life for over 10 years and now she is moving away and won't be around so much. I won't desert her and she will always know that I love her and will be there when she needs me. But, she will know she is on her own and I won't be there to make decisions for her and won't know everything she does. She is a good kid and a very nice person. She has her faults, but can correct them when she needs to.

I know she will be successful in college and life. I will always wonder if I could have done something different to help her when she was younger ... but none of that matters or can be changed. Sarah is an individual and Sarah is GREAT! I will be there when she needs me, but only if she asks for my help. My prayers will always be with her and I look forward to see what she will do with her life. Sarah Phillips, I'm proud of you and love you very much!!