I'm sorry ...

"All I Really Need To Know I Learned In Kindergarten"

by Robert Fulghum

Most of what I really need To know about how to live And what to do and how to beI learned in kindergarten. Wisdom was not at the top Of the graduate school mountain, But there in the sandpile at Sunday school. These are the things I learned:
Share everything.
Play fair.
Don't hit people.
Put things back where you found them.
Clean up your own mess.
Don't take things that aren't yours.
Say you're sorry when you hurt somebody.
Wash your hands before you eat.
Flush.
Warm cookies and cold milk are good for you.
Live a balanced life -

Learn some and think some
And draw and paint and sing and dance
And play and work everyday some.
Take a nap every afternoon.
When you go out into the world,
Watch out for traffic,
Hold hands and stick together.
Be aware of wonder. 

I used this poem to talk about taking a break for things and as I read it I wanted to talk about other things in this poem. I really like the simplicity of the poem and sometimes it really talks to me.

  I totally agree that I need to say I'm sorry when I hurt someone. One problem is I don't always know when I hurt someone. I don't think I often want to hurt someone, but it often happens without me even realizing it ever happened. I once taught in a school that had a motto of, "Sticks and Stones Can Break My Bones, But Words Can Break My Heart". I am sure I have often hurt people without meaning to. I am not a bad person. I do not do evil things to people because I want to hurt them. Sometimes I want to hurt someone because I really don't like them and sometimes it is to protect myself.

Sometimes I feel like I should wear a big "I'm Sorry" sign on my forehead because it often feels like I'm hurting someone when I don't mean to. After having kids I realize I should say I'm sorry to my mom for not keeping in touch with her more as I after I graduated and went overseas. After having kids and having them move away I understand how a short phone call would be nice to hear from them on a periodic basis. I went for many months never having contact with my parents. I'm sorry Mom. I guess I would also like to apologize to the girls in high school that I flirted with and they thought I was interested in and then I didn't follow up.

 I want to apologize to my kids for not being a better father. There are many things I did wrong and many things I didn't do that I should have. I can't go through life regretting what I did or didn't do, all I can do is try to improve myself in the future. Apologizing doesn't mean I can change what has happened in the past, and it does mean I will try to improve the future. I guess I should also apologize to my brother for not visiting him more often. There is no way he can understand the pain I have when I leave his room and the tears I shed because I feel so helpless.

 As I write this I realize I would list hundreds of people I know have hurt because of me. My sisters, my teachers, my students, my friends, and probably many people I have met through the years. I can't apologize individually to every I have hurt over my life, but I can try to let everyone know I will try to do better. As I get older I try not to be a bad person and try to do more good than bad.