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Sunday, October 27, 2013

My heart is gone!

Sometimes I think I'm too busy. I work full time as an educational consultant for the Army National Guard. I have a multitude of responsiblities in that job and I try to like it. It never does any good to complain about a job so I find the positive things about the job. It is getting better and I'm starting to do better in the job and enjoy it better all the time. I am a secret shopper and take jobs when I can. I enjoy filling in my time so I have something to do rather than sit home alone with my cats. On the weekends I teach a certification class to people that want to teach English overseas.
I usually like that job and usually feel I do a good job preparing my students. For the past few months I have no been teaching with as much passion as I have in the past. I am going through the motions and doing what I have always done, but I don't care as much as I have. I got really attached to my classes this summer that I compare my recent classes to that one and I don't feel I do as well. I keep looking for the students that I have had before and I don't see them. I am thinking about quitting my weekend job because I can't provide my students with 110% of my soul. I feel like I should give more.
In the past I have liked this job, but I don't feel I am excited about it and therefore how can I excite my students about it? I need my passion back, I need my confidence back, I need to know I am doing the best job I can as their teacher. I don't want to waste their time. I don't want to go through the motions without emotions. I have 2 more months of classes lined up and then I will take a one month vacation to rest. After that month I will probably not return to my teaching job. When my class finished today I was very sure that I would get bad teacher evaluations from this class. I know if I don't enjoy giving the class the students won't be happy in the class.

1 comment:

  1. If I was in US, I might help you! Take it easy and stay happy!

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