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Saturday, March 15, 2014

R.I.P. Lou

Yesterday I was taking a nap in my bedroom around 3pm and I heard a scream outside. I didn't think anything of it since I have a large apartment complex behind me and I often hear noises from there. This scream didn't stop for 2 or 3 minutes so I looked out my window and I saw a woman standing on the porch next to me screaming. I started to listen to what she was screaming and I realized she was saying her brother was dead. I put on my shoes and walked to her.
As I walked up she was talking on the phone, it sounded like she was calling 911 and explaining what was going on. She said she had been trying to call her brother for the last 4 days and couldn't get a hold of him so she came over to investigate. She went inside, the door was wide open, and found Lou on the floor of the hallway and he was dead. She said his skin was cold, very cold. She then said she didn't try to keep him warm because he was dead. She started to get very frustrated on the phone and it sounded like the person on the other end kept questioning if she was sure he was dead.
She finally hung up and I just walked up to hug her. I didn't know what to say. I suggested she come to my house and wait for the police or fire or ambulance, whatever would be coming. As we got to my door the police and paramedics drove up. She talked to them to explain what happened and they went into the house next door and I brought her into my house and had her sit down. She asked me to call her sister and then daughter. I called them both and explained what was going on and asked the daughter to come. Her brother called a few minutes later and asked me some questions.
How do you break this kind of news to relatives of people you don't really know? How do you tell a sibling that their brother has died and found by his sister? I can't answer that, I don't know. I know I am too blunt and there is a better way than just telling them what happened, but I am me. All I can do is the best I know, I know I would want to know why a stranger called as soon as possible rather than have them try to break me the news slowly. I would think the worse that is possible as they were trying to ease into the reason they called. So I just told them what had happened and told them my phone number and asked them to call when they needed more information.
I also didn't know if I should sit in the living room with the sister or if I should give her some time to grieve alone. When I had people to call I went outside with the door open so I could talk to the person alone and answer their questions without having the sister hear it over and over. I also called Lou's best friend since 1961. I had seen him next door often so I felt I knew him. He came over. The daughter from Santa Cruz, about 40 minutes away. As they were talking I was handling a business phone call and talking to the police. The coroner investigator came and checked out the scene. The police asked the sister some questions and took some pictures.
When I had nothing to do I got the people in my house, the sister and her daughter and the best friend, some water and told them I would be in my room if they needed anything and went back into my room. After about 30 minutes to an hour I heard some loud voices, the police, and went to the living room. The coroner was taking the body away in a white unmarked van and the police were leaving. The friend went into Lou's house and got the guns, about 6, that he had in his living room. They were the friends guns that Lou was keeping since the friend had roommates and he didn't' want the guns around them.
I told them if they ever needed me to check on something for them to call me or email me and they gave me a key. I will clean up outside as much as I can over the next few days. The daughter had her mother drive over to her house after we determined she was ok to drive. When they left I started to cry. I couldn't while they were here so I was able to grieve after they left. I have lived here for over 10 years and have always told people I have the BEST neighbors. On one side is an older Vietnamese couple that is always very helpful to me even though they don't speak English well.
On the other side is Lou. He and I have always been close since we are both older single men. He would always be helpful when I needed something. I would often borrow his ladder to get on top of my house. He would sit outside on summer evenings and listen to the Giants game and have a beer, I would miss that when he wasn't out there some evenings. He had to quit his job a few years ago when he had high blood pressure and they wouldn't let him drive a truck any more. He grew marijuana outside his door once  because he had a medical card.
A few years ago he got in an accident and was convicted of DUI and then he didn't have a car any more and has been riding a bicycle. He had a Harley Davidson motorcycle and would push it out to the street rather than start it up right outside my window so it wasn't too loud for me, and would turn it off and coast it into his driveway for the same reason. He hasn't ridden it since the DUI. For the last couple of years I would see him outside his door with a circular saw and when I asked him what he was doing he told me he was making sling shots and then go practice with them till they broke then he would make another.
He was a great guy and I will really miss him as my neighbor. Our homes are so close together that I must get along with my neighbor. I will grieve for Lou for a long time.








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