My brother's last days

My brother passed away 2 weeks ago. I want to thank everyone that sent him a card on his 60th birthday in April. My mom came up with the idea of  having 60 cards delivered to him and I went on Facebook and asked everyone to send him a card. When I went to see him on his birthday he had received more that 60 cards, including one from President Obama. Those cards stayed up over his bed for a long time. I asked him if he wanted me to take them down several times and he always smiled and said no. I could see in the twinkle in his eye that all those cards were something that he was proud about.

Last January Mark was seriously ill and sent to the hospital. At that time he was put on a respirator and we thought he would pass away. He didn't. Since then, every day we were surprised Mark survived another day. He was getting better. He was getting stronger and the nursing home periodically took him outside and found ways to keep him busy. A few months ago I asked people if he should be taken off Hospice since he was getting better and we often had discussions about it.

Mark had been in a nursing home for the last 12 years. I can't imagine what I would do if that had happened to me :(. On Monday, December 16, I was driving to Sacramento to visit some offices and then I would stay the night then work in a school the next morning and then drive 5 hours north and stay the night in Yreka and then work in a should up there for a couple of hours and then return. On my drive to Sacramento I got a call from Hospice telling me Mark had not woken up that morning. I called my mom, sister, and his kids to tell them what I was told and told them I would go visit him that afternoon.

When I got to the nursing home that afternoon I asked questions to see what was going on and all anyone knew was he didn't wake up and was unconscious. I talked to the people I have talked to over the past years and they were not working in Mark's ward any more and didn't know what was going on so I told them they needed to go say goodbye. They all were suddenly concerned and went to go find out more information. I sat in his room for 2 hours that afternoon and just watched his chest rise and fall as he slept. He gasped for air as he was breathing and had oxygen supplied to him.

Josephine would often stop in and read to Mark or just talk.

I came back on Tuesday around noon before my long drive up north. He was still in the same condition as the day before. I took a few minutes alone with him and said goodbye. I cried a little thinking this was the last time I would see him alive. I got to Yreka around 5:45 and signed into my hotel and got a call from the hospital at 5:45 and they told me Mark had passed away. I called everyone, which was the hardest thing to do and then went out for a walk. It was so cold that I couldn't walk much and then went out for dinner.

The next day I was supposed to work until 1:30pm, but I let the school know I could only do half of the students I had to meet and drove down to Sacramento to sign some paperwork and get all of Mark's stuff out of his room. Some of the residents hadn't heard of his death until that morning. One woman that often visited him and just read to him or just had conversations hadn't heard about his passing away until she had come in that morning to visit him and his bed was empty. Rest In Peace big brother, you will be missed!!

Christmas Music

We usually complain that stores start getting us in the Christmas Spirit too early. Right after Halloween they start decorating stores for Christmas and playing Christmas music and wanting us to start shopping early. Today is December 22, 2 more shopping days left, and I am listening to music in a store that reminds me more of Valentine's Day than Christmas! What happened to Christmas? We all want to be so politically correct and not offend anyone that we forget we have a holiday at all.

Christmas used to be a big deal and it seems to be less and less every year. Houses don't decorate as much, stores try to sell things without really wanting to say why we should buy and exchange gifts, music is more generic and less Christmas oriented. Maybe I just don't see it any more since I am not around kids as much, but I think something is changing and I don't like it. Many people are debating whether we should say Merry Christmas or Happy Holidays and instead we say neither. If I went to Korea and they didn't wish me a Happy Chusok I would be offended.

If I went to Ireland and people didn't celebrate St. Patrick's Day around me I would be offended. If I was Moslem and came to America and my Christian friends didn't wish me a Merry Christmas I would be offended. I would be offended if they got upset that I didn't celebrate Christmas, but I wouldn't mind that they did. People try to be so politically correct that they forget how to be morally and normally correct. This is one reason I don't like living in California, or specifically the Bay Area, and people try to figure out what others want rather than state what they want.

Come on, play the Christmas music, wish people Merry Christmas, drink egg nog and wear Santa Hats! Be American and proud we have certain holidays rather than worry who you might offend. No one will be offended unless they are politically and morally incorrect. People should be themselves rather than try to fit into a mold that gets moldy!!

Sarah is growing up!!

My youngest daughter went to her Winter Ball tonight. I went and took pictures of her and her friends before they went out to dinner. This is something they do before every formal dance. I have never been able to take pictures before and it felt good to be able to be there. I like seeing Sarah around her friends. She is really very strong and takes charge. I am very proud of her and the way she has grown up. Sarah will be successful in anything she wants to do in the future. I'm also finding out she will be very beautiful in her future also.

I also met the guy with the broken nose today. I liked him and he was a very nice guy. He had a scrape on the bridge of her nose, but it didn't look to bad. He was very friendly to everyone and a gentleman. I would be happy if Sarah saw him again, but I'm not sure if she will want. My youngest daughter is a beautiful young lady and everyone around her know what a valuable treasure she is! I can't say it enough, I love you Sarah!!

Why are boys so stupid?

My youngest daughter asked a boy from another school to go to the Winter Ball with her. The guy seems like a nice guy and I am happy she is going with him. She called me up last week and told me her date had broken his nose in a wrestling match. I asked if he had won the match and she said yes. She then asked me why boys are so stupid! I asked her what she meant. She said after he broke his nose he was in 3 more wrestling matches. She was wondering why a boy wouldn't realize that if he continued to wrestle his nose might get worse. I asked her if she was playing a softball game and got hit by a pitch if she would continue playing.

She said of course she would and I asked her how it would be different than her friend and his nose. She said she still didn't understand boys, and I said that was ok since boys didn't understand her either!

A night in SF

Last night I got a free room in the Grand Hyatt in San Francisco. This confirmed to me what I had a suspicion about otherwise, sunrise between two buildings is not as amazing as sunrise between two trees! I had a very nice time. I was doing secret shopping for Hyatt and they gave me a free room in addition they asked me to go to their bar, restaurant, and athletic room They also asked me to have valet parking, have the bellman carry my bags, and have room service. It was a very relaxing time and I felt wonderful and spoiled.

I have always heard people talk about room service and I found out I didn't like it as much as going to the restaurant. Breakfast delivered to my room was $58 for scrambled eggs and sausage with orange juice. The only negative to the evening was I spent it alone. I had wanted to spend time on Union Square during Christmas Time so that was good. I had once asked Sarah to come with me, but she wanted to spend time with her friends. I have a friend that thinks of me as a big brother and I asked her to come with me and her son was sick. So, I was alone.

I had placed an ad on Craigslist to see if a woman would like to have dinner with me at the Grand Hyatt and then go take pictures around town with me. I didn't expect any response from my ad and was surprised when I got an email from a woman that said she wanted to join me. She included three pictures, two that she had taken in Africa and one of her. The pictures were fabulous and the picture of her was beautiful. She was blonde and had a German name. I was very happy to hear from her at first then wasn't sure if I wanted to meet her.

She and I traded some emails and I had Googled her name and found out she was a financial adviser and travels around the world for her job. I stated doubting myself in whether I was good enough for this woman. I then started wondering what was going through my mind. One thing I tell my students is to have confidence in themselves.No one wants a teacher that doesn't have confidence in themselves.

Affordable Care Act (Obamacare)

I'm still trying to figure out where they get the name for the Affordable Care Act. It hasn't directly affected me yet, but it will next year when companies are required to fall under it for their employees. At first I was concerned because the national government was going to require everyone to buy health care insurance. Then I didn't think it would really affect people because they could pay around $90 not to do that. Then I was concerned because people's present health insurance was being discontinued and people were losing their insurance. I was first made aware of this when my daughter came home from the doctor and they told her our insurance was being discontinued in January. I was reassured that wasn't going to happen by my company. What I don't understand about the new insurance law is that premiums for most people will be going up, almost doubling. I don't understand how that falls under the affordable care act. Then I found out that deductibles will be going up, sometimes up to $4000 before the insurance kicks in. I don't understand how that falls under the affordable care act. People praise it because it allows children to be under their parents plans until they are 26, but the way the country is supposed to be paying for the people that can't afford health care is to have the young pay into the system and not get sick as much. But, if they are covered by their parent's insurance then they don't need to pay into the system. I still don't understand how that is affordable. I have been a small business owner and was without health insurance until my kids were born, and then I did substituting work so I could come under their health insurance plan. I don't know what I would do now. I couldn't afford the price of the insurance plus the deductible, but I could afford the $90 for not having insurance. I get frustanted that many people that support the new law are under 30 and have decided that paying $90 is much better than paying $500 a month plus $4000 deductable. It is like the old catastrophic insurance that used to be cheap and people got with a high deductable in case they got into real problems. THIS IS CRAZY! It isn't affordable.
President Obama will b remembered for his changes to the health care system of the nation. I guess that will not be a good legacy. I'm just glad he is president now because if anyone else was president they would be taking the blame for all the problems and President Obama can't blame anyone but himself.

SNOW!

Yesterday I started in Fresno, CA and worked in a school there. I was finished at 10 in the morning and had nothing to do until 8am the next morning in Modesto, CA. I went over to the school district to talk to someone there and then I really had nothing to do. I had been to Summerville High a few months ago and told a teacher I would try to get them a National Guard camouflaged backpack so I thought I would drive out there and drop it off since I had it in my car. It was a 3 hour drive round trip and then I would end up in Modesto where I was staying in a motel.

Fresno is east of Yosemite and Summerville High is north, so I sort of drove around the north west of that National Park. I drove through a lot of farm land and small towns. After driving about an hour I started seeing snow on the side of the road so I got out and took pictures. More and more snow was on the side of the road and when I finally got to Summerville High there was about 6 inches on the ground. As I was walking to the office I passed a student and made a comment about the snow. He said this wasn't bad and last weekend was a lot worse.

After I got finished at the office I drove to Modesto.
Where I started and ended was cold, but no snow. Where the snow was it was not too cold, only 40 degrees. I have always liked snow. I like seeing it out the window as I am in  warm house drinking hot cocoa and have a warm fire going. I don't like having to go out and shovel it off the car and drive way. I don't like driving in it and losing control as I drive. I don't like how cold my hands get as I try to scrape it off the windshield.

I have friends that live in Montana and have to go to their roof and shovel the snow off their house so it doesn't get so heavy the roof caves in, I wouldn't like that either. I thought yesterday was the perfect balance, visit snow and then leave it behind!
I have lived in snow before. I have lived in Germany where the snow got so high you shoveled out the front door and up to the snow level. I have lived in Alabama where it doesn't snow very often, but they have freezing rain which is worse, 6 inches of ice on my car which I take off with a hammer. I have lived in parts of California where it snows every 10 years and people go crazy when it snows. I have also lived in

Korea where it is so cold that people wear long underwear for 6 months of the year, the other months they are sweating like dogs :).
Living in snow isn't so bad ... it is slush I don't like. When it first falls it is pretty, but after it starts to thaw and turn to water, then it gets dirty and muddy. I don't like slush!! I will say it one more time, I DON'T LIKE SLUSH!!

My December class

This is it, the final class of the year. I have taught a total of 10 classes this year, I didn't teach in March and April this year. I am enjoying the class so far, this is the first day of class. There are only 6 students in this class, 4 women and 2 men. Half of the women have the same name, Jen, so it should be easy for me to remember the names. 3 are older, one is planning on quitting her job in 4 years and then teach overseas and she will tutor or do volunteer work until then so she can have some TESL experience.

One will be finishing up a contract in about 6 months then will go to Turkey. The other older student will travel in several countries in South East Asia and teach or do volunteer work. I admire all 3 since they will seriously go overseas. Two are recent college graduates, one graduated in June and the other will graduate in 2 weeks and both would like to go to Korea or Thailand to teach in the next few months. The sixth student has a job he doesn't like and wants to go to Korea or South America to teach since in wants to get out of his job.

I will take next month off so I can travel with my mother and sisters and then I am scheduled to teach in San Francisco in February. I will make a decision by the end of this class, 2 more weekends, whether I will do the class in February or just quit teaching these classes. I got in trouble again last week for being over zealous in helping my students because a student in my August class called the company to complain that I had tried to help her with her test and I didn't get all of HER answers correct.
Grrrrrrr, I won't be helping any of my students in the future with the additional course they are allowed to take for free. I have made 2 changes this month to my class which I hope helps improve my students' marketability. I will let you know how it works out. I will also let you know if I will keep teaching. It would be weird not to have any classes either teaching ESL or TESL certification at all. I don't know what I will do with myself. Where will my life lead me to next?

Best Partner

House on the coast

When I used to teach in Korea there was a page we used that just listed many questions and the students were supposed to ask each other the question and then discuss their answers. One question was what would you do if you were invisible for a day, another was what would you do if you had the power of God, and another question was would you rather marry a person that loves you or love the person you marry. Which is more important, to love or be loved? I was glad I never had to answer these questions because I would not know how to answer.

Pelican in Monterey

I have often thought of this question. Before I was married I always thought I could be married to anyone. I thought that both people worked to make harmony in the marriage. The I found out harmony was really what I wanted. I loved my wife very much, but I wasn't sure she married me because she loved me. I always thought she had other reasons to marry besides love. She was Korean and I came up with the idea that Koreans marry because they calculate things and if it is best they marry. That works well for their society, but not in ours. It is hard to explain that exactly, so I won't try.

I am still pulled between the balance of loving the person I'm with or being loved by her. You may say that the love should be equal, but I really don't think that is possible. I have a lot of love when I am really in love. I have enough for both of us if she can give me back a little. If she puts the relationship as a priority, then I can smother her with love. The problem is a lot of people don't want to be smothered and it scares them away. I have also been with girls that were overly passionate towards me and didn't care if I was in love with them.

One lady would come over to my house when I wasn't home and cleaned each room day by day until my house was cleaner than it had ever been before. I really liked having her around and enjoyed when we were together, then she got jealous because I had to stay an extra night while I was on the road and she ran away crying. In fact that often happens in my job and I was upset that I had to stay an extra night.I have dated some women lately that were the opposite. They wanted more from me than I wanted to give them. They took advantage of my kindness and wanted more and more. They knew I couldn't easily say no.

I keep looking, for the woman that loves me from the bottom of her heart and whom I love totally. Until then I will keep trying to figure out which is more important to me. What about you?

Avenue of the Giants

I drove home today. This time there were no detours so I could drive the route I wanted and take pictures. When I first had my job I didn't take detours and enjoy the drive, I just went from start to finish as quickly as I could. This drive could have taken 5.5 hours, but instead it took 7.5 hours. I had nothing to do when I got back and I know if I drive without taking breaks my body will hurt for a long time so I take small breaks and enjoy the drive. This drive I could have driven straight down US 101 or I could take a paralell road called Avenue of the Giants.

The "Giants" are redwood trees and the "Avenue" is a 20 mile road that drives through the redwoods in Humboldt County, California. This small two lane road curves and winds in the forest surrounded by huge trees. It isn't very busy since it doesn't really go anywhere except to small towns of less than 300 people so the only cars on the roads are tourists that want to drive through the redwoods. I stopped periodically and took pictures and every time I stopped I was amazed at how quiet everything was. Even though no one else was around I didn't want to make any noise.

When I opened my door the buzzer sounded since I didn't take out my key and I cringed a little because I didn't like making any unnecessary noise. I also didn't slam my door for the same reason. I enjoyed this drive and felt very blessed for being able to take this route. I have been here once before, but it was cloudy and misty. This time it was beautiful blue skies and perfect temperature. Every time I drive here, or think of driving this road I think of the lyrics for "This Land is Your Land".

This land is your land This land is my land
From California to the New York island;
From the red wood forest to the Gulf Stream    waters
This land was made for you and Me.

As I was walking that ribbon of highway,
I saw above me that endless skyway:
I saw below me that golden valley:
This land was made for you and me.

California has so much to offer and I very happy to live here!

Dark and Lonely Highway

Where I was supposed to go, 5 hours and 300 miles

Today I was supposed to be traveling all day. That was pretty much all I was doing, and gentle 5 hour, 300 mile, drive through some of the most beautiful parts of California. I was going to stop and take tons of pictures in the redwoods. This is the trip I wanted to take a very special person in September, but we couldn't. So, I was going to take the pictures to show her what I wanted to show her. I left around 10 and was going to get there at 3. I thought I would make one stop on the way so I stopped off at an office I work with. No problem, I stayed there for 30 minutes and then took off towards San Francisco and it was no stress since I was there around 11. Then I got a call that changed everything! One man got tied up and couldn't make his appointment so he asked me to help him out. He needed me to make a "little" detour, 150 miles, and I could barely get there if I left then. I made a turn and started going east instead of north. I drove to the school he asked me to go and got there 5 minutes before I was supposed to meet the students.

Where I DID go today, 9 hours and 450 miles

I got to the school and instead of meeting with 25 students only 3 showed up, and they were in a hurry. Because I had thought I was only driving today I was wearing jeans so after the call I had to change into my uniform of slacks, shirt and tie. After the school I got back on the road and now the GPS told me I would be getting to my destination around 7. I got to Clear Lake and the sun was going down. I put my tennis shoes back on and drove on. I stopped for gas and got a coke and proceeded. My no stress day was turning into BIG stress. As I drove I was getting phone calls, using my blue tooth, about problems in 2 other schools tomorrow and Wednesday. I was trying to handle those problems as I navigated through the hills and narrow roads that I had to go through because of the detour. After the sun went down I was driving on the freeway which turned into one lane each way and no lights and no towns for 50 or 60 miles. Total darkness plus a blanket of fog, then it started to sprinkle a little so the road was a little wet.

I did get to my destination safely. An hour and a half later my heart is still pounding and my hands are shaking. I will go out for a little exercise after I finish writing this so I can sleep tonight. Tomorrow I am hoping for my stressless day and many pictures. I'm sure you will read about it!

Old Neighborhood

Carswell St., our house was just pass the curve

Sometimes you can't go home because the home is no longer there. My father was in the Army when I was younger and we moved around a lot. The last place we lived was Fort Ord, California which was on the Monterey Bay. we lived at 108 Carswell. Now that house has a caved in roof and the street isn't even passable. You can't drive even get to the house any more. The whole neighborhood has been abandoned for about 20 years. Even if I wanted to go home I couldn't go back to this home. We lived there when I was in 5th grade grade until I was in 9th grade.

Reindollar Ave, Marina

When I was in high school my parents bought a house in Marina. We had a big family so they bought a house with 5 bedrooms. Even though at street level it looked like it was only one story, it had a second story that went down the slope of the hill. I lived downstairs and everyone else lived upstairs. I had my own exit out of the house so no one really knew if I was home or not. I liked living in that house. I watched the neighborhood grow up around me. The man across the street didn't like how his yard sloped so steeply that he put up a wall and leveled his yard. My dad did the same kind of thing on the side of our house.

The building my father worked in is abandoned

While we lived in these locations my father went to the Vietnam war and returned. He got our of the military a few years after that and then went worked in Saudi Arabia while I was in college. When he was there my mother moved to Del Rey Oaks where she lived with my father after they returned. We lived in many houses when I was growing up. Each house was my home when I lived in it. Those houses are all different now, some are abandoned, some have different occupants, and some have been changed so much you couldn't recognize them at all.

Lots of ice plant in the area!

Old neighborhoods are more important than old houses. The people in those neighborhoods are also more important than the houses!

Going Home

Looks like just a grove of trees

Grove of Butterfly Trees in Pacific Grove

Some people say you can never return home. I don't agree with that. Home will always be there, it just depends what you consider home. The house you grew up in may have changed. The people you grew up with may have changed. The place you think of home won't change. I grew up on the Monterey Peninsula in California. When I grew up there things were pretty uneventful, maybe a little boring. When I go back to visit I look at it in the eyes of an adult rather than a child and I'm pretty impressed with where I grew up. I feel good just being in the familiar surroundings and knowing exactly where everything is. The house I stay in is different, the people I knew then have moved on, but home is still home. I imagine it is the same for my mother when she goes back to where she grew up. Even after 70 years the place feels familiar. Home is home, always.
After Thanksgiving I didn't have anything else to do. The Friday I just puttered around the house finishing the cleaning and putting everything away. I needed to do something.

The endless sounds of the ocean

I decided to drive to my mom's house in Monterey when I work up on Saturday. I had no real reason to go since my mom is not there and I was reasonably comfortable at home, but I just wanted to get out and do something. I also have a new camera I wanted to give a workout. I had a package I needed to return so I did that and hit the road. Before I left I checked to see if there was any secret shopping I could do while I was there. I found a few and signed up for them and threw some stuff in a bag and left.

My first stop was in Salinas where I did a secret shop at Subway. I like subway and this sounded like a "shop" I would enjoy. It was at a truck stop and I didn't enjoy it. The experience wasn't so good, but the sandwich was good, and it was paid for by the company! The next thing I really wanted to do was visit the butterfly trees. It was funny that I had always heard about these while I was growing up and there is a children's book by Beverly Cleary about this area, but I had never been to them until I had kids of my own. I took my kids once and I decided to visit by myself and my new camera.

There were about 50 people there and I was surprised at home much noise everyone was making. The grove of trees the butterflies stay in always surprises me since you can't really notice the butterflies unless you know what you are looking for. There were not as many as the last time I visited, but since I knew what I was looking for I spotted them easily and got some good shots. After about 30 minutes I could feel the pull of the ocean. I like visiting the ocean. That is truly where home is.

I drove down to the ocean, about a half a mile. I went to the location where Monterey Bay ends and the ocean begins. The whales are migrating so many people come here to look for whales, but I didn't care about those. All you can see if a spurt of white mist rising from the ocean any way. I just wanted the experience of seeing the waves pound the coast. The tide was far out so I was able to walk out into the tide pools. It is fun to see what you can discover in tide pools. My memories go back to 5th grade when my teacher emphasized that aspect.

I bounded out onto the rocks covered in seaweed and took a bunch of pictures. One thing I like about digital cameras is you don't have to pay for developing and can take as many pictures as you want and then don't feel guilty deleting the ones you don't like or are copies of what was taken before. There is a lot of life where the waves pound the rocks and it is a great place to just relax. There were a few people, but not many which allowed the feeling of solitude. I spend an hour just jumping around the rocks and taking pictures.

The next stop was Fisherman's Warf. This is the one stop I always have to make while home. Just wandering the warf makes me feel warm inside. I like sharing this experience with friends, but alone it is just as enjoyable to me. When I was in high school and college I would often go to the warf alone and just hang out. It would be fun to be around all the people from all over the world. There were lots of jelly fish in the ocean and I took lots of pictures of them. When people swim in this water I always think they are crazy because it is so cold, but others think they are crazy because there are so many jelly fish.

Calm Water

The weather was perfect, the sun was beautiful and the water was relatively calm. The big difference between the water in the ocean and the water in the bay is the relative calmness in the bay. Ocean waves can get huge and bay waves only get big. I took a lot of pictures there too and then went to visit my mom's house to get settled in. In the evening I did my secret shopping. I have done Jack in the Box "shops" before and it is usually because I have to eat any way. This time I decided I wanted to make some money.

There are 3 Jack in the Box locations in the Monterey area so I decided to do all three since it was the last day to do them and the company really was desperate for someone. They were reimbursing me for the meal plus paying $25 for each location. I had to visit them between 9:30 pm and midnight so I went to the first one in Del Rey Oaks at 9:30. I ordered a box dinner and ate it then evaluated the restrooms then went through the drive thru for 2 tacos then drove to the one in Seaside and did the same thing, including the drive thru. I then did the location in Monterey.

Pelican gliding over the bay

By the third restaurant I just sampled the food and threw most of it away. There were some guys there that were pooling their money together for some tacos so I was going to offer them the food before I threw it away, but that seemed a little weird. I ended up with six tacos in bags in my car which I threw away when I left. I figured those little jobs would pay for gas for my trip and made my last minute excursion worth it. Sunday I will do one more secret shop at a Planet Fitness location to work off the food I ate the night before!

Sea lion staying warm

As I look at the pictures I took yesterday I am impressed with myself. I have probably taken the same pictures a dozen times and I can't quit loving my pictures. I have a few hanging on my walls, but it is always hard trying to figure out which ones I should print and frame. I want to make them poster size and get a large frame for them. Then when I want to change it just print a new poster size picture and put the new one in the frame. A few years ago I started using my own pictures as the background on my computer desktop. I love it and so does everyone that sees my computer. If you would like some of my favorite for your desktop let me know!