Best Partner

House on the coast

When I used to teach in Korea there was a page we used that just listed many questions and the students were supposed to ask each other the question and then discuss their answers. One question was what would you do if you were invisible for a day, another was what would you do if you had the power of God, and another question was would you rather marry a person that loves you or love the person you marry. Which is more important, to love or be loved? I was glad I never had to answer these questions because I would not know how to answer.

Pelican in Monterey

I have often thought of this question. Before I was married I always thought I could be married to anyone. I thought that both people worked to make harmony in the marriage. The I found out harmony was really what I wanted. I loved my wife very much, but I wasn't sure she married me because she loved me. I always thought she had other reasons to marry besides love. She was Korean and I came up with the idea that Koreans marry because they calculate things and if it is best they marry. That works well for their society, but not in ours. It is hard to explain that exactly, so I won't try.

I am still pulled between the balance of loving the person I'm with or being loved by her. You may say that the love should be equal, but I really don't think that is possible. I have a lot of love when I am really in love. I have enough for both of us if she can give me back a little. If she puts the relationship as a priority, then I can smother her with love. The problem is a lot of people don't want to be smothered and it scares them away. I have also been with girls that were overly passionate towards me and didn't care if I was in love with them.

One lady would come over to my house when I wasn't home and cleaned each room day by day until my house was cleaner than it had ever been before. I really liked having her around and enjoyed when we were together, then she got jealous because I had to stay an extra night while I was on the road and she ran away crying. In fact that often happens in my job and I was upset that I had to stay an extra night.I have dated some women lately that were the opposite. They wanted more from me than I wanted to give them. They took advantage of my kindness and wanted more and more. They knew I couldn't easily say no.

I keep looking, for the woman that loves me from the bottom of her heart and whom I love totally. Until then I will keep trying to figure out which is more important to me. What about you?