Easy to get in trouble

Sometimes I get into trouble in the most innocent situations. Yesterday I worked in a school that I have been visiting for 4 years. This school has over 600 students I need to work with. I work with four classes a day for 7 days in a two week period. It feels like a marathon when I work there. I have a very good relationship with the staff and faculty in the school. They specifically request I help their students each year. During November I am like a part of their staff. One lady asked me to tutor her son to help him pass the test he has to take to join the military.

This school is an occupational center that teaches different job skills. The first period the students studied how to be veterinary assistants and the second period were future medical assistants. In the afternoon the same teachers and occupations, but different students. In the second period I was asking students questions. I called on one girl and didn't know her name so I called on "the girl with glasses". Seeing the look in her eyes she was a little upset I identified her as the one wearing glasses. After all the students were working on their own I went to talk to her and apologized for identifying her that way.

She asked me why I identified her as wearing glasses. I laughed and asked her how else she would like to be identified. She was waring bright red lipstick and I asked if she would rather be identified that way. She said anything other than glasses would be better. I asked what other way I could identify her, she was the only black girl, she had a strange haircut with the sides shaved short and the rest piled on top, what did she think was better than glasses? She said I should see her in her normal clothes rather than medical "scrubs" because she always wore loud clothes.

I finished the class and didn't think anything more about the conversation. When I came back to the school after lunch for the third and fourth classes I was told that the girl complained that I only identified her as being black. She said I made her feel bad because I couldn't see past her race and criticized her because of her race. I stood there with my mouth open. The lady talking to me about it and the teacher were both there and told me they thought I handled it perfectly. The couldn't understand why the girl was so upset. She had told them it wouldn't be so bad if I wasn't a white man.

I don't understand why that isn't racist, should I be offended that she identifies me as a white man when she is upset I identify her as a black girl (which I didn't know I had done). I guess I shouldn't call on anyone in any class so I don't offend them. I can't win with some people ...

Many years ago I worked in an adult school teaching ESL. I did that for 9 years and I was a fairly good teacher. While teaching I found out that it was easy to get in trouble there too. I started to realize the people I tried to help the most were the people that get me in trouble most.

I had all nationalities in my class. One year I had two Palestinians in my class that I often talked to. When I needed help in the class they were the ones that volunteered all the time. I looked at them as friends as well as students. One guy, Ali, came late to class one day. We were doing a standardized test and I had to keep students spaced out, two to a desk. Ali came in and brought a chair to a desk with 2 pretty girls at it and move his chair between them. I asked him not to sit there since we needed to keep the seating at 2 per table. He didn't say anything to me and moved to another table.

The next day my boss called me into her office and told me Ali had complained that I was prejudiced against him for asking him to move. She asked me why I had asked him to move instead of one of the girls. I told her the girls looked a little distressed and were cowering when he sat down. I told her that she had given me the directions to have only two students per table. I asked her how I should have handled it and she said I shouldn't have asked him to move, but asked for a volunteer to sit somewhere else. I was on "probation" for 6 months and counseled on a weekly basis.