Charter Schools

Shenandoah Charter School,

Church in Ione, CA

Today I drove 2.5 hours to a very small school (36 students) and had a class with half of them (15). This charter school is literally next to a regular school, in fact the students take some classes in the regular school. I used to teach in a charter school myself, I taught 4 - 6 grades (20 students) and another teacher had 1-3 (20 students). I can see some advantages to charter schools such as smaller classes and more emphasis on certain aspects of their education, but I don't think it is financially nor educationally sound to have charter schools in most circumstances. Then again, when you go to Oakland and every public school is terrible, it is good to try different ways to get some education included in a school. This charter school was very nice and I could tell that the staff and faculty really cared about their students' education. They had tried to have their school emphasize one thing and found it wasn't really best for their students so they were changing their emphasis. I hope the new idea works, and if it doesn't they identify the problems early and make changes. The biggest problem is we have one shot at a specific child's education and it isn't fair to that child to experiment with him or her for a year. Good luck to this school. I will go to another school on Monday, and a different one on Tuesday. I will tell you about them later. Tomorrow I start a new Oxford Seminars class in San Jose.

New Car!!

My new work car!

Today I picked up a new work car. That is a convenient way to say I am working again. The car I use now is one of the ugliest cars I can imagine, and it is tiny and is very loud. I drive long distances all the time. My normal trip is 3 hours each way. I will drive 3 hours then work for an hour and drive home. A small car is very uncomfortable for me and will really be hard on me physically. But, right now I think this is the most convenient and beautiful car in the world!! The color is perfect, I can't imagine a better color. I drive alone, so isn't it better for the larger cars to be used by the people that must give applicants rides? I am so happy to be able to help others in their missions that just because I have a tiny car is no reason to complain! I have a job, I am not going to complain about anything, especially a car since the fact that I have a car means I have a job!! Tomorrow I will drive an hour to Monterey, Friday I will be driving 3 hours to Placerville, Monday I will be driving 4 hours to Chico, Tuesday I will be driving 2.5 hours to Tracy and then next Thursday I will be driving 5 hours to Redding. I am so happy to be on the road again and I know I will be helping people with their futures! You can look forward to pictures and stories from my travels.

Change is good

Before I cleaned the shed.

After I cleaned the shed.

Today I cleaned the shed, really only half the shed, the other half will wait for later. I knew I was wrong to leave my books out there, but I didn't have room in the house for them. The Shakespeare book from college is gone now, so is the A Day in California and Learn Korean Through English. I found some things that I had forgotten I had, like the hundreds on postcards from around the world (places I have been to). I finally threw away my high school graduation gift from my parents, a suitcase (and had a nostalgia moment  thinking about why they had given me that), I threw out another large suitcase I haven't used in over a decade. I kept the stuff my dad picked up in Korea from 1965 and Viet Nam in 1970. I found out that I have three gas cans, wondering if that is how often I had to buy a gas can when I ran out of gas. I kept the tent I haven't used in over a decade hoping I would use it sometime. I realized that I have ignored most of that stuff for so many years it became unusable and decrepit and I might as well have thrown it out years ago. I realize my weight loss is the same way, I lost weight because I changed how I use my body. I have been ignoring my body, I sit around and do nothing ... I need to change that and do something. My body became unusable and decrepit and I might as well have thrown it out years ago (maybe I just gave up). Now that I have lost that weight I need to find a way to exercise, a sport I enjoy doing, so I don't ignore my body. I am also doing that with my finances since I have been ignoring them for a decade. My financial situation has become unusable and decrepit and it has been unmanageable. I have taken charge of it and decided to change it. I am trying to get it manageable and then I have to find a way to keep it changing. I don't like change, but I know things will change whether I make the change or I ignore and it all changes for the bad.

Halloween

Lindsey at 3

Today is 11/1/11, last night was Halloween Trick or Treat night. The last night I went trick or treating was when we still lived in Fort Ord, so it must have been when I was in high school. I remember I dressed up as a woman, and I looked pretty good! Another memorable Halloween night was when my oldest daughter was born, she wasn't born on October 31, but that is when her mother went into labor. I always leave the house on Oct. 31 because I don't want to be around when the kids trick or treat. We went to the $2 movies and saw Elvira. She was 9 months pregnant and we were just waiting for the baby to come. In the middle of the movie she almost screamed then said she had felt contractions. We left in the middle of the movie and went home. We ended up going to the hospital 5 times in the next 3 days. The nurse would always check and then tell us to go home and come back when it was closer to the time of delivery. Over the 3 days my sister came over and walked with her around the block. My mom came by to see how things were going. My life was on hold for a while, and her's was moving slowly. We talked about how excited we were, and she talked about how scared she was about the delivery. At one point we were in the hospital gift shop and one lady commented that my wife looked at least six months pregnant. After the delivery I can remember driving home, it was only a 5 min drive from the hospital, and thinking I was happy it was over. Then I realized it had just begun!!

Games

Halloween 2011

Last night I went to my monthly poker party. This was a tournament that has been going on for 10 months and last night was the last game of the year. In 10 games I have been last place a couple of times and first place a couple of times. I either do very good or very bad, but it is fun any way it goes. We don't play for much money, $15 is how much we pay each game and then the person that finishes first gets much money, about $50, then less and less until the fifth place. We played 10 games and I came in fourth place. I got $75. Then this afternoon I played Settlers of Catan with the same group of people. (there were 20 in the poker tournament) When I lived overseas people didn't understand why adults played games. In fact, a few years ago I brought some Korean friends of mine to Sarah's softball game on a Saturday afternoon. They asked me why Sarah was playing a game, shouldn't she be studying! They were serious, they see no reason for games. I asked them what adults do for fun and they said, "drink". I asked them if they do anything else, and they said no. When I was in Korea I saw that the mother would often take the kids to the park or to events, and the fathers would go drinking with their friends. I think that has changed these days, at least I hope so. When my kids were younger we would often bring out board games to play; Life, Clue, Flinch, or even card games. I love just spending time with people playing games. There doesn't have to be alcohol involved to have fun, in fact when there is alcohol it sometimes reduces the fun. I think games help bring people together, increases strategy thinking, and is good clean fun.

Friends ...

Kindergarten class in Germany

I stayed home most of today, except when I went out to get stuff for my Halloween costume. I will tell you about that tomorrow. I got a call from the new company that is supposed to hire me, they said I should be on their payroll on Monday, let's hope it happens!! I also got a couple of calls from friends that had read this blog and heard about my job problems and that I was a little down. One girl asked if I had many friends that I could hang out with while I wasn't working. I told her that everyone I knew had a job and had to work during the day. That girl pointed out that she was between jobs and had time, but today she was on her way to see a friend. It made me start to think about friends and what did that really mean and as we get older do we get less friends, well that doesn't make sense. I think the relationship with friends starts to change. As we have children we want to be with friends that have children. As they grow up we have more time to spend with people other than children. How many friends do you have? Is a friend someone you go over to visit? Is a friend someone you can call if your car breaks at the side of the road? Is a friend you see often? Is a friend someone you call when you are feeling "down"? I don't know the answer to those questions. I have different kinds of friends, and I think everyone is my friend, no matter age or anything else. I have many friends, yet I have few friends. It all depends on your definition of friends. I don't really know why I am writing this, except maybe if I write about it I can figure it out. But, the more I write the more confused I am. When we were kids it was so much easier, a friend is someone that allowed you to copy the answers for homework or a test!!

Sometimes I think that a friend is someone that would attend your funeral. Think of all the books, movies, and plays that have the scene where someone is believed to be dead and the person attends or observes their own funeral. I have literally thousands of students that would mourn my death. Some I have not seen for many many years, and some I had in class last week. I wonder if those ex-students are present friends. All the people I have known through the years that I don't keep in touch with any more. The school secretaries I saw every morning, my receptionists that helped me with work over the years, the recruiters that I assist and assist me in my present job. All of them I know I can depend on when I need help, and can depend on me when they need help, in work or their personal life. I guess they are friends, just not close friends. My college friends are probably closer to me than my high school friends which I have just started to get in contact with recently. They would mourn me, and I consider them my friends too. WOW, as I think of it I have tons of friends that all I have to do is reach out to and they would help me. I am glad I am writing this, I realize the hundreds of friends I have. From the guy next door that I say hello to every morning, but don't talk to otherwise, to my college friend that I talk to on the phone once or twice a year and even my old receptionist/secretary that lives far away, but keeps in contact either when she needs a letter of recommendation or just wants to say hi and tell me she is thinking about me. One of the people that called me yesterday was an old girlfriend that I feel really bad about breaking her heart because I would have eventually broken up with her and would rather hurt her a little rather than a lot. Well, this is getting a lot longer than I had though it would. I wrote this over two days because I didn't think I did it justice the first day. Writing it made me feel better about my life and I hope anyone that reads it will realize how many friends they have and find the time to thank them and let them know they are important to them. There is a girl on the internet that I talk to, when she is on line and I am too, that talks about being important to others is a big deal to her. I realized that she is important to me because she is always there when I need to reach out and talk to someone and I told her that. It made her happy to hear it, even though she will never meet me (she works very close to where I live) and it made me happy to make her happy. Everyone should make a list of who would attend their funeral then realize how important they are to other people and then act that way.

Oh, in this picture can you tell which is me? And no, I don't know who the other kids are and we didn't keep in touch. It is my Kindergarten class when I was a kid in Germany.

High School Sports

Tonight I went to go see my daughter's volleyball team. She is the captain of the JV team. I really like to see her play, and I think she is very very good. Last year they didn't win any games, this year they have won almost all their games. My daughter has very good grades and she is also in the school's student council. In addition to that full schedule (including four honor classes) she is on the volleyball and softball teams. I was on the swim team in high school, Jayne, the middle daughter, was on the track team one year, and Lindsey the oldest daughter was on the softball team one year ... but I never realized how much time these sports take out of a student's schedule. She has two games a week where she plays in the JV game from 4:45 to 6:30 and then once a week she needs to stay until the end of the varsity game which can go as late as 9:15. After the game she has to go home and eat and then do homework, of course the day she has to stay late is Thursday and she has at least two tests on Fridays. Softball isn't so bad, but still plays twice a week and practices till 6:00 the other three days. The season is almost over and I am glad she isn't in a winter sport so she can have some time off for school. I don't know if she knows how great I think she is doing!

Feeling down ...

I got up this morning and was going to run ... but I didn't. I was going to go to Monterey to visit my mom, in fact I got all packed ... but I didn't. I was going to go buy parts to fix my daughter's computer ... but I didn't. I don't like when I get in this kind of mood. If I really think of why I am feeling like this it is because I don't like to feel useless. I always like working. Even when I am on vacation I feel guilty and want to keep in contact with work. I haven't had a job, officially, for 4 weeks but I keep in contact with the people I work with and the schools that I have worked with in the past. I do that so I don't feel useless. Tomorrow I will be attending a big meeting that I don't even know if my boss will be attending. If he is there, which he is supposed to, then I am glad he sees that I really care about my job. He probably won't be there, because he doesn't see any importance in this meeting, and I will refuse to represent him. The people that I support don't even know that I am not employed right now, until they need something from me. I need to stay busy, tomorrow after the meeting I will go to the gym, then Sarah's volleyball game (she really is very good) and then I will go to a MeetUp game night and be around people. People say that exercise keeps you from feeling blue, but I wonder which comes first ... feeling good enough to work out, or to work out so you feel good. Sort of like the chicken and the egg thing. I hope everyone that reads this (if anyone does) has a better day than I do.

Unemployed!

Since 30 September I have been unemployed. For a month I have been waiting for a document to be signed in Washington D.C. so I can be hired back to do the same job I have been doing for the past three years. When I was first hired for this job I worked for a company that had a national contract and they had people in many states doing the same work I do, supporting the National Guard recruiters for their state. Under that contract we had to be renewed every year. We didn't know if that contract would be renewed until the last week of the contract. Sometimes we were told the contract wouldn't be renewed, then it was. In March California finally took charge of my position and rather than be part of the national contract they decided to put me under a state wide contract. The reduced the number of people that do my job from three to two, and put us under a contract that was already in place. They modified the contract they had for other people in the state that included the secretaries and put our position on it. The problem was that the contract specifically said we wouldn't drive, so it didn't cover what we were supposed to do. So, all summer I wasn't able to travel, which I should have done a lot this summer. When they changed contracts from national to state contracts I was out of a job for four weeks. I had work I had to do, so I still did it ... hoping I would be paid for it later. I wasn't, but the new contract paid me MUCH more money, because it took into consideration where I lived. For the first time in three years I was paid the same as the people I worked for. In September it was decided to go back to the national contract. I don't know why that decision was made, I wasn't asked, but they made that decision and they had been told by the national contractor that the contract had been approved and I would finish with one contract on Friday, September 29, and be under the new contract the following Monday, October 2. On Friday I was called and told that there was a problem and I wouldn't have a job on Monday, they expected the new contract to be approved within a day or two. After two weeks of not being employed the boss of the new company called me and told me they didn't know when the new contract would be signed and he was going to contact the state and suggest they put us under the old contract because not having a job was not fair to the employees. I realized at that time this was a bigger problem than I had thought, when the company is giving up their chance to make more money by having us work for them then they know they have a big problem. For the last two weeks I have been looking for a new job. I have a problem because I love the job I have been doing in the last three years. It is the ideal job for me and I don't really want to change jobs. I had one interview for tutoring jobs and they were very very excited to have me work with them. I turned down the job because I don't really want to work with young kids any more. I applied for a job in Japan, and I have an interview with that company in a week. It is hard to figure out what kind of job I want in the future. I have decided to take charge of my life and do the things I need to so I can improve my future. I just know I can't stay unemployed for much longer. I have applied for unemployment insurance and hope that can help me find a new job in the near future. I still stay involved in my old job, I went to one school yesterday, another one today and when I am asked for help I give help. Many people in the National Guard don't even know my situation. I need to work, but I'm not getting paid for it! I guess I really would do my job without getting paid, in fact I am doing that.

Writers Block ...

Where does this trail lead to?

I realize I haven't written this whole month. I wonder why I haven't wanted to write. There have been many things I have wanted to write about. I wanted to write about me keeping the weight off, and even lost more. I wanted to write about my daughter being a leader in many parts of her life. I wanted to write about how happy I was when my daughter stayed at my house for three weeks. I wanted to write about me wanting to show my weight loss picture to everyone I meet. I wanted to write about finding a job after graduating for college. I wanted to write about my class in San Francisco class this month and how fun the students were. I wanted to write about not being employed and how bad it makes you feel, even though you understand the reasoning and know you will have a job, the same job, soon. I wanted to write about many things, but haven't because ... well I don't know why. I guess I got out of the habit of writing and need to get back into the habit. Well, this is the first step. Hopefully I can take the second step tomorrow (after I come back from the gym).

Diet Update ... I did it!!

I am now running 2 miles every day or two, with no problems (even though I don't enjoy it and am exhausted when I finish!). I am now 182, starting at 200. I have 3 more pounds till the 20 pounds, but have reached the 15 pounds I was shooting for. I did it and I feel good. I think the best part is others making comments to me that I have lost weight. Some people that haven't seen me for a few months comment that I look better. I have lost weight in my face and my back and luckily my stomach is smaller. I want to wait till I get down to 179 to take the picture again with my daughter. The reason I really started this was a picture I took in June at my daughter's graduation and I didn't like the way I looked. My stomach looked huge and made me realize I need to loose weight. I started doing the elliptical once a day, I increased that to twice a day. I was very careful to eat breakfast every day. I tried to eat small amounts of calories every day. I learned that a good snack/meal was taking a flour tortilla and put on sliced meat and one piece of cheese. The tortilla is 50 calories, the meat is about 150, and the cheese is 50 calories. It tastes pretty good and filling. I drink some water and a lot of diet soda, Diet Dr. Pepper is great :).

Memories are always with you...

I have two health goals these days, the first one is to lose 20 then 25 pounds and get down to a weight I haven't been to since college, 1978. The second goal is to be able to comfortably run 2 miles with the Army unit I work for on September 26th. I am down 15 pounds so far and today I ran next to an Army unit (not with them) and only 1.5 miles. I can and will meet both of my goals!!

Today I met the people I work with on Camp Parks. That is about 30 miles from where I live and I used to work there when I was in the Army Reserves, 1990. I had some time so I drove around the installation and looked at the places I knew before. The buildings I worked in were down, and there was construction in that area. The chapel I used to go to was still there, that is how I knew where the place I used to work was supposed to be. I drove around a little more and then went to the track where I was supposed to meet everyone. I had some time to kill so just sat in my car. At 5pm there was bugle music. Everyone that has ever lived on an Army installation knows what that means. It means you stop what you are doing, get out of your car if you are in one, face the flag, and wait for the flag to go down. As the bugle music was playing I got out of my car and faced the flag and the music kept going but the flag wasn't going down. Seems like they kept some of the tradition, but not all of it. I can remember doing this since I was 5 years old, and I'm sure it was done since I was born, since I was literally born on an Army installation. I can remember when I was young and the kids would stay in the car as my dad stood outside facing the flag. I can remember living in Germany and everyone hurrying to get outside the gates before 5pm. I can remember driving slow so they couldn't hurry out of the gate. I can remember when I lived in Korea in the Army and being the commander and insisting they play the bugle music when the flag came down. It was interesting to me tonight that these things came back to my memory as I was standing there watching the flag NOT go down.

Movies

Dragon in a SF window

I went to the movies today. I saw two movies, Rise of the Planet of the Apes and Change-Up. I was expecting Apes to be good, and it was great, you can always tell if the movie was really great when the audience stands up and applauds at the end. Change-Up is one that I didn't think would be very good, it was an old story line of people changing bodies with someone else and having to live their life. The actors were very very good and I was surprised how good they portrayed the opposite of the characters they usually do. I guess that is what actors are supposed to do! I was pleasantly surprised at how good this one was, I was very happy that I saw it. Both movies were good. What makes a movie good? Some people think a movie is good if the scenery is good, and Apes was definitely that, with the forests and redwood trees. Some people think a movie is good if the acting is good and believable, as I mentioned with Change-Up. I like movies that bring out emotion. Not like "chick flicks" that are about romance and make you happy at the end, I like movies that bring out a variety of emotions. Both of these movies made me laugh, first time in a long time I laughed out loud in a movie theater. Both movies made me cry and feel happy and sad for the characters, I always do when the little daughter says she loves her Daddy. One of the movies gave me suspense and drama and fear, the other gave me touching scenes and family warmth. When you feel like you are really watching life is when I think the movie is good!!

Alone

Morning sunrise in California

I have been divorced for 10 years, and lived alone since then. I have had some relationships since then, but I am worried that I have done things to hurt the relationship myself. I live alone, and I spend most of my time alone. I go dancing on Friday nights alone. When I go dancing I go to the classes for two and a half hours and then hang around for thirty minutes and see if I can get someone to dance with me. I am not as forceful as other men to find a dancing partner and I eventually quietly leave. Today I went to the movies. I saw two movies, Captain America and Cowboys versus Aliens. I sat alone, I enjoy the experience of being around people and watching the movie in a big theater, rather than sit at home and watch a video or watch it on computer. Work for me is long drives and then work for a short time in a school with many people and then long drive alone home. I grew up in a family with five kids, and then I went away to college and hand lots of roommates. After college I was in the Army where I was always around with people and usually the boss. After the Army I was married and had a child, then two children. I taught English in Korea and lived in a house with two, then three kids and taught 8 - 10 hours a day either large classes or one to one. I came back to the USA and taught school and lived with my family, then taught in a training center where I was always around LOTS of people. Then I left the house and lived alone ever since. I have tried to get hobbies where I was around people. At first I worked a lot, 8 - 5 job then 6-9:30 night job. Then I picked up a gig where I worked Saturdays. I was always working, so home where only a place I slept. Then the day job stopped and then I the night job stopped, and the weekend job. Now I am alone, and comfortable with it. I wish I had someone to share my life with, but I have only found one person that fit into my life. That person is gone now, since I found a way to ruin the relationship, like always! I hope I find a way to quit ruining relationships. I want to be with people all the time, not alone all the time!!

My job!

A High School in Paradise, California (the real name of the town)

If you have been reading my blog very much you know that I have a unique job. There are only two people in California that have my job. Me and Troy down in southern California. I am a liaison, or a bridge, between recruiters for the National Guard and the schools (high schools and colleges) in California. If you don't know what the National Guard is then you can think about it as the California Army that is used for natural disasters in the state or if the governor needs a force to help the police. I will write about that some other time. Back to my job! My area is from the Bakersfield area up to the Oregon boarder. Driving distance is from 7 hours north to 4 hours south to 4 hours east and 30 minutes west. Over 880 schools including normal high schools, alternative high schools, continuation high schools, 4 year colleges, community colleges, junior colleges, and trade schools. I visit a variety of schools each week, sometimes I have an appointment and sometimes I don't. My objective when I go to a school is to make friends. Sometimes I go and help them with something they need help with, sometimes I go to make contacts in their faculty or administrative staff or counseling staff. I am often invited to talk to students about career objectives show them how to investigate different jobs they might be interested in or maybe ones that they don't even know about until they look further. I often go to schools that have had the students take the ASVAB test (which is the test you need to take to join the military) and I go to tell the students how to use the test results to gauge their education versus the rest of the country. I can show them how to prepare for SAT tests and show them strengths they possibly didn't know they had. Sometimes it can give students confidence in non-scholastic area that they have as hobbies or study on their own, like working on cars, studying electronics, or mechanical operations. After reviewing the test results I show the students how to use the website, www.asvabprogram.com, to find out  what their interests are and then show them jobs that fit those interests. I love my job! I feel like I make a difference in lives, whether they want to go into the military or just learn more about themselves. I also help recruiters directly, training them to work with schools and sometimes going to schools with them so they know they are not working alone, but we are all part of a team. I really do think that the key to happiness is knowing that you make a difference in others lives and that you are helping make improvements in people's future.

ESL and Confidence!!

Narges, a woman from Iran that was one of my students.

Today I met with a woman from China that wants help with her English. This woman's English is great! If you met her on the road you would imagine she had been in the USA for a long time and had lived predominantly in English no Chinese. She works in a software company in Silicon Valley and has slowly moved up the hierarchy and is now a project manager and deals with teams around the country and around the world. I have been working with ESL people for 20 years. My own kids have English as their Second Language. Sometimes I teach a lower level class and I get an advanced student wanting to join my class. When I ask them why they tell me they want to learn the basics that they didn't learn before. I think a lot of this boils down to confidence. Why do people think their English isn't great when everyone else thinks so? They see that there is a problem, and don't always know exactly what it is. It is like the most beautiful women don't see their beauty, but see their blemishes. People need confidence in themselves, and their abilities. I always admire people that are good at what they do, and aren't  satisfied with where they are at. I think once people get their language at a certain level the whole thing has to do with confidence. I think if you believe you can speak English, then it improves by itself. Why do children speak better English then people from another country that have been here for over 20 years? I think it is because no one told them they can't speak English! So, if you are seeing problems that you have in your English then try to become more confident and happy about your English. Remember to relax and have fun and don't think about your English. When you think about your English you will find problems with it. Try to remember to speak English from your heart and not your head!!

Week 6 ...

An Army soldier at the motorcycle races

... no change this week. I didn't exercise as much last week and ate too much and it showed. I will be tough next week and force myself to loose weight. I thought I would get it done this week, but I stayed the same! DON'T GIVE UP!! It is so easy to stop right now and give up. I want to see if I can stay this weight, but it wouldn't make me happy unless I loose another 8 pounds!!

UPDATE: Last night there was no change, when I weighed myself last night I hadn't lost any weight, this morning I was down 3 pounds, then tonight I was down 2 pounds from last week!!

Bananas and Water!

Showing the American flag at the Rodeo

I didn't go to the gym for 2 days and I have been eating a little too much. I knew I need to do something drastic today, so I decided not to eat, only drink water. Some people fast, so I decided to do the same thing. Instead of spending the day praying to God, I spent the day praying to loose weight. After I made this decision I realized I had to go food shopping, so I decided not to fast completely, I bought bananas and at 4 bananas today. Now that the day is over I think I should have just gone with the water. I went to the gym in the morning and in the evening today, when I weighed myself this evening I was down to 187, which is one more pound this week. I am hoping my water and banana diet today will bring it down even more for my weekly weigh in tomorrow. I hope I didn't do this all for naught!

Oxford July Class

 Today was the last of the class for this month. I enjoy teaching the San Jose class because they hotel we use it four minutes from my house. That works a lot better than when I teach in San Francisco and have leave my house an hour before class starts. This class was interesting, really a diversity of types of students. There were women from Iran and Korea. There were some people that had just graduated from college, and some that were mid-career and one that was retired and wanted to give back to the society of the world. I admire my students, they quickly learn some skills and then set of for the adventure of a lifetime. I try my best to give them something to start with, and I know that they will end up surpassing me in teaching ability. I keep in touch with some students, a woman that went to France even emails me periodically telling me what works and what doesn't, and she even sends pictures which I am so happy to see. I talk to a couple of old student on FaceBook and they help me see what they go through overseas and it makes me sometimes feel like I'm part of their family. The majority of my students I never hear from again. I really feel like I am affecting lives of my students and their students. I hope that I am appreciated and people remember me. This class was fun during their final class, some people did lessons with candy, some let the students play with Playdoh, and we even got the chance to run an obstacle course. Lots of innovative lessons and I think everyone realizes that they have to have their students play to learn. They all remembered that you can't learn if you can't laugh!!

Wash out the Gray!!

Me on July 22, 2011 ... next day I dyed my hair again

My hair is gray right now, but after I finish writing this I will dye it back to brown. My hair started turning gray about 9 years ago and since then I have been dying it. I have tried a few different colors, even thought about dying it blonde. I have kept it brown since then. I like to look my best, I'm not vain I just like to be happy with my looks. I changed my hair about 2 months ago, I cut my hair off and let it grow back gray. I needed a change and wanted to see if I liked it. My mother finally let her hair go gray and so did my two sisters and I wanted to join them. I have lived with it short and gray for 2 months and have shocked everyone when they have seen me. Most of the people I know have finally gotten used to my gray hair, but I haven't gotten used to it. I feel old when I see my hair gray. I feel like my hair color is taking control of my life, and I don't want that simple of thing to affect me so dramatically. When my hair is colored I look and feel 10 to 15 years younger. I think that is good! Now everyone will wonder why I dye my hair and they will ask how I can dye it when everyone knows my real hair color. I don't change my hair color for my friends, I change it for me. I don't want to hide the fact that I change my hair color.  I guess if I wanted to hide it I wouldn't talk about it now in this public forum!!

Life's Highs and Lows!

At Lake Tahoe paragliding

This morning when I woke up I knew it was going to be a bad day. I was already late for a meeting with my new boss, last night I heard some bad news, the cats had started fighting at 5am, and I constantly worry about my job since I have been told that I am not to drive my work car and most of my work is done by driving to different places. I quickly ate breakfast and drove to work. When I got to work I found out that I was early and my boss hadn't arrived yet. As I was waiting I talked to my bosses assistant who is also new. While meeting him I found out that he and I had many things in common and had similar stories. He works in the Pentagon now and I told him the story of the one time I had visited the Pentagon in the 80s there was a famous wedding on a soap opera, Luke and Laura, and every office I walked past they were watching the wedding. He said when he went to the Capitol Building earlier this month every office he passed was watching the Royal Wedding! It was good to talk to him. He then mentioned that he knew about my problem with me not allowed to drive my work car and it would be fixed by the end of the month. He told me he had heard some good things about me and was looking forward to working with me in the future. I felt a little better about the future of my job. The boss came and I sat in the meeting with everyone. He had said he wanted to reduce the pressure on everyone and have them concentrate on a balanced life, not just worrying about their recruiting mission, but also worry about having a balanced life, taking care of their families and their health and their futures. I have been around the military literally all of my life and people always say this when they become the boss. Everyone talks about people keeping their lives balanced, but then when they tell you what they really want they think you should put work first and then hopefully you have time to take care of other things in your life. This man was specific in changes he would make that would reduce the pressure of the recruiting mission and increase the priority of people taking care of the rest of their lives. I like this guy!! After the meeting my new boss met with me privately. I always dread meeting privately with my bosses, that is when I am given bad news if it comes. This man didn't really know what my specific job was so I told him, of course I told him that because of me the area I am in charge of has succeeded like never before in all three years I have had my position. I told him how important the man that does the same job in the south as well as I in the north are to everyone we work with in the organizations we work with. He was impressed when I told him that because of our work we do 75% of all the school visits in California versus the rest of the services, and we are the smallest service. He asked what I needed to improve the support I give to the unit. The man in southern California and I had discussed this before and I told him that we needed our own website. After the meeting my boss left, within 30 minutes of him leaving I received an email saying he wanted me to be on the conference call he has with his staff so I could be an integral part of decisions. Within an hour I received an email from the webmaster asking what I wanted in our new website!! I am happy today. I woke up dreading the day and within a few hours I feel a rejuvenation of my future in my job and I realize that just as life can change for the worse in a blink of an eye, it can improve in the same time frame. Ups and downs ... what will it be next? If you aren't happy with your life, wait a while and it will change...

Life Goals

On Lake Tahoe on a catamaran.

We are always told to have goals in our lives. When we are young our goal is to get into college. After getting in college the goal is to finish college. Many people set their goals wrong, they should set their goal according to the job they eventually want, not just finishing college. Times have changed that going to college means good job and good future. The medical and computer fields have many jobs that don't require a four year college degree and make a good living. College is eventually important to get a management job. Management jobs don't always make the most income and are probably the most volatile, if a company has to downsize they get rid of middle management before they get rid of people with skills other than management. We set goals and reach them and then we have to make more goals. It is a never ending cycle.

Sometimes we have goals that are not obtainable for no reason that we can control. Lives change change at the blink of an eye. I once was driving on the freeway and someone coming the opposite direction came off the freeway and into the median and flipped over and over again towards me. It almost hit me and I stopped and helped them. It was in December and there were Christmas gifts strewn over the median. The occupants were not hurt and were able to get out of the car on their own, after they were helped out of their seat belts because they were hanging upside down. I realized that there whole lives would be affected by that accident. One thing happens and your whole life can change. The goals you set can be changed by influences completely out of your control, whether it is an accident, another person changing their mind, or changes that are forced because of forces of nature. Goals change, lives change, people change ... but life continues and when you look back to that change you realize that you were made different from that change and maybe that is good and maybe that is bad, but there will be another change in the future. Resiliency is important and you have to have variety to be able to enjoy things! Someone told me last week that I need a hobby, and maybe that is why hobbies are so important, if you have a change in your life you can always look at your hobby as stability. Family and hobbies ... everyone should have one!!

Week 5 - total 11 pounds

Pigeon Point Lighthouse, near Santa Cruz, California

This week I tried to reduce the number of days I went to the gym. I went once or twice a day every other day. Wednesday I went twice, Thursday I didn't go, Friday I went in the morning, and then dancing in the evening, Saturday I didn't go the the gym, Sunday I didn't go to the gym ... in fact I went to a Korean buffet restaurant and ate as much as I wanted ... Monday I didn't go to the gym and then Tuesday I went to the gym twice. I guess variety is the key, variety in what I do, and variety in how often I do it. I am worried that I can't keep it going, but then again, I thought this would be worse. I think I will step it up this week. Maybe twice a day and then once a day alternate. I find that I can't do as much in the gym as I do when I go twice every day. As far as eating I am trying to eat regularly using small portions. I eat Cheerios for breakfast, have a piece of fruit for brunch, a piece of chicken for lunch, and either chicken or steak for dinner, with a piece of fruit a couple of hours after dinner. If I go out to eat I go to Subway, I get a foot long sandwich and rather than eat the whole foot long for lunch I eat half for lunch and half for dinner. I was thinking of trying to make a sub sandwich at home, but I think what I get at the store is much better than I can do myself. I have an incentive that only I know about, and whenever I want to give up ... I think about it and push harder!!

Ballroom Dancing

Statue on Treasure Island near San Francisco

I really enjoy ballroom dancing, but I am a forever beginner! Ballroom dancing includes Foxtrot, Tango, Waltz, Swing, 2 Step, Salsa, Cha Cha and Rumba, I like Rumba and Cha Cha the best, probably because those are the ones that I have practiced the most and I know the most different steps. I first did ballroom dancing in college. It was a lot of fun then and I was pretty good. I even went on a couple of dates just to go ballroom dancing at the Madonna Inn. It was fun and always stayed with me as something I wanted to pursue, but never got the chance until I got divorced. When I was married my wife didn't want to learn. I don't know why. When I divorced I wanted to find a way to be around people and this made sense. Ballroom dancing crowds don't drink while dancing and most people are from good socio-economic groups.  You have to be able to afford dance classes to improve at all. I originally started at the Fred Astaire Dance Studio which was small and intimate and I took private lessons and group classes and improved to an intermediate level. Then I realized it was really not affordable to me so I changed to Starlite Dance Studio and took some group classes, but mostly just went to their group parties and tried to keep what I already knew. For the past 10 years I have gone periodically. Go for a few weeks and then don't go for a couple of years, then I will miss it and want to go so I will do the same cycle. I give up going when it gets obvious that I am not really good and don't really enjoy the feeling of asking girls to dance all the time. Sometimes I find one girl that wants to dance with me more than once, but that isn't common. In most areas ballroom dancing is fun for men because there are more women there then men, but in this area there are more men than women at dance studios and I end up feeling like I am in line asking the women to dance. I get discouraged sometimes and don't go back for a year or two. I am trying to diet these days so I need the extra exercise and will use ballroom dancing, especially the swing and cha cha, as a workout and will stay longer at the dance parties to get more of a workout.

Drive-In Movies

Ever been to the Drive-In? It is a fun experience, the movies without everyone telling you to be quiet! Tonight I am going to go to see the last Harry Potter movie at midnight with my kids. They don't know I have to work early in the morning, but that doesn't matter, I want to spend a couple of hours with my kids. The drive-in is fun because you can bring in any food you want, talk as much as you want, laugh as loud as you want, and even sleep if you want and no one else cares. We will go an hour or so early so we can get munchies and drinks. This is one of those times when my diet takes second seat to having fun. I will be careful what I eat, and only drink diet drinks. We will get ice cream on our way like we always do. When we have gone before I had a convertible and that was fun, but if the night is cold we put the top on any way. Tonight we are going to the midnight showing, the first showing of the movie. I have only done that for one movie before, Star Wars 3. I am looking forward to a fun evening with my kids and I hope they are looking forward to it also!!

Single Dads

I have three wonderful daughters. Lindsey, Jayne, and Sarah are wonderful kids. They are all three unique and similar at the same time. If you look at them they look totally different (unique), but they have the same smile and same nose (similar). They have different types of friends and do very different in school also. I could go on and on about how great my kids are. But, the truth is I don't really know my kids. I haven't lived with them for over 10 years. There were 2 weeks they lived with me as a trio about 8 years ago, and they have stayed here for weekends over the years. Having them live with their mom was a conscience decision. When I was going to court discussing how to do this I had my sister's son staying with me. His parents were divorced and he told me the day he hated the most was Wednesdays because that was the day he switched houses. After talking to me I realized the kids needed A home, not two. I don't regret my decision to have them spend most of their time with their mom. I had them every other weekend and a week in the summer. My kids know which is their house. They also know there Dad is close to them and if they need to go somewhere, or need something, or just need to talk all they have to do is call. My kids are my world, even though I live alone. Am I a single Dad? Sometimes I think a Single Dad is someone that the kids live with, but if that is so, then what am I? I always wonder if I did what I should do. I wonder if I should have spent more time with my kids. I wonder if I should have allowed my kids not to come to my house when they didn't want to or should I have demanded they come. When they hit 13 each one of them stopped staying the night, even though when the other did that they told me they wouldn't. I have to admit something, each time they stayed the weekend I took them home and cried on the way back to my house. It was like having a full life for a few hours and then going back into a vacuum for a couple of weeks until I get them back. I talked to them in the mean time, I saw them at school or gave them rides home or to meet their friends. Was I a great Dad, no. Did I always put my kids first, no. Could I have done something better, yes. I guess I can only tell if I did a good job is how did they turn out. They are all successful in school, they all have good friendships and contribute to organizations they are involved with. I love my kids and I hope they know that!!

Frequency

This morning I couldn't motivate myself to exercise. Usually it isn't a problem, I have a goal to loose 20 pounds and I really want to make this happen!! I have changed my frequency of working out, I have gone from going to  the gym once a day, every day, to going twice a day, every other day, and now I go twice a day every other day. I think the important thing is not getting yourself into a rut and always following the same routine. How often should I weigh myself when I am on a diet? I have heard some people say only do it once a week so you don't get discouraged when you don't loose weight or even if you gain a pound one day. If you follow a routine you know will work, eating reasonably and increasing the amount of calories you burn every day then shoot for how much you will loose per week and don't worry about day by day. I weigh myself every day. I am not sure if it is the best way, but that is what I do. I know if I loose one pound or stay the same weight daily, sometimes twice a day since I sometimes weigh myself in the morning and then also in the evening. Today I decided not to go to the gym any more because yesterday was the third day in a row that I didn't loose any weight, in fact I had gained some. I was ready to give up! I stayed in bed and debated, and decided to GIVE UP! I have been posting in this blog how I have been doing daily to so I can't give up. Not this time, since I have given up on trying to loose weight the past two times I have attempted. So, I drug myself out of bed late in the morning and shuffled over to the bathroom scale, one last time! I stepped on and BEHOLD, I was not only under 190, I was almost at 185. I know the bathroom scale isn't the best way to weigh myself, but I haven't been under 190 on my home scale for a couple of years, and I haven't been to 185 in at least 5 years. I walked into my bedroom and slipped on my exercise clothes, shorts given to me by my kids which always encourage me and my daughter's gift of a UCSD shirt and went and had the best exercise I have had in the past month. So, I go back to the question of how often I should weigh myself. If I didn't weigh myself every day I wouldn't have felt so depressed and ready to give up, but if I didn't weigh myself every day I wouldn't have weighed myself this morning and gotten so excited about my progress and decided NOT to give up! Anyone have any comments or suggestions?

Teach Yourself!

First let me talk about my weight loss. I went from exercising every day to exercising twice a day. Now I'm at exercising twice a day every other day. So, one day I go to gym in morning and night, morning is on the elliptical for 30 minutes, and that is being increased by 5 minutes every week, and then at night I warm up on the elliptical for 15 minutes and then lift weights for 15 minutes and then 15 more minutes on the elliptical. I'm not sure I am doing the right things on the weights, but I am doing something. I started at 199 pounds and as of this morning I am at 191. What makes me really happy is when I get up in the morning and weigh myself without anything on using my bathroom scale it is down to 187. I haven't been that low in a long time. I know it isn't accurate, but feels good! I think it is important to get the day off. Today I exercised in the morning and in the evening then tonight I went dancing and danced for 3 hours. I had a great day. Tomorrow I won't exercise and then I will again on Sunday. Let's see what happens.

For my job this summer I have taken the initiative to make a power point presentation for everyone in California to use to make presentations in high schools. I have never been taught how to make a power point presentation. I have done simple ones before, just put pages that changed when I pushed the space bar. When I had originally started to work on this power point I thought I would do it the same way. Then someone sent me a power point that used a lot of animation. I didn't even know what animation was until I saw their presentation. Then I learned, I did a lot of trial and error and eventually I came up with a presentation I am proud about. I finished that a week ago, and then I found out how to add a narrative, and this week I found out how to have one set of slides projected and another set of slides on the computer monitor so the person can give the presentation and read what they are supposed to say. I am happy about all the things I learned by making this presentation. I think that we all need to keep teaching ourselves things because stagnation is never a good thing.

Living alone!

I didn't go to the gym today, I am trying every other day. I feel guilty, so I will be sure to do 3 workouts tomorrow, including ballroom dancing at night. To make things even worse, I went to a buffet tonight. I didn't think about the diet, so I hate to weigh myself tomorrow!

I live alone, I am almost always alone ... even at work. I sometimes don't like that about summers, there are no schools to visit and since I don't have use of my work car this summer I can't even go visit recruiters. I often spend my days sitting in my living room watching tv and on my computer. Sometimes watching a movie and sometimes playing Settlers of Catan on the computer. I like having my two cats at home, they are a good distraction, but usually in the back sleeping on my bed or, believe it or not, in the bathroom sink! Sometimes I go shopping and sometimes just go for a walk. Today I decided I needed to get out of the house. I wanted to go someplace to cool off since it has been really hot the last couple of days and in the afternoon my house gets hotter than outside. So, I thought I would go to Great America, the local amusement park which has a wave pool. I went to the amusement park alone, without any kids. I always get lost in Great America when I am without my kids. They know that place like they live there, but I went the wrong way and had to walk all the way around the park before I got to the wave pool. I stayed there for about an hour, hoping to start a tan and to cool off. It was nice to be around people, even though I was alone. I think I will go again!

Water!!

I didn't exercise today. I think, at least I hope, that I need to make changes in my routine. I will do double sessions one day, then not exercise the next. I am not sure if that will work, but something has to shake these doldrums up! I will make this change for one week, my fourth week.

This morning when I took my shower I noticed the hot water wasn't really hot. After my shower I went out to the water heater and noticed it was leaking. It is probably 30 years old and is designed to last 5 years. One thing I don't like about me is I procrastinate too much. I have known this was a problem for about a year, but I kept putting it off until tomorrow morning I will be taking a cold shower. I was thinking the best thing to do is exercise first so the cold water cools off my hot body. One of life's biggest ironies is how you try to save money, or pay off debts and then things like this happen and don't allow you to follow your plans. I guess plans need to be to flexible! At least tomorrow night I can write about how good a HOT shower feels!!

Great Day!!

Today I had a great day!!  It will be one of my most memorable 4th of July's!! I did my gym this morning, then when I got home Sarah asked if she could come over. SURE! So when I picked her and Jayne up we went to Sizzler for lunch. Jayne and I ate the all you can eat salad bar and Sarah had endless shrimp and steak, but she was full before she could order more shrimp! As we left ... Jayne said, "this place smells like old people", as the door was closing, it was so funny! Then we went to the Alameda County Fair. I love the Fair because of the animals and stuff to see. It was HOT, over 100, and the girls were miserable, so we didn't stay too long. We got to see the pigs and the rabbits were cute. After the Fair we went home and rested. Then Sarah and I went out to find fireworks. We searched online and found some place that was supposed to have fireworks. We ended up at a small park in the middle of some apartments. There were some guys there that had a pickup full of fireworks. We watched for 40 minutes and sometimes the fireworks went into the apartments, sometime into the crowd, it was fun and I was glad no one got hurt. At one time a firework ended up near us, and some guy picked it up. It seemed to be a dud, but I was worried, because he picked it up. I told him he should make sure there wasn't a spark in it, he put it to his eye and looked inside and BANG, a firework they had just fired of BOOMED. We all laughed because we were all scared. it was fun and dangerous and exiting. A great day!!

Horseback riding!

I feel guilty today, I didn't go to the gym at all! I kept putting it off until I was doing something else, then didn't have time. Yesterday I only went once, and tomorrow I will only go once. And I ate a lot today ... let's see what happens. Today I went horseback riding near the beach. It was fun, and I guess it was some exercise. After the horses I drove down the coast highway and saw an airplane do skywriting! That was a lot of fun to watch. I hope I can find something fun to do tomorrow on 4th of July!

Presentation Skills

First let me tell you about the weight loss ... Down 7 pounds in 2 weeks and 2 days. Today I got to the gym in the morning and then didn't go this evening. I was tired so took a nap before ballroom dancing. I figured doing the cha cha for 2 hours was at least as equivalent as being in the gym for 30 minutes!

This afternoon I went to Treasure Island which is a small island half way between San Francisco and Oakland, in the San Francisco Bay. I had often passed it when I took the Bay Bridge, but never had gotten off the bridge to look at what was there. I was impressed with the simple buildings on Treasure Island and the fantastic views of The City. I had to make a presentation to about 25 teachers and counselors and administrators with the Job Corps. The equipment they said would be there wasn't, so I was glad to bring my computer and projector to keep everything smooth. I do a lot of presentations to different groups, high school students, school administrators, and students in my TESL classes. This one I have been working on for 2 weeks. I wanted to design it so it can be used in a variety of different settings and for different purposes. I figured out what I wanted to say, then found a way to make the presentation look interesting. I find that when I get in front of a class/group I become a different person completely. I really like that person. That person is confident, funny and very knowledgeable. That person remembers vocabulary I usually don't think of and he makes and makes the experience memorable to the class/group. It is like I got into a "zone" like runners often talk about, where I feel like I am watching myself rather than it being me doing the presentation. I was happy with the results of the meeting. I had everyone convinced how great the program was and had even the skeptics talking about how they NEEDED the program and they decided to expand the program. Right now they don't make it a requirement to for their students to participate in our program, and we were hoping they would require their 300 students participate. They decided not only to require each student participate, but have them participate once when they enter the Job Corps but also require them to participate when they leave. We were hoping to go from the participation level they are now, which is about 15 students a month, to triple to about 45 a month. Now they are talking about 200 a month to participate! Everyone is excited and they want this to happen if I am the one making the presentations to their students!! I am excited and so is everyone involved with the program! (can you hear my screaming!!!)

My face is peeling

On Monday I got a fierce sunburn on my face. I don't mind it, even though it hurts, because I know a sunburn turns into a good tan! I think tans look healthy. I like to be tanned, but at the beginning of the summer my skin is usually so white that it is like a vacuum for the hot sun. So, after getting burned the skin will peel away, in a couple of days. Under the peeling skin the brown appears, like peeling an egg. The problem is today my face looks like a peeling egg! Yuck!! I guess I am supposed to put aloe oil on it to keep it from getting dry and peeling, but I don't. Tomorrow when I shower I will scrub with one of those things to take off dry skin. I don't know how long that will help.

This week I have been working on a presentation I will give tomorrow. This has been fun for me to do, I am learning how to make Power Point slides with more pizzazz. I have never taken classes and had done the slides last week and they looked decent. One of my coworkers sent me a presentation he had done which had animation in it. It was great, where mine was adequate. So, I did the presentation again, put in some animation and showed it to other coworkers and they were amazed at how good it looked. I redid it, for a third time tonight and now I am happy with it. This presentation will be used throughout California for the next few years, it is that good. It is a great training tool and will be good to be used as a presentation. I am proud of myself when I learn new things and can use them to improve something and I am really proud of myself tonight. I won't be gloating about this in real life, which is a good reason to have this blog!

Teacher's are GOD

Today I struggled. Still got morning and night at the gym, but tonight it was really hard to go as far as I wanted to go. Nothing really happened today. I did some tutoring and felt good about helping people meet their goals in life. I met with an old friend and I think I'm finding out more about myself and how I relate to people. There is definitely a difference between the Mr. Phillips in the classroom and the Scott outside of the classroom. In the classroom people expect me to take charge, so I do. I make sure everyone is involved and part of what is going on. Outside the classroom I am a little withdrawn and don't feel I have the right to demand people do things. I teach teachers to do this in the classroom, I always joke that the teacher is GOD and needs to take charge. I tell the story of when ESL students used to argue with me about what was proper English and what wasn't. It started many years ago when a student told me a golf club couldn't cost only $25. They got confused between a golf club and a country club. They told me that what I call a golf club was really called a "golf stick" in English and that I didn't know English. I didn't know what else to say, I just told this lady, don't argue with me, I'm GOD in this class. She was annoying everyone in the class that people were happy I put my foot down. I got other stories about her, maybe I will tell them later. The important thing is that when people see me in the classroom they are totally surprised about how I act outside the classroom, which is almost the opposite!