Vacuums

Christmas 2011

Tonight is Christmas Eve, 2011. My tradition, since my divorce in 2001, is to meet my daughters on Christmas Eve, before they go to church, have dinner and exchange gifts. Then they go and I am alone. We all sometimes sacrifice things to make others comfortable. I don't always have the best Christmas after my kids leave, but I always have the best Christmas possible when I'm with my kids. Think of going from a very high, to a very low! I always smile when I am with my kids, because I am always happy. Think of when I have my kids on the weekends, the normal family dynamics of arguments, having things to do together, fighting over what to have for dinner, just being annoyed with each other. But, you are together. You realize what you had after you loose it! I loose it every time the weekend is over. Like going into a vacuum. Sometimes one or all of my kids stay for a few weeks, then the bond gets closer. Then, they leave. It goes away, the emotion of being so close to others in the family. The feeling of having, being part of the family. It is like going from a very high to a very low, in a matter of minutes. I would never want to go without the high, and I know the low is for me, not for them. If I thought, for a minute, it was that way for them I wouldn't go through that. I can handle it, because I know there will be another high. Tonight I ate dinner with all three kids, and my mother. My mother was an added element to that high! I really was happy she joined us tonight, and cherish every time I see her. I am having a great Christmas, and will have a terrific new year. I hope everyone else does too!! God Bless You All!!