Rumors!!

Sea Lion in Monterey

I did something that I will regret for a long time. During volleyball season I was talking to one of the parents and heard some rumors about one of the team members and then I repeated it to another one of the parents. I didn't really think about it, but then my daughter reminded me I was spreading rumors about one of her best friends. I wish I could apologize to her, but it was hard to admit that I was wrong. I tried to justify me spreading rumors with some lame excuses, but the truth is I had wished I hadn't listened to the person that told me the rumor and I truly regret repeating what I had a hard time believing myself. A couple of weeks later I heard that there was rumor that I was on drugs. I had to laugh because it is the most ridiculous thing I can think of. In case you are wondering the truth is I had smoked pot once in my life, when I was in college and one of the prettiest girls I had known offered me a pipe while at a party. I smoked because she wanted me to, but it had no effect. I have never wanted to use drugs because I could never understand if it makes you feel good what happens when it wears off. I know my personality is addictive and I would want it again and again. I am that way with a lot of things. I get addicted to books, and video games, and even teaching. When I had heard that there was a rumor that I was using drugs I wasn't worried about it until I realized if the school had heard the rumor it might cause problems. I have learned in my life that perception is in fact reality in many people's minds. Right now there is a scandal about a coach that has been rumored to have molested children. People have automatically decided he was guilty. He has been accused by some boys. People automatically perceive molesting as sex, I made that conclusion too. In fact, he took a shower with the boys. People say that is molesting, does that mean during the shower he touched the boy, or he looked at the boy, or he ... what does molesting mean? I wonder how far you have to go to "molest"! I guess I am wrong too, but not condemning the man without knowing what happened. I think of the things I have done and I realize that I could have been accused of things I had no idea were wrong. Rumors are rampant in every society, I don't think anything can be done but we need to realize that words are as harmful as acts.

You may read this and think I am condoning something, but what I really say is don't judge someone until you know the facts. Just because someone uses the word "molest" doesn't really tell you what they did, it is the perception of what they did. I think that anyone that does anything indecent to a child, or anyone, is VERY BAD, but I also know that sometimes you have to look at the background, not just what you see. I have been stopped by the police because I had my daughter, who looks asian, in my car after midnight. My daughter really got self conscience about it and wondered if she should carry ID to prove she is my daughter! I went into elementary education when I was in college and I really had a desire to work with kids. If I knew any male that was thinking the same thing right now I would tell him he is crazy and I would strongly advise him not to do anything with kids. These days it is too risky and not worth the potential disaster in your life is the wrong person perceives the wrong thing.