Christmas sorrows and cheers

Christmas 2010

Christmas 2008

Christmas 2004

Sarah showing gifts 2004

Christmas time always reminds me of sad times as well as happy times. I remember the first Christmas I spent after I graduated from college. I was in Germany as a second lieutenant. I remember that I was an officer so I had to put on the facade of how lucky we were to be in Europe to experience Christmas. Some of it was cool, I actually saw a St. Nicolas dressed up in red and in a horse drawn sleigh that went around giving candy canes. I went to Kristkringlemart in Nuerenburg and saw all the lights and Christmas stuff being sold. Germany does Christmas GOOD. I can remember telling people how great it was, and in the inside feeling sad and lonely. I remember the Christmas tree lighting in Kitzengen and leading in the carols. I got everyone all excited and happy singing around the Christmas tree, then quietly went to the back of the crowd and tears running down my eyes because I was so alone! I do that a lot, try to put on a "happy face" to cheer people up, then quietly move away and be by myself. I was in Korea one Christmas,  I was the Company Commander and gave out gifts to everyone to make them happy, I made sure EVERYONE had another person around them so no one was alone. I wore one of those santa hats when I was in my uniform so everyone had a laugh and some cheer in their life. Then I left the installation, which no one was allowed to do without my permission so I knew I was going to be around no one that knew me. I walked through the little town next to the post and I can remember walking by a little white church. I stopped outside the church and listened to the choir practice their carols for Christmas Eve service. I didn't know the words they were singing, but I knew the tunes. I stood outside in the freezing cold and it was snowing a little. I just listened and sang quietly in English as they were singing in Korean. I also remember when I was young and my brother and I would look under the door as my parents brought the gifts out of their room and put them under the tree. I remember when my dad was in Korea or Vietnam and my mom tried to make Christmas fun for everyone. Or when I got a bike for Christmas and when our relatives in Chicago called we would tell them we were out riding bikes, when they were out shoveling snow. One of my favorite memories was when I went to Korea to teach English and the first year Lindsey was 4 and Jayne was 2, I was out teaching all day and stopped at the market place to buy the toys. I got home at 10 pm that night after tutoring all day. When I got home the kids were literally sleeping under the Christmas tree and their mom and I wrapped the gifts and put them under the tree next to the kids. After we were done we opened the door and yelled in the direction of the kids, "Bye Santa, thanks for coming". It woke the kids up and Lindsey ran down the 5 flights of stairs to get a glimpse of Santa. Or when Lindsey was 1.5 months old she was the baby Jesus in the church manger scene, and I played Santa Claus. Since my divorce our tradition is on Christmas eve the kids and I go out to a nice dinner and exchange gifts. Then they go to church after dinner with their mom, the same one Lindsey was baby Jesus for. It is fun and I wonder how much longer we can keep that going since the kids are starting to graduate from college and going to soon have their own things to do! Good and bad Christmases, it is always a memorable time of year!

Lindsey learning to drive Christmas Eve 2004