Heart voids

I think people have infinite ability for love. I think, at least I, there is not a limit to how much you can love someone, or how many people you can love. I can truly say that I have love for my students, and I have had lots of students. I have not always been faithful to loved ones, but that doesn't mean that the love is gone, maybe just the lust. Sometimes I feel that there is a void in my heart because I want someone more to love. Sometimes, not often, someone comes that fills that void. I feel full and content. Sometimes one person can fill me up and sometimes not. I can be dating one woman and still feel an emptiness within me.

I think the secret to keeping that hole in my heart filled is find someone with that chemistry that makes me feel I can't feel more is possible. I feel the completeness and in certain relationships. Sometimes I have a relationship with one person that I felt that before with and it slowly fades away. Chemistry needs to be cultivated and worked. and not allowed to stagnate. The happiest marriages are the ones where both people work together to keep it. Even Archie and Edith had a close relationship that they worked on constantly. At different times in my life I have met women that have affected me immensely. I think 5. I recently have decided the emptiness in my heart is better than a pain in my heart.

 I always try to fill that void in my heart. I am in one relationship and feel it isn't complete and so I keep looking. I think the woman can also feel that there is a void in my heart and that makes them more suspicious. Then it becomes a self-fulfilling prophesy and a cycle that can only lead to one thing. I don't know if I should stop that cycle. I know how to prevent the cycle, to nurture the relationship, but if I know it won't be a lasting relationship then why should I work to keep it? Now this all sounds like I am trying to justify myself. I originally thought I would write about how if there is a void in your heart it is because you don't work hard at filling it. Now this reads like only certain people can fill that void.

 Now I'm thinking that we shouldn't keep the people that just fill the little voids because they add up. You should be looking for the big void fillers. If it takes many people to fill your big void then you need a few people that you work with to fill bigger voids. Okay, I'm really rambling so I will stop!!