Good Dad, Bad Dad

Yesterday I was really busy, I started in San Francisco meeting with someone that wanted to join the National Guard, then I had to drive to San Francisco State University, then I had to drive to Livermore High School (where the sign in front of the school said "no horse riding"), then I had to drive to Santa Clara High School for a school site meeting, then I attended a few minutes of the sports award banquet (Sarah got All League!), then I had to go meet some more people that want to join the National Guard in San Jose. This morning I went to Alisal High School in Salinas then drove to my mom's house in Monterey then drove to North Salinas High School ... then drove back to Santa Clara High School to pick up Sarah at school. Tomorrow I'm on my way to Potter Valley High School which is a 3 hour drive north. I picked up some audio books tonight for tomorrow's drive and next week's marathon.

Today in Salinas I worked with SFC Davila. I really like him and have much respect for him. He and I spent time between  the two schools talking. I asked him if he was going to retire soon and he told me he was looking for a job to get after he retired, and if he found a job that he wanted, then he would retire. He has four young kids and I asked him how he could keep the long hours with his kids so young. SFC Davila (Filipe) lives about 2 hours from his office. He often works until 10 or 11 pm and then is often in his office around 8 or 9am. How he keeps up these hours I don't know, but the fire in his eyes shows he really enjoys his job. I asked him about his kids and whether he feels he is being fair to them by working such long hours. He told me his father used to beat him ... not just hit him, but beat him. He told me he really loves his dad and always has. I asked him if he was like a battered wife who blames herself for getting her husband upset at her. Filipe told me he never blamed himself when his dad beat him, but always loved him because he was his dad. It started me thinking about what kind of dad I am/was. A friend of mine told me I was a great dad today when he heard I had Sarah at my house until 9 tonight and then took her home. I think most of us dads compare ourselves to our own dads. I think we can not do that, because our dads are from a different generation (isn't that the definition of a generation...). What makes a good dad? Filipe thinks it is giving his kids things that he wasn't able to have when he was growing up. I think it has to do with how much personal time we give our kids. I feel a little sad that I can't give my kids more "things", and for many years I couldn't give them my personal time. Even though I haven't lived with my kids for many years I have made a point of living close to the kids. I have often done things for myself instead of for my kids. I wish I could have my kids live with me all their lives, but I had to make some tough decisions a few years ago. I thought it would be better for the girls to live with their mom, then their dad. I thought it would be best for the three sisters to grow up together, rather than be separated. I am very proud of my kids and feel they will have successful lives. I don't know if that has to do with me being a good dad, or their mom being a good mom, or a combination of the two, or in spite of mom and dad! Good job kids!