Writing Specific Blogs!

Today I finished my September class for Oxford Seminars. This was a very stressful class to teach because the students had more experience than the teacher. I had a man in the class that has been a principal for over 12 years and an educator for over 38 years. I had a woman that is now a superintendent, has been a principal and has been an educator for over 45 years. She is invited to make presentations to international organizations around the world. I have a man that has been teaching high school for over 12 years. Another man has been training engineers for over 35 years. Only one of the students was under 30.

I was stressed because of so much experience the students had, but I also am a teacher and I got into a different mode when I am in charge of the classroom. It was exciting to watch everyone teach. It was also fun to watch the few students that were in the class that have never taught before grow in their ability since they had so many teachers. At the end of each class I always ask the students how I can improve my class. This class had some good advice and I will change my class as I can. During my class I often make suggestions about how to teach. I tell them when they teach they need to make the class light and fun, they need to be confident, they need to prepare for classes so they are comfortable, and teachers need to be coaches and encouraging.

I call these Scottisms. My students convinced me to start a new blog about all my Scottisms. I took 22 postings from this blog that I have done over the years and started a new blog at: http://scottisms.blogspot.com.

A few days ago my mom asked me to set up a blog for her. She has many stories she wants to tell and I set up a blog for her to tell her stories at: http://lauraphillips-quinn.blogspot.com. I don't know how often she will post anything, but it is nice that she has a forum to write when she wants to. I think it is important for people to write in blogs when they have something to say. I always suggest my students set up blogs as they travel around the world so they can tell their friends and families about their adventures.

It is nice to set up a blog about a specific part of your life, something you have a passion for. Even if you think no one wants to read it you will be surprised by the people that find what you write.

First Lasts

This year will be a year of many lasts for me. My three daughters have all gone to the same high school. My youngest daughter is a senior this year so as the year progresses she will do many things for the last time for all my family. This week was homecoming at the high school and it was the last time I will go the night before to help, or watch, them work on floats. Last night I went to the Homecoming football game and it is the last time I will go to a Homecoming game that I have kids in the school.

I guess it isn't the first last, she went to the sunrise for her first day of her senior year last month and that was the first last to begin the school year. But, for me this was the first last. Soon I will get the last senior portrait and then it will be the last Halloween that I have school kids and then it will  be the last Christmas Formal. The lasts will last all year until my last high school graduation that I will have one of my children in. This is a happy and a sad time for me. I am happy for my daughter, it helps her realize how much she is growing up. I am sad for me because it makes me realize how much she is growing up.

I don't worry about me growing old, I worry if I prepared my daughter for what she will face in the future. My older two daughters seem to be doing good. I hope my youngest daughter will follow in their footsteps. It has been 5 years since the middle daughter graduated from high school and I hope this one is able to go through college as smoothly. They are all 3 different and have their own strengths and weaknesses. Life has different curves for everyone. We all need to deal with life in our own way and we can't depend on anyone else to guide us second by second. All my kids know I am there is they need me.
This is also a year of firsts. Sarah is the first of the daughters to be in the homecoming court, as an escort. Sarah is the first to have so many college units when she graduates high school (through AP tests and college courses she has taken during her high school years). She will have many first and many lasts this year. She will have many downs, like she wasn't voted as one of the Homecoming Princesses, and many ups. I think every parent needs to be sure the children know they are first in their life and will always be first. I think that is why I'm still single, I need to put my primary focus on my kids until the youngest graduates from high school.

Heart voids

I think people have infinite ability for love. I think, at least I, there is not a limit to how much you can love someone, or how many people you can love. I can truly say that I have love for my students, and I have had lots of students. I have not always been faithful to loved ones, but that doesn't mean that the love is gone, maybe just the lust. Sometimes I feel that there is a void in my heart because I want someone more to love. Sometimes, not often, someone comes that fills that void. I feel full and content. Sometimes one person can fill me up and sometimes not. I can be dating one woman and still feel an emptiness within me.

I think the secret to keeping that hole in my heart filled is find someone with that chemistry that makes me feel I can't feel more is possible. I feel the completeness and in certain relationships. Sometimes I have a relationship with one person that I felt that before with and it slowly fades away. Chemistry needs to be cultivated and worked. and not allowed to stagnate. The happiest marriages are the ones where both people work together to keep it. Even Archie and Edith had a close relationship that they worked on constantly. At different times in my life I have met women that have affected me immensely. I think 5. I recently have decided the emptiness in my heart is better than a pain in my heart.

 I always try to fill that void in my heart. I am in one relationship and feel it isn't complete and so I keep looking. I think the woman can also feel that there is a void in my heart and that makes them more suspicious. Then it becomes a self-fulfilling prophesy and a cycle that can only lead to one thing. I don't know if I should stop that cycle. I know how to prevent the cycle, to nurture the relationship, but if I know it won't be a lasting relationship then why should I work to keep it? Now this all sounds like I am trying to justify myself. I originally thought I would write about how if there is a void in your heart it is because you don't work hard at filling it. Now this reads like only certain people can fill that void.

 Now I'm thinking that we shouldn't keep the people that just fill the little voids because they add up. You should be looking for the big void fillers. If it takes many people to fill your big void then you need a few people that you work with to fill bigger voids. Okay, I'm really rambling so I will stop!!

Teachers are Gods

Have you ever had a teacher that had no confidence in themselves? Did you like that teacher? I always like to have teachers to have confidence in their subject and that they know they are the best teacher to teach that subject. Teaching is a mind game, the students have to believe their teacher is good at what they are teaching and the teacher has to believe that also. The teacher has to convince the students they are lucky to be in that class. Before they are able to do that they have to convince themselves they are good at what they do.

When I teach new teachers they are always apprehensive about taking command of the classroom. They often ask the question of what gives them the right to be the boss in the classroom. I tell them they are getting a certification I never had and when I teach my students expect me to tell them what to do. They tell me I have so much experience and I know how to command respect of my students. I try to think of a way to get them to understand how to be the boss of their classroom. All of my students will smile when they think of the time I told them when they are in front of the classroom they are the God of the Classroom!

I first tried to say they are the boss of a classroom, but they didn't get the idea of what I was trying to convey. Then I told them to think of themselves as the parent and the students being the children and they tried to convince the students to do things. Students don't want to be convinced, they want to be told what to do. If they are convinced to do something and then they don't want to then you start to loose control of the class and that is a disaster. I then came to the conclusion that if the teacher decides they are God they can be benevolent and kind, but they still can be demanding and forceful.

 I have taught many students giving them this philosophy and it usually works. They start teaching and are very unsure of themselves then when I tell them to become "Gods of they classroom" they start to take charge and gain confidence. I don't know for sure if this is the whole reason, but I know that it is a contributing factor. I joke around with it and if telling people to be like God offends them then I tell them to be more assertive and demanding of their students. They end up asking me if I want them to act as God and I say yes!

Don't call me "Teacher"

When I used to teach English as a Second Language in the Santa Clara Adult School I knew I had to get credibility with my students. On the first day of class I would introduce myself as Scott Phillips (I wrote it on the board). I told them they were welcome to call me Scott (wrote on board). I said I wanted them to think of me as a friend so they could feel comfortable speaking English with me. I said if they felt uncomfortable with such informality they could call me Mr. Phillips (wrote on board) if they wanted to show me respect. I know in many countries they refer to their teacher as "Teacher" as a sign of respect.

 I told my students that in the United States the only students that call their teacher, "Teacher", were kindergarten teachers. I said we couldn't imagine calling our teacher at any other level "Teacher". I said in their country "Teacher" was a sign of respect and in this country calling their teacher "Teacher" is a sign of disrespect. If someone calls me "Teacher" it is like saying, "I am an ESL student". I told them I would not allow them to call me teacher, (I wrote it on the board and put a line through it Teacher). They asked me why "Miss Linda" next door allowed them to call her "Teacher". I laughed at them and told them I asked Linda that once.

She said she has been teaching for so long and tried to fight it at first then gave up and let them all her that. I looked them all in the eye and told them, "I have also been teaching for a long time but I will NEVER give up." Everyone laughed, including me.  Then I kept introducing myself, telling them what and what not to call me. I asked them why they called the teacher next door "Miss Linda". They tell me her name is Linda and they want to show her respect. I said that is nice, but I want to teach them proper English. Part of my job is to teach about American English.

 I told them they can call me Scott or Mr. Phillips (already on board), but they can NOT call me Mr. Scott (wrote it on the board and put a line through it Mr. Scott). I know it is becoming more common these days to call people like that, but I personally think it is a little disrespectful. One person once told me that they think ESL students from Asia do it since they write their last name first so they misunderstand our way of writing first name first. This sounded like a reasonable explanation, but didn't explain why the people from South America do the same thing. In my classes everyone called me Scott or Mr. Phillips.

Other teachers didn't understand why my students didn't call me teacher. They told me it is a sign of respect, and I told them I wanted my students to learn how to live in this country, they already know how to address people in their country. Just because it is right in one place doesn't mean it is right in another.

Acknowledge Receipt

Many fires in California

I have a new boss, I think. I have been working for the boss of the recruiters, but I just learned that boss has a boss (which is a new position). I met the lady last week. It was really nice meeting her and she had never heard of me. I have told my other boss, of the company I who has the contract I work for (if this sounds confusing to you it is confusing to me too) that there is a new military boss. I really didn't have to do that since no one knows what I do nor who I work for. The hardest thing for me is to get resources to do my job. When I go on overnight trips I need to request approval from my military boss.

Training guide dogs in SF

Now is the problem, with my old boss I just sent him a quick short email and he would send me back a one line email that approved my request. The new "boss" isn't so quick. I have sent her a few emails and she never acknowledges receipt of my emails. Not only do I not hear that she received my email I also don't get an approval for my trip. I usually don't know about my trips very far in advance so it was nice when I got an immediate approval of my requests. I just think it is poor etiquette when someone emails a request and the other people doesn't even acknowledge receipt.

SF is beautiful when it has blue skies

The same thing is good etiquette in text messaging. Have you ever sent a person a text message and you don't hear anything back? I don't know if it is only people I know, but I get really irritated when I never hear back from a text I send. Whether it is my children, my coworkers or my friends I think it is rude not to give a quick text back. It is like the people that don't answer their phones when you call and even when you leave a message they don't respond. It gets down to doing the right thing. I wish everyone I knew would just let me know they got the email or the text or the phone call even if it is to say they got mine and will respond with more information later.

Driving across the new Bay Bridge.

Writing mood

Full moon in the sky!

I have written over 400 postings on this blog. Some have been interesting and some have been boring. I have written about my cats, my job, my kids, my friends, and even my lousy days. Sometimes I get inspired and can't wait to sit down and write about something. Sometimes I just want to display my pictures and have to have something for people to read to draw them to the blog. I don't know how much I like to write, but sometimes I feel so overwhelmed with what I want to say that it spills out of my fingers. Sometimes I laugh that I even write this blog. An old friend, yesterday, asked me why I write this blog. I told her I originally started writing it for my grandkids.

I never know what I will write about next.

I started this blog on the weekend of a high school reunion. I originally tried to write every day then I realized that was more than I could do. I needed to be in the mood to write or I couldn't even think about what to write in the first sentence. To me writing is like my running. When I was younger I would do anything not to run. When I was in the Army I was often in staff jobs so I didn't run as much as others. I have tried over the years to start an exercise program, but I have never been able to sustain anything. When I was young I didn't like to write. I did my school work and wrote papers for college, but I rarely did more than the minimum because I couldn't find anything to write about.

You never know how deep the water is unless you go in.

I the years before I started writing this blog I wrote some short stories about things that had happened in my life. Some of these were cleverly written and some were very interesting things that happened to me. Many people that read them said I should write a book. They like my style of writing because I write like I'm talking to you. I am very straightforward and write from my passion not just from following a set rule of literature. Sometimes people have tried to find a deeper meaning in what I have written and that is silly. If there is a deeper meaning then I didn't think about it before I wrote. I write what I want to write and I don't really know who, or why, someone would read what I write.

Oakland graffiti

I found the way to keep running is to sign up for 5K races and pay for them then I have to practice before I run. Last year I ran 2 races a month and this year I have run one race a month. After I finish one I look for the next one to run. I keep it going and I know if I ever stop doing the races I will not stay in shape any more. That is another reason for my blog. I feel compelled to write something if I have a blog. At the beginning of the blog is a graph that says how many people have visited my blog and I like to keep that higher rather than lower. I will keep writing the same things. Sometimes just to write something, sometimes to have people see my pictures, and sometimes because I have something inside me that wants to spill out.

San Francisco City Hall

I am writing another book right now because a certain young lady inspired me. I write when I get passion for it and then I don't for a while. This book will take a while since I want to do it write. I started another blog because I have things I want to write about that are not for general reading. If anyone wants to read it they should ask. I will continue to writing this blog. I look at it as a long letter to my grandchildren. In 30 years from now when they ask what their grandfather was like they can find the blog and find out!

Me at 21 going to visit my big sister.

Running with a friend

All smiles before the race

I ran a 5K again tonight. This was a moonlight run that started at 7pm. There was a 10K that started at 8 and another 5K that started at 8:45. I ran at 7 which meant it was light when I started and was dark when I finished. I was going to run the 10K to prepare for next month, but a friend of mine decided she would run also. My daughter started me doing these races, but after the first couple of races she hasn't run with me. I have never had anyone else run with me in all the races that I have run. It was nice to run with someone and we did very well.

I was able to keep in front

I did my fastest time and I didn't feel it was as long as I usually think. I was able to stay in front of her, but sometimes she made that difficult. I don't know if she will run with me again, but I know I will continue trying to find people to run with me since this was a good experience for me. After we finished she had to go back to work for an hour or two.

We ran along the SF Bay.

Roller coaster Day!

felt like I was riding a bronc!

Today has been one of those days I wish I had stayed in bed! I woke up early with a text message from a woman that is very very special to me and she is back in town. Sounds like that should be and "up", but it is a "down" (like the beginning of a roller coaster ride). She was supposed to be gone for a week and back tomorrow, but she is back today. I haven't heard from her for a week and I got the impression that she came back early because of something negative I had done. Then I tried to call and she wouldn't answer the phone (further down).

cloudy day

When I finally was able to talk to her on the phone she answered the phone, "Hi Honey", which is something she never called me before so ... up to the top of the ride. Then I talked to my boss and he had just gotten off of a conference call with the company. He said they were talking about the government not passing a continuing resolution and how it would affect out jobs. (back down the roller coaster) He said that since our contract was in effect from June to June we will not be affected since the money is already obligated. No change to my job! (back up) During my call to the woman earlier she couldn't hear me on my phone clearly which is often a problem with people I call.

harvesting tomatoes

I decided to call ATT again because I complained about this problem before and they told me they had fixed it. They put me through to a repair person who spent an hour doing research about my Nokia 820 phone. I was patient since I was sitting at home any way and I wanted my phone fixed. I knew she couldn't fix it and I would be given instruction to take the phone into the repair facility and they would give me a new phone. She then asked me to take off the back and take out the SIM card. I cut my nails yesterday so I couldn't get the back off easily. I told her I couldn't get the back off and she said I had to.

harvesting rice

I was frustrated to I got nail clippers and used the file to pry off the top. The space I thought I I was supposed to use was to pry off the glass, not the back. I broke the glass! As soon as I told the lady on the phone that I had broken the glass she said, "well, that voids the warranted, sorry". WHAT!! I got really upset, but I know she has her little book that tells her what to do. I hung up and got in my car and drove to the ATT store. I told the manager my story and he had this look on his face like there wasn't much he could do. As he was talking to me another man walked by and shook the managers hand and said bye. The manager asked me to excuse him for a minute and went to talk to the man.

Dried up sunflowers, like my day felt!

The manager brought the man over to me and introduced him as the Nokia rep. I was a little taken aback. They told me that this man would give me a free phone. He had a Nokia 920 in the car and went to get it. I was shocked. The manager said that the Nokia rep only visits them once a year and he just happened to be in the store right now. He brought the phone in and opened the box. It was red, but it is a more expensive style than I had before. We usually don't like to get new phones because we have to put in all the contacts and download all the apps again. NOT! When I signed onto the phone it downloaded all the information that was on my phone before.

My day ended wonderfully

My contacts were all downloaded, my apps were all automatically downloaded and up dated, and my settings were easy to set up and an hour after my old phone was broken my new phone was in my hand and everything was set up and working. Even my bluetooth got set up quickly and easily. Right now it is 6pm and the day still has a few hours left. I hope it doesn't take another nosedive because I'm exhausted already!!

God Bless America!

Sensitive men

I visited my brother yesterday at the hospital. He and I talked about his family and what his son was doing. I could see him get tears in his eyes. I felt bad and I was upset at myself for upsetting him. I like when he laughs and jokes. He doesn't do that any more, he spends much time reminiscing about his life and talks about serious things. When I saw him tearing up I know I couldn't. I knew I had to be strong and stay dry eyed. That isn't like me, I am usually the one to tear up first, no matter who I am with. This time I couldn't. I stayed with him for a couple more minutes and talked a little more then I left.

I slowly walked back to my car without talking to anyone. I didn't want to loose the hold I had on myself. I had to be alone. I got to the car and let go, I allowed my emotions to go free. After I did that I texted my friend, I told her I was in the car crying. She texted me back, "How often do you cry a week? You are really sensitive!". I was not sure what she meant by this, she didn't ask me what was the problem. I felt she was criticizing me for crying, and I felt like this is one of the times I am supposed to cry and here someone was laughing me me! wow, I felt betrayed. I realized I can't just open up my feelings to people that don't understand me.

I feel a little silly for being so sensitive sometimes. I often joke about my crying and how I can cry at pretty much anything. I often cry at movies, or I used to. There  was a movie a long time ago called Con Air. This movie was about convicts that escaped from the authorities by air. Many people died. At the end of the movie the little girl finds her father in Las Vegas. The plane crash in the background, the buildings on fire, the dead people in the streets, and the father walking into the open. The little girl runs to him and throws out her arms. My tears were flowing. I hated crying, but I thought about the daughter wanting to find her father so much that is all she focused on!

I knew why I was crying which is not always the case. I often cry and don't even realize why. I have cried at really inconvenient times. I have cried when I should have shown strength. I have cried often and I sometimes think it is a chemical imbalance and sometimes I think it is because I am very sensitive. I don't expect my friends, real friends to criticize it, that is just me! Sometimes I joke about it with friends and we laugh about it together. Many years ago I went to the movies with Sarah. I don't remember what the movie was, but it was only Sarah and I. In the middle of the movie when the theater was very dark Sarah leaned over to me and said, "Don't cry Dad!".

The theater was abosolutely black. No light was no light on my face so I don't know how she knew I was crying. I asked her why she thought I was crying. She said, "I am crying so I know you are too!". It is nice when my kids know me so well. I once went to the movies with a date and we were holding hands. I warned her that I cry often in movies and she said she did too. We made a deal that we would squeeze each other's hand when we started to tear up. In the middle of the movie she just started laughing because she realized how much I teared up. After the movie we walked away and laughed a lot! I dated her for a long time.