ESL: Reading Without Your Dictionary

I have been teaching ESL for almost 20 years and it is interesting how many students read with a dictionary next to them. I think about how often I have read with a dictionary. Even when I was learning German in high school and when I lived in Germany, I didn’t rely on a dictionary as often as some ESL students. It takes a long time to read anything if you try looking up every word you don’t know in a dictionary. I think of the times I read books and if I don’t know what a word means, if I ever use a dictionary to look that word up. Maybe once or twice a year I might do that. The best way for a person learning English to read is to read it straight through, underlining (or highlighting) the words that might be looked up in a dictionary. Then after finishing the paragraph, page, or essay if you feel the need to look up a word in a dictionary look up the words underlined (highlighted).  If you do look up a word, then keep a list of those words. Make your own list of vocabulary words. Often you will realize there is no reason to look up every word, you can still understand what you read, even if you don’t understand every word. Isn’t that what the real reason you are reading? Think about the times you watch tv and multi-task. With the tv on you are on the phone, on the computer, running in and out of the room while cooking, or maybe doing homework. Think about not seeing everything on the show, but you still understand what the show is about. Reading is the same thing, you don’t understand every word, but you understand what the essay was about. I had a student a few years ago that came to class all excited. She was so happy she was able to read and ENTIRE book. She read the book HOLES, and it only took her six months. I was happy for her. She was really happy to read complete something. The book was written for middle school students, I know that she didn’t understand over 25% of the vocabulary when she started the book and probably understood over 80% when she finished. She understood the book, maybe not every word! So, when you read don’t read with a dictionary you are going to finish the reading more quickly, and gain more confidence.

You're FIRED!

Yesterday at 3 o'clock in the afternoon I got called by my company and was told that I was not going to be needed after February 10th. I was a little surprised since I have been getting a lot of people lately telling me what a great job I have been doing, and people are often asking me for my help. I work for a company that has a contract with the government and I work directly for the California National Guard. My company gives me a paycheck, but the National Guard tells me what I do on a daily basis. After I was given this devastating news I tried to call my immediate supervisor, Major Williams. The Major was in a class and couldn't talk to me at that minute. I sent him a text message to tell him what I was told, and he sent me a text telling me he would look into it. He contacted his boss and found out that California was going to have their own contractor rather than the national contractor. I was thinking that it would have been nicer to know that information before the phone call from my company. The man that called me was very upset and sad for me when he called me. It is hard to tell someone they don't have a job any more when they didn't do anything wrong. To tell you the truth I sort of knew this was going to happen, but the way it happened wasn't very comfortable to me. It has happened before, it usually happens when I have my boss from 2000 miles away come to visit my office unexpectedly and tells me I must pack up a box with my stuff and escorts me off the premises. I once was called by my boss and told to go to another office in California to fire the manager, since he was on the east coast. I don't know who felt worse, me or the person that was being fired. I will be okay, I just have to wait for another company to be contracted with. (In fact while I was writing this my bosses' boss called to let me know that I would keep my job). When I was in high school I had a job as a dishwasher. I once got a paycheck for $53,440 for 2 weeks of work. I didn't understand why is was so much, then I realized I was doing a very good job and they really liked me. I enjoyed my job, and liked getting big paychecks. I showed it to a coworker and they told me it was supposed to be for $534.40. I walked back in the door and the coworker asked me why I was going to take it back, they told me I should just quit my job, because I would never make that much money if I kept my job. I walked in the door and couldn't believe someone would even think of that. When I owned a bookstore I had to hire and fire people depending on the success of the bookstore or the productivity of employee. I have 3 daughters that will have jobs in the future, I hope that they don't have to go through the kind of phone call I got yesterday!

Motion Sickness

This morning I drove to an Indian Reservation and worked at Hoopa Valley High School, which is 1 hour inland in the mountains, then drove 4 hours and worked on the coastal city of Fort Bragg at Fort Bragg High School. I spent an hour driving 18 miles because I stopped so often to take pictures. I enjoyed the beautiful morning views and the fantastic views from the road. It was also interesting to see a reservation and how people lived. I was a little depressed because man of the roads weren't paved and most people lived in mobile homes. The one funny thing I saw was a drive through coffee place that had a long line. It seemed so much like a big city. Why can't these people get a cup of coffee at home before they leave the house? I was very impressed with the high school and the teachers and students. I had a nice experience there. After I finished I had four hours to do a four hour drive. I left the school quickly and got in my car and drove to the coast. On my way my GPS quit working. With my job the GPS is really a requirement. Luckily I had my computer so I stopped and went to www.mapquest.com and found the direction to Fort Bragg High School. I went down 101 and then took a small road, 271, over the hills to the coast. I was amazed at how beautiful it was. Two lane road that wove through the forest and up and down hills, one lane in each direction, so I couldn't go faster than the speed limit. I stated to feel car sick. My stomach was really upset and I wanted to stop and throw up. There was no area to do that. I was late. My head started to swim. I decided to call the school and tell them I couldn't come. There was no phone reception, so I couldn't do that. There was one turn that I took and all of a sudden I was at the ocean. There was no warning, no peek before I knew I was on the coast. It was spectacular and very beautiful. I will go do that drive sometime when I am not working! I want to share that drive with someone! I can't say enough about it. When I saw the ocean I stopped the car and took some pictures. I was still late, but wasn't sick any more. I got to Fort Bragg High School and there were three students waiting for me. I enjoyed giving them my presentation and slowly started my 4 hour drive home! I finally got home at 8:30 pm. Tomorrow is another school! As I was sick I was thinking about all the times I have gotten motion sickness in the past. When I was in my initial training for the Army I was on the East Coast, near my sister, Sue. One fun weekend she took me with her family to Williamsburg. I enjoyed being with her and Erik, her son. Erik was in the back seat behind me and I was in the front seat next to Sue. I really got car sick and needed to throw up. I told Sue, and she said we would just go a little further. I finally couldn't hold it any more and leaned out the window and threw up out the window. What I didn't think about was the back window was open so  the vomit went out my window and into the back window right on Erik. When we did stop I felt so bad! Many years later when Erik graduated from college he came and stayed with me for a week. When he was visiting me we decided to go deep sea fishing. I go about once every five or six years because I always get sea sick. I wanted to do something fun for Erik, so we went fishing. When we go fishing we usually take the boat out about 2 hours, fish for 2 hours, then take the boat back for 2 hours. After the first hour I was throwing up. Erik had a great time and caught a lot of fish, I spent the whole time throwing up! Justice?

Bigfoot Motel

I drove 7 and a half hours today. I am staying the night at the Bigfoot Motel. I didn't even know this was "bigfoot country". There is a museum and everything. Tomorrow I will be going to the high school on the indian reservation. I am very interested in it. I talked to the lady in the restaurant tonight about the local area. She said she grew up here and has lived here all her life. The town I am in is called Willow Creek, it used to be China Lake, I wonder if the lake dried up to a creek size. She says there are K-8 schools in many communities in the area, and then they all go to the same high school. The high school draws people from a 100 mile radius, can you imagine! It is cold and rainy, or I would go hike in the woods tonight to see if I could see big foot. I'm sure he isn't stupid enough to be out in this freezing rain. I had fun on my drive. Went through a lot of places I have driven before, and then north an hour and then east an hour. This area is beautiful, but not many people live here. I almost ran out of gas on my way up here. I didn't really pay attention very well, and then my low gas light went on and the warning bell rang. I tried to find the closest gas station, but the GPS said 31 miles. I prayed a lot on the way and got there ok. I use a government credit card for gas, and I hoped they would accept it. Everything turned out ok.The experience today reminded me of many years ago when my oldest daughter was about one. I had her and her mother in the car and ran out of gas on the freeway. I felt so bad and my wife yelled at me for an hour as we walked to the gas station. All turned out ok that time, I was just glad I didn't have anyone else in the car today.

On the road again...

Tomorrow I'm driving 6 hours north to Hoopa, CA. Hoopa Valley High school is 81% Native American and 9% white. This should be a fun place to visit. I am leaving at 8am so I can get their early and take lots of pictures on my way and when I get there. I will leave Hoopa at 10:30 and have a 4 hour drive south to get to Fort Bragg, CA by 2:30. I have notified the school in Fort Bragg I might be 5 minutes late, I guess I won't be taking pictures on that drive, but I always wanted to go to Fort Bragg. I will get home on Wednesday late in the evening. On Thursday the drive isn't so far, it is only one and a half hours away. Friday I get a day to do my paperwork and then a three day weekend. I guess it is good that I enjoy driving. While I drive I have audio books playing, so I can listen to a book and concentrate on that instead of thinking how long I am driving. I also have the capability to have my computer on line while I drive and when I get an email I will stop and answer it. When I drive it is just like I am sitting in my living room. I use my GPS so I don't get lost and it also has bluetooth on it and a speaker so I can speak on my phone when necessary. When I drive I sometimes think about when I was young and we drove across the USA from Illinois to California. We have five children in my family. So, seven people in the car and luggage tied to the top we set across the country and drove through the desert. Our car didn't have air conditioning so my parents bought a portable car air conditioner and we put it in the window in the back seat. I remember that air conditioner used water that went over the coils. It had a string you pulled to turn it on, and when it was on water kind of sprayed and dripped inside the car. Think about driving across the desert for 4 or 5 hours with 5 kids complaining about the heat and the wet air conditioner. Makes me want to scream just thinking about it!!
Diet update ... I am on day 8, I started at 197 and now at 191. I will try to get to 175.

Exchange students work both ways!

Last night I was at a casino, Indian Casinos work in weird ways, and I met a Korean college student that was studying in the USA for a year. It was interesting because my daughter is planning on studying in a Korean school, Yonsei, next summer and fall quarters. University of California, all campuses, has an exchange agreement with Yonesi, one of the top schools in Korea, that the students can study at the partnership school, qualifying automatically. Both of my oldest daughters have talked about it, but the second one will actually do it this year. My kids are fluent in Korean, which is not common for Americans, and she will take classes presented in the native language as well as the usual classes given to Americans in English. I was familiar with the program that had kids from the States that went to Korea, and I'm very familiar with Koreans coming her for graduate school. But, this is the first time I found a Korean exchange student that came here for a year to study at the UC. He was a very nice guy and a good representative of Korea, I hope my the same can be said about my daughter when she goes over there. Best of luck Jayne!

Oh, I need to comment about Sarah's grades. Sarah is a great student, and just a nice kid. She is very helpful in her classes and in 5th grade her school started a new award, and she was the first recipient. It was a little funny when she got the award at the awards ceremony. Every student knew the top award and when it was announced we thought Sarah would receive it. The principal had personally called her Mom and I and asked that we attend the ceremony. We waited all through the ceremony and Sarah received the same awards she always did, for all the students that got top scholastic honors, and all the students that got special recognition for other things. I had presumed that Sarah would receive a special award because it was the first time I was called to attend this schools awards ceremony. When the "last" award for the top student in 5th grade was awarded they called up "Sarah", but a different last name. I had my video camera going and panned to my daughter, and her face kind of fell because it wasn't her name that was called. Sarah W. went up and received the award and we were all happy for her, she is a family friend. Then everyone started to shuffle around, getting ready to go home, and the principal came on the microphone and announced one new award for the school. It was an award they had started for the top student in the school, not just the fifth grade. OK, here we go, is what I was thinking. I had the video going and was listening as they were talking about Sarah. I was proud when they said "every teacher wishes they had 30 Sarahs in their class, she is that good". It was a very important moment in my life. The next year I was talking to Sarah's English teacher and was amazed that she used the exact same phrase about my daughter, "Sarah is such a good student that I wish I had 30 of her in the class". All through middle school Sarah got straight As. She almost had a B in her first quarter of her sixth grade in band, then she went to go talk to him and he changed it to an A. Middle school was good, but not as important as high school. The quarter grades came out and Sarah had a B+ in Honors Geometry. She wasn't worried about it because she was sure that she could bring it up. As the quarter progressed she was happy to keep the B+. Semester grades are what is officially posted and when those came out she had an 87%, B+. She was upset during the Winter break because she had gotten a B in only that class, in Honors English she had a 100%, but that didn't help with the B+ in Honor Geometry. Then the second day after school started in January I was looking at her grade and she had an 87%, A-. I was excited about it and called her, I asked her if she had talked to the teacher, like she had her Band teacher in 6th grade. She hadn't seen her new grade, and the looked at in on line and was very excited herself. She had no idea that teacher had changed her grade to an A. Sarah is back on track and I personally think Stanford should reserve a slot for her right now. (in the video notice the lady on the other side of the students from me, in the green sweater, that is my kid's mom (I don't often refer to her as my ex-wife)

Funeral Detail

Last night when I went to bed I didn't have any plans for today, I decided I would just stay home. When I woke up I had 2 messages on my phone and a few emails that helped direct my day. I ended up going to get my work car, at my office which is in the National Guard armory. When I got to the armory there were some soldiers rehearsing for a military funeral. It was nice that they treated the ceremony rehearsal with reverence. I am sure that soldiers often joke around and not be serious. These soldiers were very serious about what they were doing. The practiced folding the flag from the casket many times, they practiced marching with the rifles and flags back and forth, until they smoothly were able to do everything. These are part time soldiers, National Guard soldiers. They came in on their own time and prepared for their extra duty. I was impressed by these people. After I got my car I went to the VA Hospital, I had to get some blood drawn for some tests. I was thinking about how many veterans die in war, versus die of natural causes. Walking through the VA Hospital I see many men and women that served their country, that are getting old or have sicknesses or injuries. I'm also very happy about the quality of care at a VA Hospital. The one I go to is located in Palo Alto, near Stanford. Many of the doctors in the VA Hospital are Stanford graduates. The facility is outstanding and the personal attention that everyone gets, no matter what their rank was can't be beat. Eventually everyone dies, and I am proud that every military person can get a military funeral ceremony if they desire. I am proud to work with the National Guard and hope everyone understands the sacrifices these citizen soldiers make for their country! God Bless America!

My Mom is Coming to Visit

Today I picked up a military computer. What that really means is it is a Dell computer that takes an access card to log onto it and it won't allow you to download anything from a USB drive or off a CD. It really limits you on what you can do on it, but it allows you to keep things secure. So, now when I go to work I carry the military computer, my company computer, and my personal computer. I don't like doing personal things on a work computer, so I do most of my work on my personal computer, then when I need to do slide presentations I use the company computer, and when I check my military email I will use the military computer. Ok, this is getting crazy!! Especially when you think that I drive my car to my office, then pick up my government car to go visit schools and everything I leave home with has to go to the new car and then back again when I go home.

Diet update ... 193 today, 4 pounds in 4 days. I totally cheated last night, I went to a Thai restaurant. Oh well, I fell off the wagon yesterday, but got back on today.

When I got home today I realized my house is really getting messy. Every room has "stuff" everywhere. So, I decided to unclutter one room a day. I just decided that sometime my mother may actually come visit me. She has been here a total of 5 times in the 8 years I have lived here. So, if I imagine her coming, it means that I must have the house presentable. So, today I uncluttered the kitchen, well, really half of it. My mom won't be here until June at the earliest, so I have some time. I have had the same liquor bottles on my kitchen counter for about 6 of 7 years. People have commented that I must drink a lot, since I have 6 different bottles out. They ask me how I can drink so much when my kids come over often. I tell them the same bottles have been there so long it has just become part of the decoration. I took down the "decoration" today. There were 2 bottles of Soju there that Korean friends gave me as housewarming gifts when I moved in, each bottle had about 3 glasses out of them from when they were given  to me I had a glass of it with the person that gave me the bottle. Both those bottles got dumped down the drain. (then I remembered the homeless shelter is only a few blocks away and I should have taken it to them) There was a bottle of expensive sake from a Japanese lady that visited me. That bottle has sake, and flakes of gold. I think it is cool, the gold is for good health and fortune, that bottle got put away. There was a cheap bottle of sake also, and that hadn't been opened, so that got put away. I put the Malibu rum in the fridge since I knew I would never remember where I had put it if I put it away. Then I threw away the loaf of bread I bought for Thanksgiving and the potatoes that were growing mold on the roots. I wiped down all the counters and now it looks good. Ok, now my mom can come if she just sees the one side of the kitchen. Tomorrow the other side of the kitchen. (is this spring cleaning in the winter?)

Long time student

Yesterday I went to Antioch High School. It was a great experience, the students really were well behaved and excited about their futures. The National Guard and Navy recruiters were there. The Navy recruiter said he still is supposed to put in one applicant a month, but since the Navy isn't accepting anyone it is hard for him to make mission. Can you imagine that his job is to get people excited about joining the Navy, get them all prepared, have them take tests and physicals, then after working with them for a couple of months telling them that he is sorry but there are not jobs in the Navy right now! Not the best of circumstances. I also helped some students with Math. During the afternoon I got a call from a girl that had been a student of mine about 8 years ago. I remembered her and it was nice talking on the phone. She suggested we get together and have dinner and I said ok. She wanted to talk about things that were going on in her life. She had been married when she was in my class, and was now filing for divorce. The kicker, though, is five years ago she had a child ... well, not A child ... she had triplets! This woman is from Vietnam and about 4'8" and weighs about 90 pounds. Can you imagine when she was pregnant, I'm sure she double her weight and was shaped like a cube. She is going through some rough times and it was good for both of us to sit and talk for a few hours. Good luck to her! Oh, the picture is of Anderson's Pea Soup on I5 where I take Jayne to meet her ride to San Diego!

Bad Influences are not bad

Today was my first day back to work after 2 weeks of vacation! I made a bunch of appointments for the rest of the month, tomorrow I will be on the road again. Tomorrow the driving starts, Antioch High at 9am, so I need to leave around 6:30. It will be hard since I haven't gotten up before 10am for the past 2 weeks. I look forward to Friday when I will work at my daughter's school. I will be working with students that I substituted for 3 years ago, I wonder if they will remember me. Next week is Hollister, 1 hour drive, Tuesday is back north to Hoopa, California, 6 hours north. I work there Wednesday, but I look forward to visiting the Indian Reservation there ... I can't wait till the pictures. I will also be working in Arcata while I'm up there, and maybe go back the following week to McKinleyville and then Eureka. I like driving that far north, and hope the sun is out so the pictures turn out better. After my six hour drive north, the next day I will drive 3 hours south, and then the month continues to be "on the road". I'm listening to some good books these days so I don't even know the time goes by, with the interesting scenery and the intriguing stories. I love my job! Yesterday my middle daughter went back to school in San Diego. I drove her an hour away to rendezvous with the girls that she was going to go the rest of the way with. As we got there we noticed a electronic sign over the freeway that there was snow on the route she planning on going, so she went a different way. It still took her over 12 hours to drive the seven hour drive. As I was driving back I was thinking about Jayne growing up. I thought about the sports teams she was on. When we came back from Korea, Jayne was in third grade. She started playing sports when she was in fourth grade. First soccer, she had never played before and all the other girls on the team had played since Kindergarten. Jayne did ok, she picked it up fast. I went to every game and her team did great. The coach yelled at the girls like a high school football coach. Foul language, yelling at the refs, and telling the girls how bad they were. The team won some close games, the coach got the girls to play their hardest. I wasn't happy with the way the coach brought out the best in the girls. In softball Jayne's teams were pretty good, I was happy with the coaches and the way they encouraged the girls. Jayne played soccer until she got to high school, and softball too. I never forgot that original coach and his way of treating the team. Jayne used to talk to me about him and asked why he yelled like that. She thought he acted like that because he didn't think the team would do very well, but she told me that the girls played worse than they were able to, because they resented him yelling like that. Some parents may be upset when their kids encounter people that can't control their emotions and their language around their kids. I learned that the kids know what is right and wrong, and if they never work with people that are "foul" then they don't know what to expect in the future. All three of my daughters played sports from the time we came back to the States until they started high school. The oldest played softball in high school, the middle was in drama and track and field, and the youngest will be in volleyball and softball in high school. She quit playing soccer when she was in middle school. Her softball coaches were wonderful. She got on a new team in middle school, and they didn't win a game. She learned a lot about softball and sportsmanship from her coaches. I was so happy that there was a woman that was one of the coaches. It is surprising how few women coach girls sports teams. Debbie was wonderful, not only as a coach, but as a person. She truly taught my daughter how to gracefully loose, which they did a lot that first year... and how to gracefully win,which that same team did a lot their last year. Kids get good and bad influences throughout their "kid life" and you just need to just hope that they learn from everyone!

Do what you're going to do, Don't do what you won't!

Today when I got up I went to the gym. I have been going for the past 3 days, since I decided to start my diet. I am serious about this diet. I have only eaten fresh fruit and my soup (oh, and I cheated with ice cream) in those 3 days. I also take vitamins. I thought I was starting at 190, but on the gym scale it was 197 :(. Today I weighed myself and it was 194! I'm on my way! When I dieted before I had a receptionist, Nancy, who was a body builder. I was the only office that had a receptionist that was able to be a bouncer. She often wore sleeveless blouses and had shoulders that any man would envy! I asked her what the best way to diet was, she said to forget all the fad diets, the most important thing was to limit you caloric intake, and increase your exercise. I asked her what was the best exercise. She replied with something that was very profound, and she would be surprised to know that I still think about it. She said the best exercise is something I will do, not that I won't do. I don't know if that makes sense to anyone, but I use this philosophy in many things I do now. I know that I will go to the gym and go on the elliptical for 20 - 30 minutes. I know that I will lift some weights for 10 or 15 minutes. Anything more than that I am not sure I will do. I will play sports if I can find someone to play with. I'm not sure what else I will do, but I know I won't run 2 miles every day, but I might sometime. I know what I will eat, I like my soup, so I eat that, usually one container of soup either for lunch or dinner, or both. I will eat a small steak sometimes, since i have a few in my freezer. I will eat apples and bananas, but not usually oranges. So, when I diet I do what I will do, and don't do what I won't! I have applied this to other things in my life. I teach ESL. When my students ask me what the best way to study English I say do what you will do and don't do what you won't. If you will listen to music, then do it. If it doesn't fit your life style, then don't. I always suggest that my students read books to improve their English. When they ask what kind of books I tell them to read children's books, usually written for 4th or 5th graders. They ask why. I tell them because I know they might actually read a children's book, but an adult book would be too hard to finish. I tell them to read what they will read, but don't force themselves to try to read something they won't read. I also use this with personal relationships, if I like someone I will try to do things for them, but I know that eventually I will do what I will do, and won't do what I won't do. It is hard to change my routine, and sometimes I can successfully, but usually whatever new comes into my life will fit into my routine. When I got my 2 cats I knew I had to fit them into my routine, I had to feed them the way I would, and not the way I wouldn't. So, I got one of those water bowls that I didn't have to refill often, and I got a food bowl that I could fill with food and keep that filled. The cats are happy, I am happy to have the company, and I found out things I will do, and don't have to do anything I won't do.

Soup Chef!

New Years Eve was supposed to be memorable. To keep this short, it wasn't. I was thinking about memorable New Years Eves. The one I remember the fondest was 2000. For many months people were forecasting terrible things happening. Planes were supposed to fall out of the air, trains were supposed to get misdirected and ram into each other, and stop lights were supposed to malfunction and then cars would get in pileups. Y2K was going to be the end of the earth since computers were not going to tell if it was 2000 or 1900. I was with my entire family in the living room watching tv. The three girls, my wife and I watched the new year unfold in Australia, nothing happened; China, nothing happened; Britain, nothing happened. We no longer feared that Y2K was going to be the end of the world, not that we really feared anything would happen really. It was fun. We had sparkling cider at midnight and then went to bed. That was the last new years eve I spent with the whole family, not another new year's eve was spent with any of the kids since then. During the day I did something I didn't do all year last year, I made soup. I haven't made soup for a long time, but since I started my diet I need to. My soup is the secret to the diet. My soup is wonderful! My daughter always asks me to make it, she likes it so much. I had a female friend visit me last night and she was hungry, so I gave her a little. This lady is VERY picky, but she loved my soup. It always makes me happy when people ask me the recipe, and they always get upset when I tell them I just put in all the spices next to my stove. It's true, I just put a little of this and a little of that. I take 4 hours to cook my soup, and it is cheap, and it lasts me for a week, and I cook it again the next Sunday. The background of my soup is kind of interesting. I have a very good friend that is a general manager of a hotel. She is one of a wonderful lady and runs a very very nice hotel. I used to teach in her hotel for a while. I taught the housekeeping staff English enough to be able to greet the guests and answer their questions. I also taught the maintenance staff. The maintenance staff was the most important, did you know they were the ones that manned the walkie talkies during emergencies? So, it is important for them to speak English! This manager was talking to me a few days before Thanksgiving. She asked me what I was going to have, and I told her I always cook turkey, even though there is only one person eating it. She said I should make soup with the carcass. I laughed and told her I was a single man and don't do much in the kitchen. She said she was a single woman and she didn't understand why just because I was a man I didn't do much in the kitchen. She explained to me that one reason that she was such a good hotel manager was because she had a background in working in the kitchen. She made sense, it was true that her hotel kitchen was marvelous. The manager then told me how to make soup, boil the turkey for 2 hours, until the meat fell off the bones. Then put in potatoes, onions, garlic, and carrots (Sarah doesn't like cooked carrots so I don't do that any more) and some spices. I had some spices next to my stove that someone used once and put those in. My soup was GREAT!! I learned how to do the same thing with chicken, I take off the skin first. If you are lucky, maybe I will offer YOU some of my famous soup! Happy New Year!!

Diet

Yesterday Sarah came over so my friend could fix her computer. He spent 3 hours doing what would have taken me all day to have done, at least that is what Sarah said. While we were waiting Sarah asked me for some ice cream. She knows I ALWAYS have ice cream. I guess I am kind of addicted! She asked if I had any "good" ice cream. She looked at what kind I had and she didn't like chocolate cluster ice cream. I asked her what "good" ice cream. She said she wanted Neapolitan. I said ok, if she could pronounce it right! She ended up pronouncing it correctly, so I drove to Safeway to buy ice cream. As I walked in I was struck with an idea, remember I'm random, I decided that I was going to start on my diet again. I think I know how to diet, I have done it before. In fact, I once lost 40 pounds, from 210 to 170. Now that I think back on it I was a little amusing, I went in for my annual medical check up and I seriously asked the doctor how to stop loosing weight. I was like a weight loss machine. I found the secret to loosing weight was to eat. Not a lot, but eat every 2 hours. I at something every 2 hours, so I was never really hungry. I tried to limit what I ate to 200 calories each time I ate. I found that to diet was a way of life. I bought exactly what I would eat each week. I didn't snack, and I didn't go places I would be tempted to eat out of my diet. I did cheat, sometimes. I remember the time I went to McDonald's and had a Big Mac. It was that big of a deal that 7 years later I remember that exact feeling. I guess I will do that again. I liked when I went in the gym and they asked me to take another picture because the picture they had taken when I signed up didn't look like me any more. I will try to post those to pictures on here when I post this blog. I just weight myself and I am 192, my doctor called me obese a few months ago! I will go to a party tonight, so I will start tomorrow. I will try to keep the readers up to date by posting my date every month. Wish me luck!

Randomness

Yesterday I did nothing. I played Settlers of Catan a few times on line, and learned how to use my new clothes steamer, and did some cleaning. It is fun to do nothing sometimes, allows you to get energized for the next few days. I wonder if we do the same for years too, do nothing for a few years to prepare us for the coming avalanche of things to do in the future... or have done in the past. One reason I liked Indiana Jones movies was it was constant action from beginning to end, you finish the movie looking at your watch and wondering where the time went. Sometimes years go that way, you look at the calendar and wonder where the months went. I guess I'm getting old when I realize that. If you have read a few of my writings you know that I go in random directions. I do that when I speak and teach too. I often try to change that, I try to do things in a methodical step by step direction. But, it goes "random" pretty quick. When I teach I know I should introduce the subject, then build on that step by step to get to a final goal ... but I go off on tangents pretty easily and I don't even know where it will end. It is the same when I write here. Today I thought I would write about how much I have affected people throughout their lives, without me even knowing about it. I was going to talk about how this blog affected my sister to write her blog, www.suesgene.blogspot.com. Then I started writing and thought about writing about how American adults play games and how few other countries have adults playing games with other adults and/or children. Then I thought about how I went through the day yesterday thinking about what I was going to write in my blog and decided to talk about how I got a new device no one ever showed me how to use and how we do things the same way our parents did, or teach the way our teachers did. As I was writing the two cats demanded my attention, one spilled open the silverware drawer and the other laid down on the keyboard and I was going to write about how things through our lives don't allow us to reach the goals we had thought we wanted, and instead we reach the goals that we really did want. As I was thinking about all those things I realized that I really wanted to write about my philosophy of being an Angel, and how I really don't want to be, but I couldn't find the Bible verse I wanted to quote. I guess those will all be topics for future writing, because I really want to write about all those topics! Today I just wanted to write about how random things go through our heads all at the same time. I took a class on using music in the classroom a few years ago. The teacher suggested we play music during the time students were doing seat work. Her rationale was that silence wasn't natural. In nature you have a lot of background noise. Either animal sounds, wind rustling the trees, crickets, waves, always something. So, she suggested that if you quietly play music while the students were studying in class their minds wouldn't wander so much. They could concentrate more on what they were doing, and instead of thinking about what they were going to have for lunch, or what their mother was going to yell at them for, or what they were going to write about when they got home they would be listening to the background music. Then she explained that the music you play should follow some criteria. Most important was it shouldn't have any words, or you would sing along with it instead of it just being background sound. The best music should be baroque music, because it is at the same rhythm as a resting heart. I thought maybe the best thing to play was those CDs (at the time I thought about tapes, tells you how long ago this class was) that have natural sounds, like ocean waves or forest sounds (but definitely not jungle music). I have done this in a few classes I have taught and it usually works well after the students get used to it. I have even had students complain when I stop doing it. See how random this writing goes, I had no idea I was going to talk about that today, I haven't thought about it for a long time. I wonder what I will write about tomorrow ...

Gift Giving ...

Today I took a friend downtown San Jose to go to the Tech Museum. She ended up staying there for 7 hours, and will go back again later because she didn't see it all. Then I took the cats to the vet to get their booster shots. I had a good day, sitting in the house and watching it rain outside! In the evening I took my daughters (I can't say "kids" any more) to the Outback Restaurant to use the gift certificate my mom gave us so we can have dinner together, THANKS MOM. It was a great gift and I was really happy when I received it. I have come to realize the best gift you can give someone is to appreciate it when you are given a gift. I wear a gold chain around my neck that my parents gave me when I was in college, they got it when they were in Saudi Arabia. It helps me remember them. On the chain I wear a pendant of the "lone cypress". It is there to remind me also ... of my ex-wife. I gave her the pendant for Christmas many years ago, and she threw it back at me telling me I was very cheap and she was angry that it wasn't bigger. I kept it, and wear it now to remember how important it is to appreciate any gift I get. My daughters often give their mom gifts, and they know that she will always take it back and get what she wants. I know how stressful it is for me to pick out a gift. I guess I could always get gift certificates, but to me that isn't as personal as a gift. But, if someone gives a personal gift, I think it is a little rude to take it back. I do see one exception, I gave my daughter a bottle of my favorite perfume this Christmas, just to have her remind me that I gave the SAME perfume last year to her! And she never wears it. I guess she doesn't want to smell good to old men!

Lines and lines and then more lines ...

Today was a great day, making it officially a great weekend!! Thursday bowling with the kids, Friday wrapping gifts then dinner with the kids, Saturday lunch with a couple of friends and then GAME NIGHT with the kids again!! (that was the highlight of the YEAR!), and then today a friend of mine made lunch for me (his cooking wasn't half bad). When I went to bed last night my plans were to meet some of my students at a sports bar to watch football, but I got a call at 9am to help a friend of mine take her brother's visiting family to the outlet mall and then at 11am to go over to Don's so he could fix me lunch. We had some soup and baked check, then went over to the sports bar, then I let him stay at my place while I went with another friend to help her take her family and her brother's family to the Gilroy Outlet Mall. I don't like to go shopping on normal days, this is the day after Christmas, EVERYONE was shopping. I didn't do shopping today, I was people watching. It was fun. I was trying to herd everyone together, and make sure no one got lost, and in the mean time I saw some really interesting things! Someone tell me why they were standing in line for 2 hours to get INTO the Coach Store. Then once they got in their and found something to buy (why do the most expensive stores have the least amount of merchandise on the floor?) there was another line, that took at least an hour, so they could buy something. Ok, I couldn't hold my laughter! Poor guys ... you know the men wouldn't wait for that unless the woman TOLD them they would! There was a line of about 50 people just to get something at Starbucks. There were lines in every store, not to get into other stores. I talked to some of the sales people, as I was waiting for the people I wasThe  with to wait in line! The sales people were cranky and tired and exhausted. Then there were lines for the bathroom, those are the worse. When I cornered the group in one store, everyone was standing in a line I went to one of my favorite stores, a kitchen gadget store. I love looking at the weird stuff they dream up to sell. Today I saw the most useless "gadget" I could imagine. I think they called it the "cake tester". You know how when you cook a cake you take a toothpick and poke it into the cake to see if it is cooked throughout? Well, this gadget was a stainless steel "toothpick" that you buy so you can stick it in a cake to see if it is done. Is that as useless as I think? Now I know why my mom needed 3 drawers for kitchen gadgets!! Can anyone tell me why some women wear skin tight pants and 6inch heels to walk around the outlet mall? And, where do some of these women get these shoes that are plaid, and why would they wear them? What about that man that was carrying his wife's umbrella for her while she was carrying the bags, but the umbrella wasn't over either one of them, it was over the bags between them? The best thing about going shopping is people watching, but then again I realize they are people watching me also!!

Happy Christmas

Today is Christmas. I went to lunch with two friends. I took my Chinese friend, Don, to try burritos at my favorite Mexican restaurant. I enjoy sharing things with him, he appreciates everything and is always fun. After I took Don home I went home and my kids came over. We played an old card game called Flinch. My siblings and I used to play Flinch at my grandmother's house when I was 9. We played with some real "characters". Besides my three siblings, I was the youngest, we played with Uncle John, Uncle Frank, and my grandmother. My father was in Korea for a year when we lived in Illinois. Uncle Frank was my mom's uncle, my great uncle. He used to do things like throw coins in the yard for the kids to run after, he was famous for eating anything on a sandwich. He would say, "it all ends up in the same place". Uncle John was my mother's brother. He was just a few years older than my mom, he was a lot of fun and we always enjoyed when he was around. He was going to college at the time we lived there, but came and visited often. He liked to have fun, like when we found an old parachute in the barn (they lived on a farm) and he hooked it up to the back bumper of his car and it almost ripped the bumper off. We would play Flinch often, it was fun to play with all the relatives. I won often, and they would all be upset and accuse me of cheating. The problem was, I didn't know how to cheat. The wouldn't accept that and just say I cheated. I didn't know how to increase my chances of winning by cheating. I won because I was lucky, not skill and not cheating. Today was fun, there was lots of laughter and yelling. Whenever we play games Jayne always wins. Today we played 3 games and Jayne won the first game. After that no one else cared who won as long as it wasn't Jayne. I laughed a lot because I knew exactly how Jayne felt. The kids didn't know why I was laughing, but any of my siblings would know. It is fun watching my kids grow up and overcome the same obstacles we had when we were young! Live is Good!!!

Memorable Christmas

Since I have been alone, since 2001, I have always had the same family tradition for Christmas Eve (except for one year). I always get together with my kids for Christmas Eve dinner and exchange gifts. One very fun time we had was when we all tried to teach Lindsey how to drive. She had just gotten her permit and we went over to a large parking lot near my office and she drove around the parking lot, and even spent about 5 minutes on the open road. It was a lot of fun and very memorable. The past few years we have been going to a Japanese restaurant where they cook at your table. It is fun and as the kids get older that time we spend together gets more and more valuable. I love my daughters very much and cherish every moment I get to be with one or all three of them. Our first year in Korea, when Jayne was 1, we lived in a very very small apartment. It was on the fifth floor of a walk up. It had no furniture and we sat and slept on the floor. That was ok since Koreans heat the floor and it was warm and cozy. I had some difficulties, it had no shower so I had to take sponge baths, on the unheated enclosed balcony where the toilet was. It had no water pressure in the morning until 10, so we had to fill pots with water the night before. Life was tough, but our family was together and we had some great times! I worked as a tutor for many hours a day, 7 days a week. Christmas didn't have any significance as a holiday so I was supposed to work. I did take that one day off. We had talked about what to get the kids for Christmas. We decided I would get things on Christmas eve at the underground market by the bus station. I worked that day until 9pm. I had picked up the gifts on the way to my last appointment. I got 2 big bags of toys and stuff. I took the subway home and walked home from the Songnae subway station. I walked up the 5 flights of stairs and finally got home around 10:30. The kids, Lindsey and Jayne, were asleep under the tree. They were waiting for Santa Claus. They were so cute. We put the gifts under the tree, next to the kids, very quietly. Then I SLAMMED the door and then opened it as the kids were waking up and yelled down the stairs, "Bye Santa, thanks for coming". Lindsey jumped up and bolted out the door and down the stairs. All the way she was yelling, "Santa, wait for me, wait for me!!". I was smiling and trying to hid my laugh. We spent the next 2 hours opening gifts and playing with the new toys. Thinking of that story always brings a smile to my face.

SSSssshhhhhhhh...

I am a secret shopper. If I told you what that means, I would have to kill you! ... Okay, that isn't quite true. If I told you what that means I would not be able to be a secret shopper in your shop. Today my assignment was to go to an electronic store and inquire about buying a camera. Then I must buy something worth at lease $25, and then bring it back in to the store and return it to the store. The company wants me to evaluate it's employees and the store itself. I have to go into the bathroom and comment on its cleanliness. I really believe a store can be evaluated by its bathroom. Today the men's room had no sign on the door, it had the velcro there to put the sign, but someone had taken down the sign. The bathroom wasn't really dirty, just not clean ... can a bathroom be attractive? Today I was supposed to "shop" for a camera. It was really a good opportunity for me since I am looking for a camera any way. I went to the camera section and had to wait for about 10 minutes until the other customer had been waited on. Sometimes I feel like yelling to the employee, "Hey, I'm evaluating you, I'm more important than that other person." I just quietly waited for the sales associate to finish and he came over to me. I asked him about a specific camera, and found the power attachment didn't work and I couldn't find out how it worked. I didn't mention that on my write up to the company. I had to choose one camera that I had asked about so I had them show me a camera under the glass counter. It was a camera I have been looking for so it was good. I asked the sales associate comparison questions with the other camera that was there. I talked to him about the cameras, and took some pictures using the two different cameras. The batteries worked on these cameras, and that is what I wrote the company about. After finishing with the camera section I had to buy something for $30 so I just looked at the shelves for that amount. A very nice girl came buy to help me choose the right item, and she put her sticker on it to show that she had helped me to pick the item. I almost told her not to worry about it, that I would be bringing the item back in and hour. She was nice and helpful, so I wrote about how helpful she was so the company would read her name on my store evaluation. It took me about 30 minutes to do the shopping, then another hour to write the evaluation, and I get paid $20 to do the job. I don't know how much that works out in a wage, but it is kind of fun, and makes me feel a little powerful. So, just don't tell anyone that I am doing this, and if you see me shopping in your store treat me with RESPECT! And, put that sign on the bathroom door and clean the bathroom.

Speaking English

This morning I met a friend and had some coffee together. We talked about the importance of immigrants speaking English when they come to this country. After the coffee I went to teach at a company, engineers that come here for a few months and then return to Shanghai. The engineers come here and they work LONG days of 12 - 16 hours. They don't have transportation, so the company puts them in apartments that are walking distance to the office. They walk to the office, work long hours, then walk home and sleep. During the weekends they are often tired and just want to sleep, or don't have transportation to travel and see the area. The survive here, but barely. Then the company wonders why they have such a bad attitude when they allow the engineers to visit the USA. These engineers have good English skills, but they are hesitant to go out into the public. Even in the office they don't really have casual conversations with their English speaking coworkers. Talking with my friend reminded me of when my family returned back from Korea. Lindsey went to Korea when she was 3, and came back when she was in 5th grade. She spoke English before she went to Korea and spoke ok when she came back. Jayne was 1 when she went to Korea and didn't speak much, and came back when she was in 3rd grade, her English as very minimal. Sarah was born in Korea and didn't know more than 10 English words when she came to the US. When we arrived at San Francisco airport and the seat belt lights went off Sarah said something in Korean and the other two girls and their mother laughed. I asked what she said and I was told that Sarah said that now we were in the USA that they could only speak English. The reason it was so funny was because she was the one that didn't speak English, but she was adamant that they should speak ONLY English. When I was in the Army I lived in Huntsville, AL. When I was there I had a Boston Terrier and took the dog to dog shows around Alabama and Tennessee. It was fun and I met some great people. My dog did okay, but wasn't ever going to do very good, just okay. One of the men that I met, and I became good friends with was an old German man. He had a very nice german shepherd that did about as well as my dog in competitions. He and I started going to dog shows together in his old VW. As we drove to dog shows he began telling me about himself and his story was fantastic! He was a scientist in Nazi Germany during the Second World War. After the war he was riding his bike from southern Germany to his home in Hamburg in northern Germany. He stopped at his old friend's house on his way. His friend, Vincent Von Braun, was the "father of the V2 rocket". He was putting a team together and asked my friend if he wanted to go to the USA to help develop a rocket program. My friend said okay, and called his wife that he would be back in six months, since that was how long the contract was for. Von Braun was sitting next to my friend on the plane as it took off and said that it would be the last time they would see Germany. When asked why he said that in six months the families would be brought to the USA and they would end up settling there. The team developed the rockets that sent men to the moon. They ended up taking their families to Huntsville because it reminded the scientists of the mountainous Alps. When the families came to Alabama Von Braun called them all together and told them that they will only speak English from then on, no more German, even at home. So, that was that ...

Oxford Seminars class of December 2010

I haven't written in a while. I haven't been that busy, but didn't feel a passion to write. Yesterday I finished my last class of the year, in San Francisco. The December class was 14 students. This was a great bunch of students that all had a specific purpose for taking the class. I often have students that pay more than $1000 for the class and then they wonder what they will do after the class. I have had classes that 80% ended up going to their normal lives after taking my class. This class we had one girl that will leave right after Christmas to go to Chile (isn't it summer there in January?), one man will go to Japan and get married and live there for a year, one guy is on his way to Spain, and another woman is going to New Zealand. This class had one of the most beautiful women I have ever had in my class, she was going to go to the Philippines and teach, but plans change at the last minute. I was able to advise a couple of people where to go, I usually suggest Taiwan because it is warm in the winter, otherwise Korea is a great place. I spend 3 consecutive weekends, Saturday and Sunday 10 hours a day, trying to teach future teachers different ways to teach English in other countries. I try to show my students different ways to have exciting and interesting classes. I often tell them that their students can't learn if they can't laugh, so we spend a lot of time on different games that we can use to teach English and I try to give them experience in teaching classes. Rather than having them use most of the time reading during class, then discuss the reading; I have my students read for homework and then we discuss the reading during the class. With the extra time I give each student the opportunity to teach classes each day of our course and even try to bring in actual ESL students for them to teach. I am almost always amazed at the growth of my students, from the first class they teach to the practicum exercise that is like their final exam. I try to make my students realize that the class they use for their practicum can be used for the demonstration lesson they do when they attempt to get a job. I also have them dress in nice clothes so they feel like teachers. I feel over all my students get good experience in my class. This month we had a girl that had taken the first 2 weekends of the class with another instructor and then did her practicum with my class. It was interesting to see the difference between the way my students teach and others. My students are great!!

Is it LOVE ...

On Monday I drove to Lower Lake again, I really enjoy that drive and the schools there are nice. I was a little upset when I was there and the counselor was telling me some of the things the recruiters did. One recruiter parties with the students, another takes students to the office and tries to pressure them into signing paperwork to go into the military. The recruiter that works with me had been there the previous week and saying how he hates the area and how he hates visiting that school. It made me wonder why I go to the school, which is to help the recruiter to work well with the schools. Oh well, I must continue! After Lower Lake I drove to Ferndale, 4 hours north of Lower Lake. Tuesday I worked in Ferndale High, which has 34 seniors. It was a fun school and the students scored very high on the test. I drove back that day taking 100 pictures on the way, even though it was raining all the way (6 hours). Wednesday I worked at Dublin High then Deer Valley High. Those are huge schools that have more people in the senior class than the schools on the previous days have in their whole school. On my trip I stayed in a hotel and had nothing much to do so I was talking to a girl I know about a guy she had met a few months ago. She told me all the things she didn't like about him and could not understand anything she saw in him. Well, she said he was handsome and had a great job. She said she didn't like the way he treated her and never liked to do the things she liked. She likes to travel and he likes to stay home. She stopped seeing him for a few months, had a couple of other boyfriends in the mean time, then he called and she was excited to see him again. She asked me what was wrong with her and I said simply that she was in love. She asked why, and said there were many things she didn't like about him and really didn't like hanging out with him and I told her it sounded like they were married already. Why have the honeymoon period and just go straight to the period where you are comfortable with each other. In fact, isn't it true that we can't rationalize who we fall in love with? I think that when we find that person that we want to be with, but don't know why .... then isn't that love? Love is when we don't know why we want to be with a person, yet we will do anything to be with them. Am I wrong?

Friends

Today I taught again in San Francisco. I did much better and my students were great! I really think every class gets better. I invited some guys from France to come to my class today, with some guys from China so my students had some actual ESL students to teach. The classes they taught were very good, and the visitors had a great time, that they will never forget. Isn't it interesting how quick we can make friends, but does it really last. We all have many friends over the years, but what happens to them. I wonder how things like Facebook and email will affect the way we keep in touch with friends in the future. Sam Retherford was my best friend from 6th - 8th grade. We were always together, he picked me up every morning and we walked to school together. He lived across from me and we were in Boy Scouts together. Everything that happened to me I would run over to his house and talk to him about. Whenever he had nothing to do he would come over to my house and we would do "nothing" together. Sam moved when we went into 9th grade, his father was transferred to Washington state. Of course we both said we would keep in touch, and we probably sent a letter within the first week. Who am I kidding, neither of us tried to keep in touch, even though we did have telephones even that long ago. Life went on without Sam, I went to high school, graduated, went to college, majored in Elementary Education and ROTC. In the summer after my junior year I went to ROTC summer camp. The first day we had to go on a bus and get our uniforms and I was sitting next to a guy from another school. We talked about where we went to college and where we went to high school. We talked about what we would like to do in the Army. We got in line and he was in front of me. We got our uniforms and then went to pick up our name tags, the guy I had been talking to on the bus picked up his name tag and it said "RETHERFORD". I told him that I used to have a friend named Retherford, and his first name was Sam. He told me his first name was Sam. Then we realized that we were best friends when we were young. It felt so strange and we couldn't even understand that we were the same people, but it was true. In the 6 weeks of summer camp Sam and I built our friendship up again. We were together often and found out everything that had gone on since we had last met. When the summer camp was over we said good bye, and of course told each other we would keep in touch. And of course, we both went back to our colleges and didn't keep in touch. I went into the Army, got my training in Alabama, went to Germany, and then back to Alabama for more training then was assigned to Alabama for a few years. During my time in Alabama I had to go on a business trip to Washington. I was in a meeting and I noticed a familiar face in the same meeting. Sam was there. He had joined the Army, gone to training in Indiana, gone to South Carolina, the back to Indiana for more training, then was in Washington. He had gotten married and we promised to keep in touch. We didn't. A few years later I was sent to Korea. I was a commander and often got paperwork from the General's office. The General never signs his own correspondence. I don't even have to write the next part, but, the signature on the General's correspondence was Sam Retherford. I called him and we met once. We laughed about the way we always ran into each other. About 15 years later I had access to military email addresses and found Sam Retherford was listed. I emailed him and said hi, he emailed back and said he lived near Washington D.C. and if I was ever in the area I should let him know. That hasn't happened yet, but I wouldn't be surprised if sometime Sam and I crossed paths.

Twentieth Class

Today was day 3 of my Oxford Seminars class. I should be able to do this class in an outstanding manner. Today was not the best day :(. I was in cruise control all day. I feel like the students didn't get their money's worth today. The truth is that it was a good class, the students have shown how much they have learned and come along. The students did a better job today in teaching their classes than I did. Isn't that what a teacher wants, to have their students do better than they do? I am proud of my class of teachers, they ROCK. After class I went to my first professional hockey game with David, Jonathon, and Elaine. I am so happy to have gone with them. Without the great company the game would have really been boring, but instead the game was fun!

Willits High School

Today I went to Willits High School. This school is on Highway 101, just on the side of the freeway. It is was an older school up in the mountains in a small town. When I went into the school I thought it must be exactly like the school my mom went to. In fact, the counselor that was showing me around mentioned the school hadn't really been updated since the 1920s. It was fun to walk around the school and think about the thousands of kids that have graduated from that little school. I hope I made a positive impression on the students I talked to.

Diversity

Today I drove 3 hours north to Potter Valley High School. This was a great little school that was attached to the middle school and elementary school. The senior class was 20 kids, the whole high school was 80. They had grown up with each other, knowing each other since kindergarten. The interesting thing about the school was the lack of diversity. I saw one Asian, and that was the computer teacher. I saw 7 Hispanics and they were walking home together so it seemed like they were from the same family. I can't imagine growing up like that. One reason I like the high school my kids attend was because of the diversity. I remember living in Korea and they were proud of their homogeneous society. But what happens when there isn't diversity is that you fear what you don't know. You don't learn to understand other's points of view and your whole life is narrow. My oldest daughter liked her uniqueness (being the only American at the whole school) and took advantage of it. I remember when she was in third grade she decided to have her ears pierced since the Korean kids couldn't do that. She told me that she was American so the school said it was ok for her to pierce her ears. The whole family went to the beauty parlor for Lindsey to get her ears pierced. On the way, Lindsey convinced her younger sister to do it also. I wasn't sure it that was the best idea, but Lindsey has always been very persuasive. So, when we got to the beauty parlor guess who was the first to get their ears pierced, Jayne of course. Lindsey suggested that Jayne go first, and guaranteed to Jayne it wasn't going to hurt. I can still see the lady using that "gun" to pierce the first ear, as soon as the first ear was pierced Lindsey asked Jayne if it hurt. Jayne looked at Lindsey and her eyes watered and ONE tear fell down her cheek. That was enough for Lindsey, she got up and walked out the door. I stretched my arm out and pulled Lindsey back in. By that time Jayne's second ear was done and I put Lindsey up on the chair. It was so funny then to hear Jayne convince Lindsey it didn't hurt much. They both walked home that day with their ears pierced.

I can also remember when I was in first grade we lived in East Orange, New Jersey. My best friend was black, but I didn't realize he was black, if that makes any sense. I grew up with my father in the army so race was never anything I identified with. I can remember one day going to the bus stop and some "big kids" were picking on me. They were asking me why I had a black friend. I seriously didn't know what they were talking about. I got hit at the bus stop that day and I can remember going home crying. when my mom asked me what happened I told her I didn't know. I told her I got hit and I didn't understand why. She then told me what the kids were upset about, but I really didn't understand. I'm glad I grew up with many kinds of diversity.

Good Dad, Bad Dad

Yesterday I was really busy, I started in San Francisco meeting with someone that wanted to join the National Guard, then I had to drive to San Francisco State University, then I had to drive to Livermore High School (where the sign in front of the school said "no horse riding"), then I had to drive to Santa Clara High School for a school site meeting, then I attended a few minutes of the sports award banquet (Sarah got All League!), then I had to go meet some more people that want to join the National Guard in San Jose. This morning I went to Alisal High School in Salinas then drove to my mom's house in Monterey then drove to North Salinas High School ... then drove back to Santa Clara High School to pick up Sarah at school. Tomorrow I'm on my way to Potter Valley High School which is a 3 hour drive north. I picked up some audio books tonight for tomorrow's drive and next week's marathon.

Today in Salinas I worked with SFC Davila. I really like him and have much respect for him. He and I spent time between  the two schools talking. I asked him if he was going to retire soon and he told me he was looking for a job to get after he retired, and if he found a job that he wanted, then he would retire. He has four young kids and I asked him how he could keep the long hours with his kids so young. SFC Davila (Filipe) lives about 2 hours from his office. He often works until 10 or 11 pm and then is often in his office around 8 or 9am. How he keeps up these hours I don't know, but the fire in his eyes shows he really enjoys his job. I asked him about his kids and whether he feels he is being fair to them by working such long hours. He told me his father used to beat him ... not just hit him, but beat him. He told me he really loves his dad and always has. I asked him if he was like a battered wife who blames herself for getting her husband upset at her. Filipe told me he never blamed himself when his dad beat him, but always loved him because he was his dad. It started me thinking about what kind of dad I am/was. A friend of mine told me I was a great dad today when he heard I had Sarah at my house until 9 tonight and then took her home. I think most of us dads compare ourselves to our own dads. I think we can not do that, because our dads are from a different generation (isn't that the definition of a generation...). What makes a good dad? Filipe thinks it is giving his kids things that he wasn't able to have when he was growing up. I think it has to do with how much personal time we give our kids. I feel a little sad that I can't give my kids more "things", and for many years I couldn't give them my personal time. Even though I haven't lived with my kids for many years I have made a point of living close to the kids. I have often done things for myself instead of for my kids. I wish I could have my kids live with me all their lives, but I had to make some tough decisions a few years ago. I thought it would be better for the girls to live with their mom, then their dad. I thought it would be best for the three sisters to grow up together, rather than be separated. I am very proud of my kids and feel they will have successful lives. I don't know if that has to do with me being a good dad, or their mom being a good mom, or a combination of the two, or in spite of mom and dad! Good job kids!