I give up, I can't do it!

Waiting to register.

I ran a 5K today in Aptos, CA. I ran in a park with a lot of redwood trees. This 5K race started at 9am,

5K Starting

Half Marathon Starting

 at 8:30 a half marathon started, at 8am a marathon started. This race started on an uphill incline, the first half mile was almost straight up. Then it went down and then was followed with a steady uphill until we turned around and did that the opposite direction. When I left today, at 6:30, I was excited. I thought it would be fun to be there when the real marathoners started. When the half marathoners started, more people did that than the 5K, I realized that I was doing the shortest distance. I started to realize that my 5K was really not very much considering all the people that did four times that in the half marathon and 8 times doing the marathon. I struggle to do 5K, and realize it isn't very much. Why can't I do a marathon, or a half marathon, or even a 10K.

Marathon Starting

 I do the shortest distance. As I was thinking that, the starter gun went off and the race started. I couldn't believe that the beginning was up a steep hill. I struggled up the hill. As I started running where it was flat I fell in behind a 10 year old girl and her mom. The girl was doing good, and I couldn't catch up with her, until the turn around point half way and they stopped to get a drink. After a few minutes they zipped by me again, and then I passed them. Right at the end I heard someone catching up to me and I sprinted and ended up beating whoever was behind me. It was the mother and the 10 year old girl! I started out the morning thinking I should lengthen the distance I run, I am ready to try a 10K or a half marathon. As I started the run I didn't even want to try, I can't do this. I have all these hills and all these little kids are running past me and I feel really depressed that I am not really improving each month, I am staying the same. I don't like running and I don't know why I do these. I am wasting my money running two 5K races a month and why do I wake early on weekend mornings to freeze and then run and get embarrassed by all these little kids as they zip around me as I struggle. As I am running I am thinking about what I would have done if I ran one of these things when I was 10.

10 year old girl and her mom in front of me.

 I was thinking about how a year ago I couldn't walk a mile without resting. I was thinking about these other runners that have kind of dedicated their lives to running and how much it pays off to them and I spend less than 30 minutes a day 4 times a week to be able to keep in shape. I know I wouldn't exercise at all unless I do these 5K races and how the exercise is helping me keep my weight down. I was thinking about the people I know that have been motivated by what I have done and it has encouraged them to do something they wouldn't have thought of doing otherwise. I was thinking about this as I was running. I was crossing the finish line as I realize I can't give up. I have been able to do this half a year, why not keep doing it. What would I be doing if not these races. I have something to talk about, this will be a memorable year! Watch out, I won't be stopped ... even by the 10 year old girl that almost passed me as I was crossing the finish line.

Finished with medal! Can't wait till the next one.