Smell the roses

I have been out of work for 2 weeks and I need to relax. I can't! On July 22 I stopped getting paid for working with the National Guard. On July 25 I had an interview for another job and got the job on July 28. That job came with a contingency that I had to have a background check, which I applied for on July 28. The contract they sent me said I should start work around August 11, but they will try sooner. The job that ended on July 22 should start again around August 23. I know these jobs will start, I don't even question if these two jobs will start, just which exact day. I know when they start I will be very busy and have no time for myself. I know when they start I will be on the road 5 or 6 days a week. Why can't I relax and enjoy my time off?

I still find myself looking for work. I still find myself stressing about just sitting around the house. I still jump at every phone call hoping it is word about a job. I need to go to the beach, hike in the mountains, or visit some museums. I want to, but I can't. I have never liked to be idle. I want to utilize my time effectively. Last week I went to San Francisco to volunteer my time to help ESL students. Sunday I will teach a class for a MeetUp group. I have just been certified to assist people with accent reduction. My mother lives in Monterey and would like me to just come there and spend time. Why don't I do that? My friend wants me to go on a road trip to Northern California. Why don't I do that?

I need to relax and smell the roses. I am not worried about money since I am on Unemployment and I know I will have a steady income in a couple of weeks. Maybe that is why people drink or get high so they can just relax. That has never been my style so I guess I will have to use my camera like others use drugs. I need to see what fantastic pictures I can get that is worth this idle time.