Games

Halloween 2011

Last night I went to my monthly poker party. This was a tournament that has been going on for 10 months and last night was the last game of the year. In 10 games I have been last place a couple of times and first place a couple of times. I either do very good or very bad, but it is fun any way it goes. We don't play for much money, $15 is how much we pay each game and then the person that finishes first gets much money, about $50, then less and less until the fifth place. We played 10 games and I came in fourth place. I got $75. Then this afternoon I played Settlers of Catan with the same group of people. (there were 20 in the poker tournament) When I lived overseas people didn't understand why adults played games. In fact, a few years ago I brought some Korean friends of mine to Sarah's softball game on a Saturday afternoon. They asked me why Sarah was playing a game, shouldn't she be studying! They were serious, they see no reason for games. I asked them what adults do for fun and they said, "drink". I asked them if they do anything else, and they said no. When I was in Korea I saw that the mother would often take the kids to the park or to events, and the fathers would go drinking with their friends. I think that has changed these days, at least I hope so. When my kids were younger we would often bring out board games to play; Life, Clue, Flinch, or even card games. I love just spending time with people playing games. There doesn't have to be alcohol involved to have fun, in fact when there is alcohol it sometimes reduces the fun. I think games help bring people together, increases strategy thinking, and is good clean fun.

Friends ...

Kindergarten class in Germany

I stayed home most of today, except when I went out to get stuff for my Halloween costume. I will tell you about that tomorrow. I got a call from the new company that is supposed to hire me, they said I should be on their payroll on Monday, let's hope it happens!! I also got a couple of calls from friends that had read this blog and heard about my job problems and that I was a little down. One girl asked if I had many friends that I could hang out with while I wasn't working. I told her that everyone I knew had a job and had to work during the day. That girl pointed out that she was between jobs and had time, but today she was on her way to see a friend. It made me start to think about friends and what did that really mean and as we get older do we get less friends, well that doesn't make sense. I think the relationship with friends starts to change. As we have children we want to be with friends that have children. As they grow up we have more time to spend with people other than children. How many friends do you have? Is a friend someone you go over to visit? Is a friend someone you can call if your car breaks at the side of the road? Is a friend you see often? Is a friend someone you call when you are feeling "down"? I don't know the answer to those questions. I have different kinds of friends, and I think everyone is my friend, no matter age or anything else. I have many friends, yet I have few friends. It all depends on your definition of friends. I don't really know why I am writing this, except maybe if I write about it I can figure it out. But, the more I write the more confused I am. When we were kids it was so much easier, a friend is someone that allowed you to copy the answers for homework or a test!!

Sometimes I think that a friend is someone that would attend your funeral. Think of all the books, movies, and plays that have the scene where someone is believed to be dead and the person attends or observes their own funeral. I have literally thousands of students that would mourn my death. Some I have not seen for many many years, and some I had in class last week. I wonder if those ex-students are present friends. All the people I have known through the years that I don't keep in touch with any more. The school secretaries I saw every morning, my receptionists that helped me with work over the years, the recruiters that I assist and assist me in my present job. All of them I know I can depend on when I need help, and can depend on me when they need help, in work or their personal life. I guess they are friends, just not close friends. My college friends are probably closer to me than my high school friends which I have just started to get in contact with recently. They would mourn me, and I consider them my friends too. WOW, as I think of it I have tons of friends that all I have to do is reach out to and they would help me. I am glad I am writing this, I realize the hundreds of friends I have. From the guy next door that I say hello to every morning, but don't talk to otherwise, to my college friend that I talk to on the phone once or twice a year and even my old receptionist/secretary that lives far away, but keeps in contact either when she needs a letter of recommendation or just wants to say hi and tell me she is thinking about me. One of the people that called me yesterday was an old girlfriend that I feel really bad about breaking her heart because I would have eventually broken up with her and would rather hurt her a little rather than a lot. Well, this is getting a lot longer than I had though it would. I wrote this over two days because I didn't think I did it justice the first day. Writing it made me feel better about my life and I hope anyone that reads it will realize how many friends they have and find the time to thank them and let them know they are important to them. There is a girl on the internet that I talk to, when she is on line and I am too, that talks about being important to others is a big deal to her. I realized that she is important to me because she is always there when I need to reach out and talk to someone and I told her that. It made her happy to hear it, even though she will never meet me (she works very close to where I live) and it made me happy to make her happy. Everyone should make a list of who would attend their funeral then realize how important they are to other people and then act that way.

Oh, in this picture can you tell which is me? And no, I don't know who the other kids are and we didn't keep in touch. It is my Kindergarten class when I was a kid in Germany.

High School Sports

Tonight I went to go see my daughter's volleyball team. She is the captain of the JV team. I really like to see her play, and I think she is very very good. Last year they didn't win any games, this year they have won almost all their games. My daughter has very good grades and she is also in the school's student council. In addition to that full schedule (including four honor classes) she is on the volleyball and softball teams. I was on the swim team in high school, Jayne, the middle daughter, was on the track team one year, and Lindsey the oldest daughter was on the softball team one year ... but I never realized how much time these sports take out of a student's schedule. She has two games a week where she plays in the JV game from 4:45 to 6:30 and then once a week she needs to stay until the end of the varsity game which can go as late as 9:15. After the game she has to go home and eat and then do homework, of course the day she has to stay late is Thursday and she has at least two tests on Fridays. Softball isn't so bad, but still plays twice a week and practices till 6:00 the other three days. The season is almost over and I am glad she isn't in a winter sport so she can have some time off for school. I don't know if she knows how great I think she is doing!

Feeling down ...

I got up this morning and was going to run ... but I didn't. I was going to go to Monterey to visit my mom, in fact I got all packed ... but I didn't. I was going to go buy parts to fix my daughter's computer ... but I didn't. I don't like when I get in this kind of mood. If I really think of why I am feeling like this it is because I don't like to feel useless. I always like working. Even when I am on vacation I feel guilty and want to keep in contact with work. I haven't had a job, officially, for 4 weeks but I keep in contact with the people I work with and the schools that I have worked with in the past. I do that so I don't feel useless. Tomorrow I will be attending a big meeting that I don't even know if my boss will be attending. If he is there, which he is supposed to, then I am glad he sees that I really care about my job. He probably won't be there, because he doesn't see any importance in this meeting, and I will refuse to represent him. The people that I support don't even know that I am not employed right now, until they need something from me. I need to stay busy, tomorrow after the meeting I will go to the gym, then Sarah's volleyball game (she really is very good) and then I will go to a MeetUp game night and be around people. People say that exercise keeps you from feeling blue, but I wonder which comes first ... feeling good enough to work out, or to work out so you feel good. Sort of like the chicken and the egg thing. I hope everyone that reads this (if anyone does) has a better day than I do.

Unemployed!

Since 30 September I have been unemployed. For a month I have been waiting for a document to be signed in Washington D.C. so I can be hired back to do the same job I have been doing for the past three years. When I was first hired for this job I worked for a company that had a national contract and they had people in many states doing the same work I do, supporting the National Guard recruiters for their state. Under that contract we had to be renewed every year. We didn't know if that contract would be renewed until the last week of the contract. Sometimes we were told the contract wouldn't be renewed, then it was. In March California finally took charge of my position and rather than be part of the national contract they decided to put me under a state wide contract. The reduced the number of people that do my job from three to two, and put us under a contract that was already in place. They modified the contract they had for other people in the state that included the secretaries and put our position on it. The problem was that the contract specifically said we wouldn't drive, so it didn't cover what we were supposed to do. So, all summer I wasn't able to travel, which I should have done a lot this summer. When they changed contracts from national to state contracts I was out of a job for four weeks. I had work I had to do, so I still did it ... hoping I would be paid for it later. I wasn't, but the new contract paid me MUCH more money, because it took into consideration where I lived. For the first time in three years I was paid the same as the people I worked for. In September it was decided to go back to the national contract. I don't know why that decision was made, I wasn't asked, but they made that decision and they had been told by the national contractor that the contract had been approved and I would finish with one contract on Friday, September 29, and be under the new contract the following Monday, October 2. On Friday I was called and told that there was a problem and I wouldn't have a job on Monday, they expected the new contract to be approved within a day or two. After two weeks of not being employed the boss of the new company called me and told me they didn't know when the new contract would be signed and he was going to contact the state and suggest they put us under the old contract because not having a job was not fair to the employees. I realized at that time this was a bigger problem than I had thought, when the company is giving up their chance to make more money by having us work for them then they know they have a big problem. For the last two weeks I have been looking for a new job. I have a problem because I love the job I have been doing in the last three years. It is the ideal job for me and I don't really want to change jobs. I had one interview for tutoring jobs and they were very very excited to have me work with them. I turned down the job because I don't really want to work with young kids any more. I applied for a job in Japan, and I have an interview with that company in a week. It is hard to figure out what kind of job I want in the future. I have decided to take charge of my life and do the things I need to so I can improve my future. I just know I can't stay unemployed for much longer. I have applied for unemployment insurance and hope that can help me find a new job in the near future. I still stay involved in my old job, I went to one school yesterday, another one today and when I am asked for help I give help. Many people in the National Guard don't even know my situation. I need to work, but I'm not getting paid for it! I guess I really would do my job without getting paid, in fact I am doing that.

Writers Block ...

Where does this trail lead to?

I realize I haven't written this whole month. I wonder why I haven't wanted to write. There have been many things I have wanted to write about. I wanted to write about me keeping the weight off, and even lost more. I wanted to write about my daughter being a leader in many parts of her life. I wanted to write about how happy I was when my daughter stayed at my house for three weeks. I wanted to write about me wanting to show my weight loss picture to everyone I meet. I wanted to write about finding a job after graduating for college. I wanted to write about my class in San Francisco class this month and how fun the students were. I wanted to write about not being employed and how bad it makes you feel, even though you understand the reasoning and know you will have a job, the same job, soon. I wanted to write about many things, but haven't because ... well I don't know why. I guess I got out of the habit of writing and need to get back into the habit. Well, this is the first step. Hopefully I can take the second step tomorrow (after I come back from the gym).